The Most Important Battle of My Life. And Also, You Guys Are Just Effing Funny!

No. Not that kind of battle.

This is a Facebook Battle. And just so you know, this is more important than FarmVille or Cafe World (which I never even tried to play).

Okay!

So guys, this is important. I need you to judge who won. I think I did but my friend (remember Guy Friend?) doesn't think so. He said I lost BIG TIME!

Some friend I have. Right?

So here are some photo evidence of the said battle.

Click the images to enlarge. Please. (I asked nicely. See? I'm nice. Make me win this.)

The Emoticon Battle With Another David

5 minutes later...

No response from David. 

.....

....

...

..

.

10 minutes later...

Still no response.

Ha! I won!

And then, After about 20 minutes, Facebook said: "David posted something on your wall."

Yes. I declared myself a winner. But Guy Friend said, "You lost. He's gained 1,000 points for that last one. He's way ahead, you loser."

Hearing that, I ran to my room and cried myself to sleep. (Well, actually I didn't. I just wanted to get sympathy from you to get you to say what I want to hear. I'm shallow like that.)

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In other news...

These are some stuff I found this week that made me laugh out loud while at work and made my coworker look at me like I'm crazy because I'm laughing when I'm supposed to be working but what they didn't know was that I was actually reading blog posts while on Twitter and Facebook and of course, well, working.

I know, right?

From Johana:

She started her post with a warning, saying that--

Oh, just click to enlarge.

I guess she knew that her post will make me crave for something that I can't possibly buy at that moment because I'm at work and I can't go out.

And of course, my favorite badass Ashley a.k.a Crazy Brunette. She has a video blog challenge where you need to watch her video and drink something alcoholic every time she says the word fuck (including fucking, fucker, fuckhead and all those things). So go to her blog and do that challenge. And tomorrow, I expect to read some BUI (Blogging Under the Influence).

No. I'm not forcing you.

I'm not threatening you either.

So everyone, (AND I MEAN YOU. YES. ALL OF YOU), you are all so awesome! I really think I need to tell you that. Because it's true.

Oh! I guess I need to explain why I updated my last post and added: UPDATE: Okay. This is a OBVIOUSLY a satire and not supposed to be taken seriously.

I got an e-mail sort of lecturing me about the detrimental effects of not bathing. Can you believe that? Well, neither can I.

And I take a bath TWICE a day, thank you very much.

Anyway.

Back to the battle. Guys, who won??

Edit: Earlier, I included the Google Analytics keywords here but I decided it's better if I turn it into an entirely new post.

♥

How Did You Guys Find Me? *updated* (because Tann And Ria gave me something)

Two posts in one day? Ha!

Anyway, my original post is HERE!

Are you guys interested to know how people end up on my blog by Googling random stuff?

Let's pretend you said yes.

♦ Gnetch - aw geez. I'm Googleable. At first I thought Narcy was net-stalking me by Googling my name and found my blog but the visitor was from the U.S. So I think I'm pretty safe? From Narcy, I mean.

♦ I love Gnetch - really? I love you too. Whoever you are. I guess.

♦ Thank goodness slut - you're welcome.

♦ I have PMS fuck off - Fine!

♦ She uses a lot of emoticons - Do I?

Here's the rest. Including the location: Click to enlarge. Please.

So I know there are some sentences that are sort of cut and not completely visible. So here they are:

☺ I feel guilty just to let you wait or something.

☺ I hate all the wedding songs where are the good ones.

☺ i'm new to twitter. bear with me. wordpress.com

Which one did you think was funniest?

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I would like to thank Ria @ Serious Stuff About Lif-- Oooh Shiny!!! who gave me this:

And Tann @ Tiny Tann who gave me this:

I think I'm the most spoiled blogger ever. I love you girlies! Thanks.

*UPDATED!!!* Non-Violent Ways To Get Back At Someone

Even though we are all a bunch of nice, sweet, and innocent people (just say yes or I'll punch you right now), there are still some people who can't help but be mean to us. But because of our piss peace-loving nature, we don't want violence.

Guess what?

I have thought of some unique, non-violent ways of getting back at those assholes mean people.

But first of all, when you're planning something, avoid smiling like this:

You're gonna be too obvious. Instead, practice smiling like this:

See? She's holding a weapon but because she's smiling so innocently, you would think it's a present.

So, ALWAYS remember to smile like that.

