Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Annoying Things People Do On Facebook And How To Stop Them

I can't tell you how much it bothers me when people keep sending me neighbor requests on FarmVille or whatever the fuck they call it.

Well, actually, it doesn't bother me that much. I'm just trying to exaggerate stuff for your entertainment. I told you, I love you like that!

But, but, but!!!

There was this incident that really sort of annoyed me. This has happened months ago. I just thought I had to tell you because this is pretty... well, uhm... entertaining....?

So I got a friend request from this person so I accepted it. Then she wrote this on my wall: 

"Hi Gnetch. Thanks for the friend request," (or something like that.)

That was a total "wait-what?" situation! You added me and then you thanked me for adding you?


At that moment, I really wished there was a "Hello?" button on Facebook but NOOOO! There was only the "Like" button.

I don't know how I suddenly remembered this incident. But of course, this led me to...

Wait for it!!!


IdeaS, actually.

I know, right????

But let me just add one more annoying thing that people do on Facebook.


Seriously, what is that for? Can anyone tell me?! I simply don't understand its purpose. Why don't you just write on people's walls? It's not that hard. My wall is like a freedom wall. You can write me anything, no one would mind. If you don't have anything to say, you can just write a smiley face. I will take it as you are smiling at me or maybe you're just saying "hi" in a creepy way. But still, I would know what you wanted to say.

But poking? Especially from people who don't even add you? Ew.

So anyway, here are a couple of the ideas that will surely make Facebook awesome again.

The Strangle Button

The Stab Button.

I'm thinking about E-mailing Mark Zuckerberg about this but I don't want him to think we're super friends already.

(Peace, Mark Zuckerberg. I'm a very nice person. According to my mommy.)

Basically, I'd like the buttons on Facebook to look like this:

Awesome, right?

In a very related note, this is my most recent Facebook "Poker."

I'm sure you understand my pain.


And now, in a not so related, but still quite awesome note: WHAT IS TAKING YOU SO LONG? SEND ME YOUR PICTURES ALREADY!

I only have 5 so far.

Invitation Designed by Tyla Kells


  1. That guy who poked you looks like a real creeper......errr I mean keeper, yeah that's it. I'm sure he's real popular with the ladies.

    Great ideas for Facebook, I have a account on their but I never use it I find the damm thing annoying especially the whole "poking" thing WTF is that crap.

  2. Bwahahahahahahha!!! OMG Gnetchy Gnetch... this is so effin funny... and i am in my office... m sure you can understand my pain now.. it's really difficult not to laugh when i am reading your awesome posts.... and it would be a crime if i dont laugh at all... so either you have to cut down your sarcasm.. or i have to stop reading ur posts in my office.... this is just fab... I understand your long going battle between FB.. and Twitter... if i can add... hehehehe.. all the best with the battle though... who is tat person? the poker!!

  3. A strangle button is most definitely necessary. I'd quite like a "I JUDGE YOU" button too, for all those people who shouldn't be allowed near keyboards.

  4. Hahahaha. So true Gnetch so true. =) I was actually going to post something similar about this topic but you stole it outta my mind. I guess great minds think alike

  5. My favorite Facebook antic is the "suble bragging comment" disguised as a casual remark. I got reunited with an old friend I hadn't spoken to in a billion years and I noticed she left comments like " Just enjoying the vacation with MY DOCTOR HUSBAND (emphasis added) or You know your family loves you when THEY SEND A LIMO TO PICK YOU up thank you so and so (emphasis again) I'm thinking of doing a bit on this topic when I return to stand up. What do you think of this premise?

  6. /Poke!
    /Pull finger out and feed it to the corcodiles.
    Just sayin :p
    Ooooooh and the punch button!!!Yessss!!!
    And there should be a dude shut up already button too!
    Ummm... So if you email Mark... Let me know so I can email him the same thing (spammer?noooo :p)

  7. Poke wars can be sort of amusing... sometimes.

  8. I think you're onto something with the strangle button. We also need a "DO NOT WANT" button :)

  9. I wish there was a stab option on facebook. So many people would be stabbed.

  10. I so totally love those buttons hahaha! Would love to have those on facebook. You are sooo genius Gnetch hehehe!

  11. hahahahahahhahaha

    that's why i don't add people i don't know in facebook.

    especially that thanks for the adding me as a friend

    is that how friendship works now??? request and accept.

    funny. maybe that poker guy likes you lol

  12. Poking is the most evil of things Facebook dbags can ever do. Luckily, people know better than to poke me. I'll hunt them down and beat them to death with sticks of dynamite.

    And I keep forgetting about the vodka and ice cream party. Damn.

  13. If the poker would look like that then I would suggest you add more suggestions to Mark. Common' email him now as I also want those buttons on Facebook. it would be real fun.

  14. I also have the same question about poking. I don't know what it's all about and why the heck they ever thought of that. i encourage you to email mark zuckerberg about the "fuck you" thing. I think it's a great idea! What if you don't like the post and you're too tired to write "shut up" or "f. y." in the comment box? so might as well add a very accessible "fuck you" button. I'd like that! hahaha! And oh, strangle, punch and stab are equally awesome.

