Saturday, January 30, 2010

I Think You Need A Mirror

I am really in a bad mood. Seriously.

I have these coworkers that are really, really, really getting to my nerves. Three of them to be exact. They are friends. They are just so unbelievably mean and insensitive. Or maybe it's a way for them to feel better about themselves. I don't know. But that's just childish. I mean, their physical flaws will always be there no matter how much they try to criticize others and rub in their faces how thin or how fat they are. Whatever. Get a mirror or something!

Okay, let me explain.

I am 5'1" and I weigh 102 pounds. So yes, I'm on the thin side. I never denied that because I'm very well aware of that, thank you. But these coworkers of mine, every time, and I mean every time, they get the chance, they will tell me that I'm way too thin. But not in a casual way. It's like in a mocking kinda way. Which, of course, makes me look at them and see their flaws even more.

To make it easier for you, I look like this:

And this is my closeup look (sorry, this picture is taken inside a bar) :

But they are trying to convince convince me and apparently themselves that I look like this:


Here are some of the comments they made recently:

They did not exactly say these in English. I'll just translate them for you.

Girl 1: Hey, you're too thin already. You've got to stop dieting. (No one told her that I was dieting. She just assumed that my small frame is a product of self-starvation. Or something like that. Also, we are not close and we are not friends for her to know whether or not I am on a diet.)

This Girl 1 has really made a lot of comments about my frame in the past. Like she told me straight to my face that I refused to gain weight because I was afraid that my boyfriend might leave me. And I don't even have a boyfriend.
There's another night (I work night shifts), I was in the ladies' room, fixing my hair or something. And one of these girls came in, looked at me and commented:

Girl 2: You're getting thinner and thinner. (Apparently, Girl 1 has convinced her that I was on a diet. She (Girl 1) has this way of convincing every one that she knows what she's talking about so that was how she convinced Girl 2.

Anyway, I tried to answer Girl 2 that it's hard for me to gain weight. She totally misinterpreted what I said because she didn't let me finish. She was like, "Hard for you? That's hard? Compare your body to mine and tell me what's hard." I was shocked. Did she just blame me because she was fat?

Then there was Girl 3. (This is actually why I decided to post this. And this is why I'm not in a good mood today.) Last night, we had a little birthday celebration at work so there were food. During the first break, the person celebrating her birthday said we can all start eating. And because I didn't want to hear any comments again from those 3 apparently perfect girls, I did not hesitate to eat the things my doctor told me not to. (There are certain foods that are really REALLY bad for my health.) Good. I did not hear anything. Plus, I really miss normal food because I have been avoiding the "bad stuff" for a couple of months already.

Then the second break came. There were still food to eat. We had to eat again. But I was still full. So Girl 3 said, "Come on, eat again so you can gain weight."

I had my back turned when she said that. So I turned to face them and said, "Who said that? Did you really have to say that?" No one answered. But of course, knowing her for years now, I know her voice. I just thought I had to ask.

I hate to say this but they are overweight. At least Girls 2 and 3 are. Girl 1's weight, I think, is normal for her height. But if you ask me if I care about how they look, no. I don't.

Have I ever commented on them being fat? No.

Have I ever made them feel that they need to go on a diet so they would look better? No.

Did they ever hear me complain that I think I'm fat? No. Because I don't think I am. I KNOW I'M THIN AND IT HAS NEVER BEEN ANYONE'S PROBLEM.

And I never felt the need to insult them because I never cared. And I did not feel the need to comment on things that I know are not relevant.

So they're fat. So what?

So I'm thin. So what?

It just pisses me off that some people think they can feel better about themselves by making others feel miserable. Does calling me too, too-thin-make their fat ass look normal? Hell no! Rubbing it in my face only made me see the things I never cared to even notice before.

What I'm trying to say is that we all have flaws. Okay, I'm not the nicest person in the world. I can be tactless and think I'm being funny. I can throw a tantrum when things get out of hand. I'm not perfect! But rubbing salt to someone's wound is not my style. SO not!

I should end this hatefest here.

Sorry guys, no comedy today. But expect one tomorrow. That's a promise.

And also, do you have similar experiences with "perfect" people? Share your thoughts.

Love you all!!!!!!!!

PS: Just to prove a point, how come Girl 1 always tries to borrow clothes from me if I'm toooooo thin? What gives?

Tuesday, January 26, 2010


Last night, I was like this: I AM PISSED! I think my muse went on vacation. How could my muse go on vacation so early in my blogging career?

And then this morning, I saw this... look over to the right guys. Scroll down a little bit. See? EIGHT FOLLOWERS??? My! That is AWESOME!!! Suddenly, my I-AM-PISSED mood turned into I-AM-DELIGHTED mood. Eight followers in 3 weeks of blogging? That's a good thing, right? Well, for me it is. So I thought I just have to thank them. And also the others who have shared their thoughts on my posts. And to the 400+ views (according to Flag Counter). I just want to thank you all! Though it would have been better if those 400+ viewers have at least posted a comment or something. *laughs* that is asking too much.