Anyway, here are my suggestions:

1. If Mean Person is a housemate.

The Plan:

Wake up at around 3 a.m. Make sure Mean Person is sleeping so you can sneak into their room. Before you go inside the said room, get a pinch of sugar. Note that I said sugar because it's sweet and fine. Go inside their room and sprinkle the sugar in their ears and quietly step out of the room and go back to sleep. In the morning, you will notice Mean Person's ears are all red and itchy. It means The Plan has worked. The ants are inside Mean Person's ears. Smile THE smile.

2. If Mean Person is a know-it-all classmate who always negates other people's efforts and suggestions.

The Plan:

When you have a group project at school, make sure your meeting takes place in your backyard and make everyone sit on the grass or on a rock. Provide unlimited supply of drinks. Group meetings always take a long time especially with a person like that so it's pretty obvious that with all the drinks and shit, Mean Person is gonna go to the bathroom to pee. This is your opportunity. Grab one of the huge rocks and put it inside Mean Person's book bag. When they come back, smile THE smile.

3. If Mean Person is simply unbearable, self-centered, self-obsessed (and everything that starts with self),  cocky, immature, bitch, who always thinks about what other people think of them... Well-- in one word, unbearable. But I said that already.

So Mean Person wants to hang out the coming weekend.

The Plan:

Say yes. Do not make some silly excuse on why you can't make it. Things like that don't work because they can always reschedule. Just say yes and do not take a shower the whole week. Do not even use deodorant. Remember, Mean Person always cares about what other people think of them so you need to do something over the top that they wouldn't want to hang out with you again.

Dress up like a stinky hooker. Use onion extract as body spray if you need to. Just make sure you stink.

Also, make sure they arrive at your meeting place first.

And show up like this:

Suzy Johnson's pictures found here.

UPDATE: Okay. This is a OBVIOUSLY a satire and not supposed to be taken seriously.

♥

sad news, happy news, and cheating boyfriend

Yes, guys. I'm alive.

So I have a happy news and a sad news (for me). Which would you like to hear first?

So sad news first: Two followers decided to leave me last night. :(   They probably thought I was dead. Or maybe they didn't like the songs I recommended on my last post. Also, I've been getting weird comments lately. From one person.

Okay, I'm done.

Now, for the happy news......

......

....

...

..

.

I got a new follower! Yay! Hello, Ashley @ You're the Charlie Browniest! Thanks for following.

And...

I got tagged!!!

How come you guys don't look surprised???

I got tagged 4 times this week so this is gonna be a long post. So let's do this already.

Please continue reading. You might learn some things you wish you never knew about me. *smiles*.

WARNING: THIS IS A LONG POST. AND I MEAN LOOOOOOOONG....

So first, Johana @ The Mercurial Wife, (check out her blog. You won't be disappointed. She has a way of telling stories that will get you hooked) tagged me on a photo meme where I'm supposed to post the 8th photo from the 8th folder in my My Pictures. So here it is:

Can you see it clearly? There's actually a better shot of this bracelet but this one was the 8th picture. Anyway, this bracelet was one of my designs summer of 2008. Remember, I told you I design accessories? This was one of my old ones.

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This second one was from Johana too. The Versatile Blogger Award.

Thanks, Johana. Now I have an excuse to talk about myself without sounding like a narcissistic bitch. Yay!!!

7 facts about me:

1. I never EVER tried to read Sweet Valley High when I was in high school. My friends loved it but I never did. I loved Christopher Pike.

2. In high school, my friends and I had this Top 10 crushes of the week and mine never failed to include Nick Carter, Taylor Hanson, Rob Thomas, Stephen Jenkins, and Edward Furlong on my list. Don't judge me, fuckers!

3. The song Barenaked by Jennifer Love Hewitt has been playing in my head for days now. And I'm loving it. Hello, LSS!

4. Did you know my very first blog post was a sad/angry one? Yes it was. I deleted it the day after I published it because I wasn't proud of it and it wasn't me. Not that I don't ever get sad or angry. I do. Hello, human here.

5. I hate people who whines/complains a lot.

6. I am the eldest in the family.

7. I'm turning 28 this June. Okay- STOP.

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Okay, last one. I got the Super Comments Award from Janjan @ Between Me and My Thoughts and Mitch @ Upside Down:

Probably because I comment a lot. Haha!

