Thursday, August 25, 2011

WARNING: This post is brought to you by PMS

So you know how sometimes (Yes. Just. Sometimes.) women go through weird moods that even the smallest things make them stabby, like, they could just give you THAT look and you would know that you should shut up because you are fully aware what's likely to happen to you if you try to be a smart ass?

Only, they'd actually be too lazy to move to hit you.

So here are a few things that sort of triggered my PMS the past few days.

1. Tiny droplets of urine in public bathrooms. There's nothing more frustrating than seeing droplets of pee on the toilet seat JUST when you're about to sit. I don't even have to explain this. I mean, come on! HOW gross could you get that you can't even wipe your own pee? And how do you pee anyway?

2. People in their early 20s who keep complaining about being old. I repeat. BEING OLD. Okay, what? Sure. You ARE old. You're actually starting to wither. Oh look! You're getting wrinkles! You might need diapers tomorrow. Sorry.

3. When someone chooses to come up with a lie when the truth isn't even that bad and SO not worth it to lie about or it would have caused the same result so they should have just been honest in the first place- like, at least you won't look stupid in front of them.

4. Reverse emoticons*. This is making me crazy. I can't even contain it so I had to rant it on Facebook! Where else?

No. Really. Why is it reversed?

Let me give you an example. If you write something like:

My dad bought a unicorn that farts fire. :)

Instant reaction: Awww... They are happy!!!

But if you write it like this:

My dad bought a unicorn that farts fire. (:

Reaction: Ow. Unicorns that fart fire make them sad. No, wait. That's actually a smiling emoticon!!!
This is disturbing in so many levels.
See my point? It's like you're playing with my emotions. That's not super nice.

5. People in public transportation who sing along with their iPod like they think they sound like the singer when they really sound horrible and ALSO those who talk too loud in public transportation. NO ONE ELSE WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT WHAT YOU DO TO MAKE YOUR HAIR AWESOMELY CURLY! And no, your hair is not awesome at all. It smells like dog skin.

This list could go on and on and on and on and on but I'd like to keep this light.

So yeah, I'm PMS-ing.

Last year, I received this drawing from Nino. This is how he interpreted my PMS.

But to make it more accurate, it's like, on a pissed-off scale of 1 to Chris Brown** (Chris Brown being the extreme, obviously), I am borderline Kanye West.

Which is a good thing.

Sort of.

And yes, I deliberately gave effort to explain my hatred for that emoticon.

Somehow inspired by:

Monday, August 8, 2011

A new nemesis, new job, revenge, and me being inspirational and stuff.

So seriously, I know it's been like a month since my last post but you know, I'm a busy girl!!! Don't look at me like that!

If you remember my last post about me needing a new job... Well? I got a job! I mean, I got another job. So now I have two-and-a-half jobs. But who wouldn't hire me with that last post? Seriously! With those secret talents I revealed? Who could say no, right? (Actually, that post had nothing to do with my new job.)

Wait. Don't worry. This is not a let-me-explain-my-absence kind of post. No! Okay. A little bit. Don't judge.

For the whole month of July, Blogger won't let me post! Remember what happened like a couple of months ago when Blogger's post editor won't stop loading?

It's happening again!!! Not a cool story, bro!

My new nemesis.
Can't a girl be happy for once, dammit!!!! (No. Seriously.)

So since I've been itching to update my blog for the past few weeks, I decided to download Windows Live Writer, which I tried using but after I finished writing, I found out that it's not really that effective because for some reason, it won't publish the post on my blog so now I'm back to using this Blogger's post editor, which apparently works if you disconnect and reconnect your Internet except that you won't see the icons at the top of the post editor.

But Blogger can kiss my ass.

I just love run-on sentences!

So anyway, I have managed to finish a few very inspirational and meaningful drawings while I was away.

Because I know it's my mission to inspire people.

So here you go.

Someone should pay me with this next one: A Stand Against Brain Abuse poster.

I'd like to call this next one, "The Uninvitation".

Because some bitches just don't get it.

Anyway, about my new job? It's a work-at-home kind of thing that has something to do with "creative writing". At least that's what the employer calls it.

And you know what's good about working at home?

You don't need to worry about your dress or your makeup, or what other people might say about what you're wearing.

You can work looking like this:

I think I'm going to keep this look. Very fashion-y!

But I hope I get paid for all those articles! I mean, trying to stay away from blogs and Twitter was a huge sacrifice. I actually had a Twitter withdrawal. And I need that money. Badly! So.

Okay, okay. I know this post should die in a fire but I'm a ninja so I can do whatever I want.

UPDATE: I got paid!!!!
That's all. :)