Anyway, here are my THANK YOUs. (Thank yous are arranged according to appearance).

Drum rolls please...

Maureen: My first ever follower. I actually e-mailed her to let her know that I love her posts and her template and all that. I saw her on Blogs of Note and hers was one of the first blogs I followed. Well, being a nice woman that she is, she checked out my blog and followed. Thank you.

Copie23: I don't know if this is a man or a woman. But still, thank you! I think you are someone I know personally and you just created a blog so I would have another follower and save my plummeting self-esteem. Hahaha! But still, thanks!

Christina In Wonderland: I kinda whored out my blog to her because she posted a discussion on 20sb about her looking for humor blogs so I sorta said, "Hey, mine's funny!" Haha! Good thing she liked it. Wait. Did you really, Christina?

Lauren and Unbreakable (a.k.a. JackoStain): I think they arrived on the same day, January 22. Correct me if I'm wrong, you guys. And Unbreakable is really a good commenter. Totally!

So there, the last time I checked, I had 5 followers and I was ecstatic.

Then today, when I checked my blog again, (to try to think of something to post) I have 3 more! *woot woot!*

So to Kate, Brandon Neil, and Harrid, THANK YOU!

I think I'm gonna cry now.

Nah! I'm not gonna cry! Did you buy that crap? Yeah okay, I thought you didn't.

And to the others who posted their comments on my latest post:

@Meghan: Yes, you should try my advice. It worked for me. Yay! If it doesn't work, I have a lot more plans to share. Just let me know.

@Kate: Thanks. It was a desperate time for me so I had to come up with a brilliant plan. lol.

@Brandon Neal: I didn't exactly say that all guys are like that. And I know you're not like that because... YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED! Woohooo! Congratulations!

@Egosyntonic: Your creepy creep really is creepy! And he liked you because you have warm hair?? That is like beyond creepy! Is he like the thin man on Charlie's Angels? Kidding. Thanks.

@Andhari: Youre right. Creeps come in all shapes and sizes. Thanks for stopping by. ;D

Guess that's about it.

Oh wait, to the others that I was not able to insert their links, SORRY! For some reason, I can't find it. Don't hate me.

There is more to come, I promise!

THIS IS AN UPDATE: Guess what? I have another one! AMANDA!!!! Thank you so much.

PS: I hope no one noticed my typo when I said "by that crap" instead of "buy that crap." But I've corrected it already so whatevs!

ANOTHER UPDATE: (Man... I'm never gonna get tired updating this post! NEVER!) I have 2 additions!

@Another David: You are #10! That's just awesomely awesome. Thanks!

@Egosyntonic: Thank you! Have you tried my hot sister scheme yet? Well, I guess my next post should be for you: FRENCH STALKER, GO AWAY! Sound good? But I have to get ready for work now. I'll post something this weekend. ;D

Guys, I've visited all your blogs and you are all fascinating! Check out each other's blogs. You'll never regret it. ;D

HERE'S ANOTHER ANOTHER UPDATE: I have another addition! Meghan!!! Thanks! And as of today, January 29, 2010, we are officially bloggy friends.

Guess what??? I have another... UPDATE!!! (Please don't get tired of these updates. I'm loving it).

@Katherine: Thank you and welcome to my blog! Your photo looks so adorable. You have cute little boys. Aww...

NEW UPDATE: (This post is now the official WELCOME FOLLOWERS post).

So to Connie, Sami, Amanda, and V: Thanks guys. You caught me at my worst mood. Haha!

UPDATE AGAIN: I have another follower! Welcome to my blog V. You're the 2nd V here. And you're just in time for my 1st month blogday! ;D

Also, may I welcome Lil Landy and Shelbie Brown!!!

NEW UPDATE: May I present to you all, Rachel Blate!!! Thanks Rachel. But I clicked on your photo, I didn't see your web address. I'd love to visit your blog. ;D

And... Nic Lake! Thanks! Love your "Regret" post! It got me thinking. ;D

UPDATE: I have new followers, T and Cupcake. Welcome and thank you for stalking!!!

AGAIN... UPDATE - 02/28/10 : I'd like to thank Jess, Elizapaa, and Amber.

Also, one follower left. :( I wonder what made her leave. My mutant post or my new layout?

LATE UPDATE: The follower who left has now been replaced by Somekioffunky and I'm so happy. And sorry for the late Welcome Message.

03/07/10 UPDATE: Thanks for following Becca! Your kids are really cute!

03/08/10 UPDATE: Thanks for your comment Jane! And welcome to my crazy brain! lol

Also Rob. Welcome. And do my prank. It's fun!

Damn! I should've thought about putting the dates on my updates a long time ago. But as I said, my brain is crazy. So brain, I forgive you. I don't blame you for not reminding me to put dates on my updates. I don't hold grudge. Love you, brain.

UPDATE: Hi awesome readers! Today, 03/09/10, we have a new friend, Ali!