Here are the rules for this one (simplified version) :

1. Thank and link the person who gave you this award.

2. Place the award on your blog.

3. Answer the 10 questions associated with the award.

4. Pass the award.

Super thanks to both of you, Jan and Mitch! And thanks, Mitch for the small Facebook talk. Biiiig thanks!!!

Okay, so here are the 10 questions that I copied from Janjan's blog. I swear, I'm bad at answering questions that require me to remember super old memories so PLEASE bear with me.

1. Why do you blog?
- I enjoy it. And I also gain friends. You're all so fun to talk to and I love reading your comments. You guys make me laugh even when you're making fun of me by using :/  - Yes. That.

2. What are your three best memories?
- See? I told you, this is one of the questions that I find super hard. I swear I do have good experiences, I just can't think of any at the moment.

3. If you had to change your real name, what would you change it to? 

- I've always liked the name Andrea. Or Super Gnetch. Whichever sounds better.

4. What are the five things you can't live without?
• Cellphone
• PC (without this, how can I blog?)
• Girly stuff (makeup, bags, shoes, etc.) - hey, it's counted as 1.
• Cologne (I like colognes better than perfumes because it's easier to use/abuse).
• Money (Now tell me one person who can live without this. I'm honest.)

5. What are the four best books you've ever read?
- Another example of questions you need to rack your brain to answer! I've read quite a lot of books. I don't know which one's the best.

6. Tell me something unique and interesting about yourself.
- I wish you can answer this for me. I really don't know the answer to this.

7. What do you love about yourself?

- Like Jan, I don't panic that easily.

8. What is the best movie ever made?
- I rarely watch movies.

9. If you had a "freaky friday" experience, who would you trade places with and why?
-  Suri Cruise. I don't want to explain.

10. What's the best part about being a woman?
- We can do guy stuff. In high heels! Woot!

Damn you guys! Those questions are so difficult!

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Now, for the tagging, of course, again, I'm tagging the most awesome bloggers ever! You can find your names HERE.

You can choose if you want to participate or not. Again, I won't hold it against you. I'm just gonna burn your house down if you didn't. So. Your choice.

Also, feel free to choose which award you want to get.

But really, you assbags make me happy. And to those who posted the awards I gave them the last time, thank you!!!

I'm so emo today. I hate this.

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For a more serious matter, I caught my boyfriend cheating.

With Lindsay Lohan!

Dear Drew Fuller,

We are through. Don't go to my house. Don't call me. Don't text me.

And don't even try to give me THAT look.

Uh-oh. I said don't.

Damn.

Fine. I forgive you. Will you rinse Lindsay's coke-filled saliva off your mouth?

There.

I'm taking you back.

I love you too.

Love,

Why Are You Getting All So Wedding-y?

I just noticed that this past week, most blogs I've been following have discussed the "W" word.

Wedding!

Then I realized, yeah, it's almost June (fuck you, June! You'll make me another year older). Wedding month!

So that's probably the reason why you guys have been all wedding-y!

And since you're all so wedding-y, I decided to make you a list of the most awesome wedding songs that, as far as I know, have not been used in ANY weddings. Of course, since I know that wedding songs have to be somehow related to your love story, I will also provide you a few love stories that may possibly be YOUR love story. So if you're planning to get married sometime soon, this is your lucky day!!

But wait. I will only choose a few lines from each song to fit your supposed love story better.

Love story #1:

You and your partner met in elementary school and it was like magic. After more than 15 years of being together, you decided it was time to elope. Simply because you cannot live without each other. You're addicted to each other like a person is addicted to Ecstasy. You are possessive, your partner is possessive, but it is okay. You need each other. It's just like heaven.

Possible wedding singer: Celine Dion

Most appropriate wedding song for you: Get Down by the Backstreet Boys

*You know what to do guys. Click the images to enlarge.

 

They can even use the rap part for their honeymoon.

Bang, bang, bang!
Here we come, Here we slam!!!

See? That song is quite useful for weddings!

Love story #2:

You are a battered girlfriend and your boyfriend's name is Danny. You love him way too much despite the fact that he is an alcoholic. Danny loves to drink and go sing in karaoke bars. He gets too drunk sometimes that he knocks you down. What an ass. But you love him. So you forgive him every time and decide to marry him when he asked.

