Monday, September 20, 2010

This is not a porn site but... Okay! What the hell, right?

From experience, I know how disappointing it is when Google leads you to the wrong site every time you search for something very important such as:

I know the feeling.

And because of that, I have come up with an IDEA so that you, who Google random stuff and end up on my blog, won't be disappointed.

Because I don't want anyone to get disappointed.

Also, because it's almost Christmas, I'll give you what you want. Whatever it is you're looking for, you'll find it here.

But first of all, those who have been Googling these:
You are in the right place.

So here we go with the rest:

1.
Keywords:








Judging by these keywords, I think you want some solution to your relationship problems. And because I'm not violent AT ALL, this is what I've come up with:

Whatever problem you have with your partner, whether he is forgetful or you're just PMS-ing, this is the best, non-violent revenge solution I can give you.

2.
Keywords:






Now, judging by these keywords, I think you're looking for a porn site so I decided to give you a male porn star/director. He looks creepy so I think he's what you're looking for.


I hope you're not disappointed to see that black bar. It's super necessary because his pants are so disgustingly tight and I don't want you to lose your appetite.

Plus, a little mystery won't hurt anyone.

3.
Keyword:



This, I think, is the weirdest keyword of all. Not only are you Googling for a whore when you can just find one anywhere, but also, you prefer an edentulous one.

You have weird tastes. But to each his own. Who am I to judge?

So here she is:

You're welcome.

30 comments:

  1. Too funny!! I love search engine terms.

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  2. Hahaha.. this is hilarious! You're so talented, I could enjoy your drawings every day :-D

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  3. LOL on the 3rd picture...I no teeth, I kiss good....I am wondering what would happen to the man who will go out with her....yaiks.

    Love the pictures. :)

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  4. hahhaha! the third pic is so damn funny. can't get over with it hahahha!!

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  5. I would probably be less inclined to believe these are legit keywords that got you hits to this site if you didn't provide pictures. Lol.

    But don't worry about these people. They tend to only stay on a site for, like, 5 seconds max. They have the attention spans of gnats on speed.

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  6. o thou art Father in Heaven!

    O thou art Father in Heaven!

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  7. Lol guess those keywords might actually make sense in crazy town. I gotta clear my history before someone who uses my computer thinks I was looking for a edentulous whore.
    Funny post!

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  8. I like the pervy director. They really do look like that.

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  9. Hey, give the people what they want, right? And what Googlers want is sketchy porn directors with censored bars. I mean, I didn't google any of the above keywords and I STILL wanted to see that skeevy mustache.

    Seriously though, HILARIOUS. I am in some kind of love with his tiny sunglasses.

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  10. oh Gnetchy,uou make me pee my pants EVERY FUCKIN' TIME. LOL

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  11. Are you ready for some endogeniety? (Love that word) Here we go:

    Every time you post something like this, it increases the likelihood of someone winding up at your site because of these exact things. The more times you post about it, the more google thinks this is what your site is legitimately about, the more searches will be directed here.

    BAM! Mind: blown.

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  12. I don't think you should have put the black bar in - people who google 'can ifuck you tonight it would be great' deserve to have their appetite squashed. Also, the people who google 'fucrk' are probably drunk, and so would regret fucrking anyone the next day, and so they'd probably thank you for ruining their appetite, in the long run.

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  13. Oh, I needed this today :D Thanks for cheering me up!
    I have "shiny fetish" and "rose pink call girl" in mine...go figure!

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  14. That's it Gnetch I'm going to spend some time and see what messed up search terms get me to you're site

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  15. Em, MKL, Sey, Jan, B, Israel, Im No Miss, Sweta- Thank you guys!!! ♥

    Christina- I do think they last not longer than 5 seconds. So to keep them from disappointment, I did them a favor. :D

    Ratzy- That's the BEST reaction ever!! I love it! HAHAHA!

    Mike- Yes, you totally should.

    Nicki- Thank you! I should have made him more muscle toned in case the Googlers want him like that! Haha.

    David- Guess what? I'm aware of that. Also? I know that Google crawler doesn't recognize text in images. That's why I always upload screen shots of the keywords instead of writing them down. Not that I care though. I find these keywords amusing, actually. And it's E before the I in endogeneity. You're welcome. :)

    TbR- No, dear. This is a rated PG blog. Black bars are necessary. Plus, you might tell my mom about this, so no. And yes, I think those who Googled fucrk are drunk. Or maybe they're high on something.

    Ria- You're welcome. Everything okay? Email me, girl. Oh! "Rose pink call girl" is quite interesting. Wait...

    Wolfy- Tell me what you found!!

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  16. google thought i typed in cocksucker one night, but i was totally trying to type in fluffernutter. soo it's not my fault google thinks im a perv. it's totally someone else's.

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  17. Hey thanx for posting on my website. I'm open on weekends. Come again! :)

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  18. You know what Gnetch, i can't think anymore of words to say how really genius you are! That's is so unfair! You got all the awesomeness! :b

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  19. Great idea, and some truly weird search terms!

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  20. Hi ...
    I am here for the Asian Porn.
    When will you be taking nude
    pictures ?
    Thank you !
    ;-)

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  21. Loved it! I am always amazed at what people search for to come to our site. "How to paralyze someone" was the weirdest.

    Funny drawings!!

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  22. Haha I think I am going to use that non-violent act on my partner the next time I am pmsing and want to throat punch him!

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  23. Ty- Google can be so judgmental at times. Haha!!

    Israel- Hey, no biggie! Your blog is cool. :)

    Mitch and Paul- Thanks, guys.

    Maxy- You want nude pictures? I'll think about it. You want Horatio's nude picture?

    The Guys- Ha! How to paralyze someone?? That's so inappropriate for your blog!

    Stephanie- Yes, you should! Throat punching is too violent! ;P

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  24. Jees-a-loo (which is a made word I like to use that drive my boyfriend insane) that is some oddball keywords!!! haha, people are weird.. not so mention, what are good sending these searches to our sight? The poor searcher must be super disappointed..

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  25. ahahah i just love how the edentulous whore has a muffin top. so good.

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  26. I laughed so hard I almost peed on myself! Nice porn-stache.

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  27. hahahahahahahaha
    I love random searches that lead to my blog!
    Two great ones recently were:

    1. labia meance
    and
    2. wife who soaket her own pants

    So that's a good indicator of my contribution to society

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  28. Wonderful blog! I found it while searching on Yahoo News. Do you have any tips on how to get listed in Yahoo News? I’ve been trying for a while but I never sbo
    seem to get there! Many thanks.

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