a hate texter, my taste in men, and drunk tweeting

For about 3 days now, some girl has been texting me about ME trying to steal HER boyfriend. Like total hate texting. I barely know this girl. We just exchanged numbers because we have met a few times already and because we have 1 common friend. In short, I only know her by name. Or something.

So last weekend, I was in this social event and she was there too. With her "boyfriend" whose name I can't remember. Not to mention his face.

Okay.

It was not hard for me to ignore her texts (a) because I did not take them seriously, and            (b) because HELLO???! I don't know you, idiot. But I got curious so I asked our common friend what this girl's problem is and what the boyfriend looks like. My friend told me the girl's problem is the group pictures of us the guy had stored in his phone.

Let me repeat, GROUP pictures. Not even one solo picture of me.

So we were hanging out that day and apparently, the creep was taking our pictures. But again, GROUP pictures. I cannot understand why she thinks I was trying to steal her boyfriend. I did not even know he was taking our pictures. I was busy being crazy.

And according to my friend, the boyfriend looks like...

Wait for it...

A foot. (Exact description given by my friend).

Uhm, like this?

[CLIPART]

Okay, maybe not but excuse me, NOT MY TYPE.

So it got me thinking. What exactly is my taste in men? Of course, I don't like someone who looks like a foot. Have you met someone who looks like a foot?

Exactly.

So I thought of a few celebrity crushes I had over the years.

I'll mention some of them.

First, Drew Fuller. I really love his face. Just look at him and you'll understand. Also, I love his eyes. I haven't seen him in a while, though.

This second one is Lee Min Ho. He is a Korean actor. I like his eyes. And the hair, oh my goodness, LOOK! And he's kinda mysterious. I like that in a guy.

Now this is Kim Bum. He's also Korean. Yeah, I really like Asian eyes. I'm not normally into cute, adorable, good-boy faces but I can't help looking at him. He really is cute. And his smile? I'm telling you. He has better pictures but I'm lazy.

I discovered these 2 Korean guys' existence when I saw them in a TV series.

Mark Salling. I have a crush on his character (Noah Puckerman or Puck) in Glee, actually. I like his badass-ness. Really. He got my attention on this certain episode where he sang Sweet Caroline and played the guitar. Like, this dude is cool! Or hot! Whatever. If you can play the guitar or the drums and can sing? You're hot in my book. I had a crush on Rob Thomas (Matchbox Twenty) when I was in high school.

Lastly, look at this dude's body. His name is Piolo Pascual. He is a Filipino actor. He actually looks good. And he has nice teeth. He has better pictures but I chose this one because I want to you see his body.

Now, if my hate texter's boyfriend looks anything like the guys I just mentioned, maybe she should worry. Not that I'm gonna steal the guy. I'm not like that. She should worry about other girls.

I'm not really into physical qualities, though. Maybe just a little bit. But I'm more into a guy's personality, humor, if he makes sense when we talk, and stuff like that. But of course, he has to look presentable. Definitely not like a foot. But I was thinking. What if I see those good physical qualities that I just mentioned in one guy? What would he look like? I think I just created a picture of my future husband in my head. I'll pray for this one.

 

Or maybe not. I think I just created my own Frankenstein.

Damn! Shit! I'm gonna have nightmares about this.

God, you knew I was joking, right?

I promise, I'll be a good girl.

Just say you knew I was only joking.

So now what? DRUNK TWEETING! Yeah.

Saturday night, I tweeted these.

And then after a few minutes (or hours, I'm really not sure), I attracted 2 new Twitter (I can't believe I just typed Tweeter. WTF?) followers.

So I tweeted this:

Now, here's the big revelation.

I wasn't drunk.

I was just bored.