Sunday, June 6, 2010

The Awesome TV Shopping Network


(Imagine male chirpy/annoying advertiser voice.)

Do you want to be a blogger but you do not have anything exciting to talk about?

Is your head hurting just thinking about writing a few sentences?

Is your life too boring to share but you're not brilliant enough to make something up?

Do you experience nose bleeding when you try to force your brain to come up with a topic worth reading?

Worry No More!

WE HAVE THE PERFECT SOLUTION FOR YOU!!

INTRODUCING:
THE BLOGGENATOR!!!
"The Viagra For The Writer's Brain"


It works like magic. Just take it 1 hour before blogging and you will be able to come up with a perfect topic!

Not only that! You will be able to focus.

You will even be able to write about the things you never cared about before.

Like the tip of your shoelaces!

Or the amount of money people spend on tissue papers!

All amazing topics! In just one sitting!!!

All those amazing benefits for just $500.00 for 30 tablets!!
I repeat. $500.00!!!

The Bloggenator comes with a free medicine bottle so you can put your tablets inside the bottle instead of just holding all 30 pills in your hands for 1 month!

Isn't that amazing?

Call now! Dial 1-800-BLOGGENATORATORATOR

AND YOU WILL GET THE AWESOME

BLOGGENATOR!!!

BUT WAIT!

THERE'S MORE!!!

Call within the first 5 minutes and you will get a free bubble wrap!

Bubble wraps are useful especially when you are having a hard time with stuff that you want to bang your head on the wall.

Just put the bubble wrap around your head and you will not get hurt!!!

Amazing!!!

CALL NOW FUCKERS!

USER TESTIMONIALS:

DRUG ADDICT:

HOBO:




Note: I'd like to thank some blog friends. You know who you are!!! Thank you.

Also, I will be celebrating my birthday on June 11th. Honestly, I don't want it to come. I feel like I just had a birthday last week. I'm honestly slightly freaking out. Oh well.

Do you know why I'm telling you this? So you'll greet me. Hahaha.

I love you guys!!!

31 comments:

  1. Hahahaha... you are just crazily funny..... awesome

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  2. ROFLMAO! You crack me up! I want some Bloggenator!

    Nice illustrations by the way, you awesome creature! ;p

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  3. I'll take ten packs please, thanks! Being both dumb and hungover, I'd appreciate it if you could deliver them quickly.

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  4. I want those! I want those!

    Hey, do you sell any brains like yours? Because yours is really one of a kind! Where in the world did you get an idea like that?

    You are really awesome!

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  5. Sign me up! But then I might get hooked on them. And then I'll be a drug addict. Damn.

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  6. I can't wait for your birthday :D it's a great day -- not sure what I'd do without my gnetchy :0p!

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  7. Obviously you took your own pills. Hehe ... But looks like they're working. I'll get some so I can fire my ghost writing team (I'll keep the joke writing department though). Well done, Gnetch, you're the best :-)

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  8. Umm, so i tried to call and order a few packs, but the number seems to be out of order...maybe you could put in a good word to fix it? Thanks, I have had super bad bloggers block lately and I truly think these will help me. :)

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  9. Hilarious!You made my day!

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  10. Will it work just as Viagra for 6 hours straight???? I predict long and numerous post!

    And, the coundown begins: 5 days left! woho.. birthdays are fun!!!!

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  11. EVERYONE: Thanks guys! Glad I made you laugh.

    Johanna: Call the 1-800 hotline. ☺

    TbR: You're in no way dumb. You're just hungover. Haha! And yes, it will be delivered quickly. Like call now and it will be delivered in 5 minutes!!!

    Mitch: I don't sell my brain. Haha. And someone has already offered to hire me to live in her brain. ☺

    Margaret: It's okay to be a Bloggenator addict. It's safe.

    Tyla: Aw thank you. I love you Ty!

    Sam: It's probably just busy. Too many customers. Try again. Haha.

    Carina: Well, it works for 12 hours! Can you believe how awesome it is? LOL
    And I hope my birthday would be fun. :(

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  12. hey gnetch, you're one BRILLIANT girl. they should give you an award or something like that. I've been thinking of buying 3 bottles. you see, i haven't blogged lately and this is truly wonderful solution to my stupid writer's block.

    and....happy birthday!!! so, where's the party?

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  13. This looks like an awesome drug. I want some, like, yesterday.

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  14. I want one!!! My brain hurts just thinking about what to write in a comment...which is why my blog is suffering. Sometimes I just draw stupid pictures to replace thinking and being funny.

    Love your blog!

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  15. save 5 boxes for me brilliant gal! I want that pill, I want that pill!

    And one thing more, hmmm do you have a pill for MR weather so he would make up his mind?

    You're awesome.

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  16. Sold. I called that number and the lady told me to take off my pants. Weird huh? I mean, I did it... I need those pills.

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  17. Sadako: Seven bottles??? That would be $3500. (Damn, I did math again. Now I'm hungry!)

    Jan: Haha! I saw the Nobel Prize you gave me! Fawesome!

    David: You should've called the hotline! Do you still need it now?

    Twist: Thank you. I saw your blog and your drawings. Ahaha. I love the baby drawing.

    Sey: That would be $2500. I haven't found the cure to straighten up Weather's brain though. Which is sad.

    Dr. Heckle: What lady? All them are dudes!

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  18. Does the price cover shipping?I need so,quick! LOL you crack me up so good hehehe

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  19. Why the FUCK wasn't I involved in the making of this new FDA UN-approved drug????

    Damnit I want stock in this bitch!

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  20. Thanks but no thanks. I'm blogging a lot and smoothly lately, thank you very much? Anyone furry slippers maybe? :P

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  21. BAHAHAHHAA how do you even come up with this stuff? Seriously, Gnetch, that hobo pic made my day!

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  22. There had BETTER be free bubble wrap.

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  23. Holy shit! I need some of that! New follower here. I found you on CB's site and had to stop by! So effing glad I did!

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  24. Sweta: Yes it does. Haha. Thanks!!!

    Ashley: It was actually a surprise, bitchy. Now we're ready to take over the world. Haha.

    MLK: I think they do offer furry slippers. Call the toll-free number. ☺

    Andhari: Thank you!! My sister LOVES to watch those silly TV shopping programs. So I decided to make fun of it.

    LiLu: Of course. ☺

    Random Blogette: Haha. Thanks so much!!! ☺

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  25. I have no idea why, but I am so utterly amused that the hobo has a Mac. Of everything in this, that kind of makes me die of happiness. Love love love.

    And, happy birthday (1 day early)!

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  26. The pills are working fine but I've got dyssynergic defaecation now. Can I have my money back ? Thanks in advance and a very happy birthday :-D

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  27. Bored with serious blog posts? Seen too many pictures on blogs? Too many health and fashion advices?

    You need a break.

    Come and check out "Gnetch's" blog.

    It promises craziness, fun, and laughter start to finsh.

    And this is not it. It comes with a bonus offer. Read her blogs and she showers commets and awards...Absolutely Free!! Yes. Absolutely Free!!

    So dun wait and open up your computers and visit her

    Howz that ;-)

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