This is not a porn site but... Okay! What the hell, right?

From experience, I know how disappointing it is when Google leads you to the wrong site every time you search for something very important such as:

I know the feeling.

And because of that, I have come up with an IDEA so that you, who Google random stuff and end up on my blog, won't be disappointed.

Because I don't want anyone to get disappointed.

Also, because it's almost Christmas, I'll give you what you want. Whatever it is you're looking for, you'll find it here.

But first of all, those who have been Googling these:

You are in the right place.

So here we go with the rest:

1.

Keywords:

Judging by these keywords, I think you want some solution to your relationship problems. And because I'm not violent AT ALL, this is what I've come up with:

Whatever problem you have with your partner, whether he is forgetful or you're just PMS-ing, this is the best, non-violent revenge solution I can give you.

2.

Keywords:

Now, judging by these keywords, I think you're looking for a porn site so I decided to give you a male porn star/director. He looks creepy so I think he's what you're looking for.

I hope you're not disappointed to see that black bar. It's super necessary because his pants are so disgustingly tight and I don't want you to lose your appetite.

Plus, a little mystery won't hurt anyone.

3.

Keyword:

This, I think, is the weirdest keyword of all. Not only are you Googling for a whore when you can just find one anywhere, but also, you prefer an edentulous one.

You have weird tastes. But to each his own. Who am I to judge?

So here she is:

You're welcome.