UPDATE ON 03/10/10: I feel awesome that I've been updating this almost everyday. Thank you all. And I'd like to welcome Ashton! But I can't see your URL. You can send it to me if you like so I can insert your link here. ;D

03/17/10: I would like to welcome Carina the Blogarina @ The Blogette. Welcome to my blog girlie!
Also, welcome to my blog, Andy!!! ;D

03/18/10: Hi newest follower, Katie Walters! *super wave*

03/21/10: So we have a new addition. Someone just joined my cult. Welcome, Jordan! ;)

03/22/10: You guys. We have a new one. Hi, Stylez! Thanks so much! And Johana Hill! Thanks.

03/23/10: I saw a new follower. Thank you for following, Rainey.

03/24/10: Hi, Jill! Thanks for following. You're so awesome!  ;)

03/25/10: I have another follower. She's Shannon a.k.a. good girl gone grad. Thanks, Shannon!


Friday, January 22, 2010

Stay Away, Creep!

Creep: noun
A male that a female is not interested in. A woman may label a man a creep if the man does not communicate to her well and the only thing he does show to her is his physical attractiveness, which is not enough to interest her.
-- Urban Dictionary

We've all had creeps in our lives, haven't we? Those dudes who just won't stop bugging us no matter what? Those dudes so full of themselves that they think we're only playing hard to get?

Now, I'd like to suggest one way to drive them away, those creeps! Of course, we will only know what a creep a guy is after, say, we went out with him at least once, and he just wont stop calling or texting after.

Here's what you should do: First of all, THIS IS IMPORTANT; think of another guy's name. Say, in this case, Robert.

When Creep calls you and insists to get another date, ask for his home phone number and tell him you're gonna him. He will, of course, be delighted. Tell him when and what time you're gonna be calling to make sure he, and not anyone else, answers the phone.

I have provided you with 2 elaborate scenarios.


Phone rings.

CREEP: Hello?
YOU: Hi, it's me.
CREEP: (Tries to hide the excitement in his voice and fails miserably.) What's up? I'm glad you called. I was just thinking about you.

Right, creep.

YOU: (Right). Uhm, I really want to talk to you about... This is kinda awkward.
CREEP: (Again. Him. Excited. Flattered?) Tell me. I actually...

Cut him off.

YOU: I heard you have a HOT sister. Can you introduce us? You wouldn't mind, would you? Dude?

In case he doesn't have a hot sister:


CREEP: I don't have a sister.
YOU: Oh sorry! I thought I was calling Robert!

Hang up.


Friday, January 15, 2010

I Can Make Some Sense Too, You Know?

So a friend of mine just gave birth to a baby boy. Because of this, I took the liberty of sharing with everyone their fabulously fabulous moment.

How their love started...

Well not that I know the whole story... I just made up this story based on the photos I have stolen from them. Yeah, that's theft, i know.

So I'm gonna call this story...



It all starts when two people f... yeah, you know what I mean. F...ind each other.

The girl has been waiting for the perfect man for her...

and in came this man.

They fell in love.


Sorry guys, I was not able to steal a wedding photo. Maybe I'm not as good a thief as I thought.

And then the good things came... They did it.

Yes. *nodding*



Obviously, the new mommy is happy... but still, she's gotta "Bring It!"

Nine months later (fast forward)... the baby came out... fresh off the uterus.

*whispers* I deliberately covered those with smileys. I don't want him to have a naked photo scandal circling around the net in case he grows up to be a Hollywood star. I'm just being careful, okay.

Can you blame me? Even they can't take their hands off him.

So, I'm done talking. Just take a look at this adorable little angel and the proud parents...

Cute, huh?

So happy for you guys.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Pimple Leave: How Come There's No Such Thing?

Calling all managers, presidents of the company, and every one else in between. This is an appeal for a new leave.

Pimple Leave. Very reasonable, right?

Obviously, I wouldn't have thought of this if I don't have one.

Well, actually, not one. I went to work today THREE huge, not to mention, RED zits on my left cheek! I even arrived at work 15 minutes late because I don't know how to use a stupid concealer. I'm a klutz when it comes to concealers. I know! That's why I'm ranting.

And wearing multiple layers of makeup is not an option.

But I digress.

So as I've said, there should be a Zit Leave. Wouldn't it be just easier to file a Zit Leave? I mean, you no longer have to lie about being sick just because you don't feel pretty and you don't want anyone seeing your face looking like a a bubble wrap. Seriously.

Plus, having a lot of pimples makes a task difficult. How can you work properly when you're looking down the whole time, hiding your face behind your hair? I don't care if anyone says, "Oh I don't care if I have a zit." Yeah, I don't care if you don't care. Stop reading this.

Just kidding.

Anyway, my point is, (to those who care) there are different kinds of leave; Sick Leave, Vacation Leave, and all that stuff. Isn't it time for a new one?

Hey boss, can't come in today. I'm calling in "zit."

This is a serious petition. Very, very serious.