  15. Wolf: He does look like a (cr)keeper! Actually, I'm having fun with Facebook. Told you, I'm just exaggerating stuff for entertainment purposes!! HAHA

    Ratzy: Aw, glad I made you laugh! I don't know who that poker is. We're not friends on FB. We have 1 common friend though.

    TbR: Ha! That's a good idea. I promise to add it when I e-mail Mark. (First name basis. Hell yeah!!)

    Mel: Oooohhh... Great minds. ♥

    Israel: Oh, yeah. That's really annoying! Braggarts don't need punch/stab buttons. There's a "Remove Friend" option for them. :)

    Ria: I knew someone's gonna poke me after this post!! Haha! Yes, a "Dude Shut Up Already" button is a good idea too!

    Ashton: Poke wars? Punch wars would be better. It's gonna be like Facebook boxing.

    Emily: Haha. Good one. Mark Zuckerberg should really see this post and these comments!!!

    Faux Trixie: Virtual stabbing could be more fun than poking, right??

    Mitch: Thanks!!

    Hotcakes: I don't know that poker. We have 1 friend in common. I don't know how to set that poking thing to "friends only." And yes, "thanks for the add" on FB is really lame.

    Christina: Send me the picture already!!! *angry Asian face*

    Sey: I will. Soon.

    Jan: I know, right?? A "fuck you" button is a good idea. And it has to be in upper case. It's like yelling. :D

  16. I love those ideas for buttons but there'd be a lot of dead people. I get stabby easily

  17. I love this! You need to seriously contact Mr. Facebook and propose to him what you have just written! Lol. =)

  18. A "helloo??!" button would be handy. Haha!

  19. but you love the Wizards!

  20. I understand your pain on the facebook poking!! I have been in a poking war for 3.5 years. I know what you are thinking.. umm why don’t you just stop. Well it was easier for me to poke them back like once a month and avoid awkward conversations with them. You do not need to send a message to talk to the person who pokes you. I don’t know if guys think that it really means flirting though too because I am sorry if I was flirting with a guy in real life and he effing poked me I would push him down and spit on him (okkkayy a lil far?) Its just a stupid thing.

  21. After reading this.. i realized that:

    Poking somebody who doesn't like you isn't so cool at all. And i just had a thought of stopping myself from doing it over and over.

    Thanks for educating me.

  22. HA HA HA!! This is such an awesome post LMAO, i totally agree about poking wtf is it there for, i hate it when someone pokes me and then goes why havn't you poked me back and don't get me started on farmville!!
    found you on the group we love comments on 20sb.
    lovin your bolg!! :)

  23. Fuck You button is the best rofl!!!!!

    Tyla did a darn good job!

  24. You should totally email MZ about all those buttons.And they'll see how Facebook rises,just HOW!

  25. Best Kept: But they would only be virtually dead. ;p

    Eureka: I did. He ignored my email. I think he thinks he's someone important. LOL

    I'm No Miss: Yes! Totally!!

    Ty: If a FB friend is a tool, we can just unfriend them. Haha.

    Big Show: He's not a wizard!

    Stephanie: Haha. If someone considers poking flirting, then he needs to get over himself this instant, right??

    Fly: That's the moral of this story, actually. :)

    PrincessBeks: Thank you for passing by. Also, farmville requests are the worst.

    Zac: That button would probably be the most useful button on Facebook. And Tyla is super awesome!

    Dr. Heckle: I won't. I don't think someone like me has the right to poke someone of his high social standing.

    Sweta: I know! These buttons are the best! :)

  26. You are so creative, Facebook should give you a job! :P Awesome post, Gnetchy! :)

  27. I dont understand the purpose of poking either.. its stupid!

  28. MKL: They totally should! :)

    Keisha: I know, right?

  29. Personally, I HATE the farmville ect. request! It's like, be as nerdy as you want on your own tome but don't you dare waste my time on it!!!

    I like all your additions to the I like button... Hopefully Marky is a regular reader of this blog ;)

  30. Hahaha.. I would love to see a stab and punch button on FB :))

  31. I used to hate getting neighbor requests! But now I love 'em! LOL However, being poked or being asked to send gifts is irritating! My cousin ping-ed me one early morning asking for a Puppy Kibble! And she desperately needs it! WTF!

    And I'm with you for the 'strangle' button! Count me in, sister! ;p

    P.S: Loving your illustrations...making me crack up! ;p

  32. I don't think i've responded to a poke in four years. it's so annoying! if you want to contact someone, send them a message or write on their wall or something! don't be a passive poker

  33. I LOVE the strangle button! get that shit going. I don't understand weird people who add you and you don't even know them and even if you did know them you know that you would never be their friend in real life because their name is "DBoy" and their form of flirtation or whatever is "poking" you on facebook. DBoy, if you tried that shit in real life I would kick. your. ass.
    haha great post :D

  34. Do you think you can get and STD from FB poking?

  35. Ha ha, this post is so funny and true.

    However, a believe just a dislike button would do facebook justice.

  36. Haha ! Amazing post, love the suggestions for the buttons ! :D

  37. HAHA!! love your ideas about how to create the new FB buttons!! you're awesome!! please submit them to FB!!! please!!!! I'm begging you!! :))