Possible wedding singer: Rihanna

Most appropriate wedding song: Tub Thumping by Chumbawamba

Love story #3:

You are a stalker. You fooled the person you're stalking by pretending to be a nice person and made her fall in love with you. Now, you two are getting married. Everything's going according to plan. You're feeling awesome. She makes you feel so hot. There's no way you can ever let her go. That's how obsessed you are with her.

Possible wedding singer: Billy Ray Cyrus

Most appropriate wedding song: Hot by Avril Lavigne

Have a fun wedding. You're welcome.

So Let Me Share My Headache With You

Hello there guys!!!

What? I'm bubbly today!

Okay. You got me. I have a headache. Yes. So I thought I'd share my headache with all of you. I don't want you to think I'm a selfish bitch.

Ready?

So I came across this certain website that gave me such a headache just because I tried so effing hard to understand it. My skull felt like it was about to explode. Well, maybe I'm kinda slow today. But I took it as a challenge. I read EVERY post. And I took it as a brain exercise to use some of their words in a sentence. Just for you, guys.

Consider these sentences your guideline because I'm going to direct you to that site later.

☻Grape

- Don't go out scantily clad. You might be graped.

☻Homeless sexual

- Homeless sexual is a person who is attracted to members of the same sex.

☻Bideos
- Have you seen the YouTube bideo of that funny guy from that show?

☻Cock cola

- Cock cola tastes better than Pepsi.

☻Christmas Christ
-  Christmas Christ had long hair.

☻Piss
- Rest in piss.

Feeling the headache now?

But I must say, that "piss" thing gave me an idea.

They actually said "John Lennon, rest in piss." Which was a little bit disturbing. Like they wanted the poor guy to rest in his own urine.

Do you think I interpreted it correctly?

So what if they wanted to say "Peace on earth."

What? They say piss instead of peace, right?


The website I was talking about: HERE.

Oh! I forgot to say that you need a couple of aspirins ready before reading this post.

Too late now.

Let me warn you that though it's a humor site, it's racist-ish. Just don't take it seriously. It's funnier that way.

Oh No You Didn't!

Remember my story about this emoticon?

Okay. For new readers who are too lazy to click on that link, that emoticon was overused by my friend when we were Facebook chatting and I started hating that emoticon because it looked like person with facial paralysis and it is totally inappropriate to use on every fucking sentence especially when you say, "Hahaha! :/"

But. Ever since I started ranting about that, it never stopped appearing! Not in my dreams, you judgmental assbag*! It never stopped appearing on ALMOST every message I got!

On text messages, E-mails, and comments.

Are you guys shitting me or this emoticon is really out to get me?

Examples:

PLEASE click the images to enlarge.

Christina:

David:

Pure Gold Lady:

And of course, surprise...

Ashley:

Do I need to encircle this?

I swear this is still her.

Look! Even on Facebook!

You guys are making me angry.

Meet me outside now!

*gets some homemade explosives and sharp tools*

And don't call the police.

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P.S. I got 2 awards again. This time from Tyla @ Run Fat Girl, Run

The awards are here IF you want to know what those are.

Thanks, Tyla.♥

* My new favorite word from Ashley

The Blog Tagging Slut Does It Again

Hello there guys!

So as the title says, I got a few awards this week.

Yes. Again.

These awards are really really going in circles!

Which is awesome.

Though some people say these memes are JUST like a popularity contest.

Not for me. I love them. Because you guys gave it to me.

So first, Johana @ The Mercurial Wife and Zac @ Chaotic Poetic Spits gave me the Beautiful Blogger Award.

(Who's prettier now, David?)

For the 7 things you don't know about me, click HERE.

Sorry, I'm kinda lazy to think of another 7 things about me. Also, it's 1:00 p.m. here already and I need to sleep because I have work tonight.

Please understand...

And then Mishieru @ Upside Down gave me the Master Of Karate and Friendship Award!

THANK YOU GUYS!

So, I'm supposed to tag a certain number of people for each award but you know what? I have a list of the most awesome bloggers ever.

If you're not on the list, don't feel bad. And PLEASE DON'T HATE ME. *puppy dog eyes*

It's either I unintentionally missed your name or you're not following me publicly (STALKER)!

But everyone gets one. Or both.

Also, if you comment, you get one.

Note: If I don't see these awards on your next post or your sidebars, I'll hunt you down and steal all the beautiful clothes and alcoholic beverages you have.

So don't you DARE ignore this!

I love you guys!