Friday, July 9, 2010

What Twitter Needs

I have a suggestion to Twitter on how to get rid of the Fail Whale!!!

I'm that smart. See?

To all those who doesn't have Twitter, this is the Fail Whale.

When the Fail Whale appears, we won't be able to tweet for like 5-10 minutes. Sometimes, even longer. There are times that we can't even sign in!

It is really a pain in the ass, especially when your brain just gave you a 140-character sentence that you wanted to share to the world so you will try to sign in but Twitter won't allow you because "Twitter is over capacity," and you will try to refresh and refresh and refresh and refresh again, but the Fail Whale is still there and by the time you are able to sign in, you have forgotten what you were going to tweet!!!

See? There's a personal issue between Twitter and me.

It happened to me last week!!! So I used Facebook to release by frustration.

But Facebook went behind my back. I'm pretty sure Facebook told Twitter what I did because the next day, I found out that my entire @ page (a.k.a mentions) was gone!!! So guys, all your tweets for me just disappeared!

I'm sure Twitter said this: "Since you are so angry that we are always over capacity, we will delete all your tweets, you bitch! Take that, mofo!" And so my mentions were deleted.

Pretty mean, right? I also think that Twitter secretly reads my blog because they know how to get back at someone the non-violent way

So, due to that unfortunate incident, I have decided to make it up to Twitter. (Guys, I just want to let you know that I'm not really sincere in apologizing to Twitter but let's pretend that I am. Just don't go behind my back like  Facebook did, okay?)

♥ ♥ ♥ I'm sorry Twitter ♥ ♥ ♥. 

See? I even added little hearts! I'm that good!!!

And to make it up to you, Twitter, I have a suggestion!!!

Instead of forcing the little birdies to carry the Fail Whale, why don't you just hire this guy and clone him:

It will be easier for them to carry the Fail Whale because they are much stronger than the birds!!!

Only, you might eventually need to change your name from Twitter to BeefyTer.

It sounds weird but we will all get used to it.

♥ ♥ ♥ SUPER HEART ♥ ♥ ♥

So guys, do you think Twitter bought that? Seriously? But that's an awesome idea, right?


Anyway, I have a weird pervy follower on Twitter.

This next one is his tweet to the other people he's stalking.

Okay. So to Loverguye, your tweets are horrible. Not to mention the grammar and spelling. Are you using your toes when typing???

Do you want to see more of this perv's tweets??? It's here. I will totally expose all mofos on this blog from now on!!!

I got the picture of the man with enormous muscles here.


  1. I think Twitter, Facebook & Myspace are all in it together. Ha. But I hate Twitter and refuse to get one. It's annoying, LOL.

  2. Haha :)Damn funny.. beefyter sounds good :))

  3. "BeefyTer."

    I read that as "Beef Eater."

    Like the Tower of London guys.

  4. Hahaha.... No matter wat you say Gnetchy... Twitter sucks and sucks bad..... Dont apologise....

  5. Well, Twitter has this secret rating system of its users ... Swearing people, annoying people, bank robbers, badass asians and whale hunters get the fail whale once in a while to teach them a lesson :-) I think some priests are behind the system in their quest for world peace.
    Great post, Gnetchwoman, you made me lol :-)

  6. That's HILARIOUS they got back at you. They're definitely reading your blog :)

  7. HAY YOU BOOBS! That guy sounds like a creepy European perv. I'd keep a watch on him and his sleazy ways...

  8. wahaha, great idea with the muscle man clones. can practically guarantee shorter downtimes with them..

  9. yup, I hate that Fail Whale too! That maybe the reason why I can't find you on Twitter lately..

    Your follower @loverguye.. I was really curious so I click "here" ha-ha-ha-ha!

  10. are you trying to start a war with Max on my blog hooker????

    I hate that goddamn 'fail whale'!

    Just because of this post, Twitter is going to start using Justin Beiber to hold up the whale! :/

  11. I wonder if Loverguye will mind if I steal some of his lines? He's got pretty good game, you gotta admit that. I might try some of those lines on Crazy B!

  12. You could also call WWF for the fail whale. It's in danger if it appears once more when I'm trying to taaaaalk.
    Have a fail whale-free weekend!

  13. All of my @ replies disappeared too! Twitter is a bitch! And that stalker guy is creepy! What a perv!

  14. Twitter ,and Facebook suck balls !
    I had seen your link Gnetch.
    I will get you when you least expect it !
    Muhahahahaha !

  15. I'm waiting for a big event such as Obama getting attacked my birds and you can be sure Twitter will be crashed in 1 min and be down for a day. Somehow they can't make it work right. And more and more ppl wanna tweet. It just won't work, I fear. Btw, the replies @ me were also deleted, maybe Twitter saw me comment here and punished me for your sins ;)

  16. I don't think they bought it, because they still go for the birds hauling the giant whale ass around.
    And BTW: that tweeting guy is a complete douchcanoe.

    .. i just learned that word, but felt it fit.
    (How effin' lucky am I?!)

  17. I think Twitter is how the machines are going to try to take over the world,it's fucking evil. If I see a giant fucking whale come to my door looking for Sarah Conner I'm going to be pissed....then tell it go to my ex wife's house.

  18. Ashton: I just started using Twitter last Feb. Sometimes I love it. Most of the time, well, I just don't know what to do with it. :D

    evanescentthoughts: I know right? We are going to get used to it in no time!!!

    Margaret: Oh, yeah. They do sound alike!!! Haha.

    Ratz: I know it sucks. But, well, I can't really defend it. I just need it for my blog. Don't tell Twitter I said that!!!

    Em: That's what I thought too! :D

    Sami: Haha! He's so definitely a perv!!!

    Connie: Connie! How are you???? Yes, I think hiring those muscle man clones would shorten Twitter downtime!

    Sey: I have a Twitter button on my sidebar girly!!! But looks like you found it already since we are now Twitter friends! :)

    CB: Yes, I am slut! I think it's fun to start a fight with Max Evel!!! You know, for our world domination plan, we have to take on Evel!!!
    You bitch just gave Twitter another idea to get back at me big time!!! No Justin Bieber please!!! I will burn Twitter down! :/

    Sage: I don't think Loverguye would mind. Though I think CB will kill you if you did. :p

    Ria: No!!! WWF is asking me for money to save the whales!! So I'll stay away. Haha.

    Random: Really? I thought it was only me!!! I was bitching about it on Twitter! And yes, Loverguye is a perv! I hope he gets STD.

    Max Evel: Well, yeah, they do! Haha. And I'll be ready. You can never beat me Max Evel!!!

    MKL: I guess Twitter did punish you for my sins!!! I'm sorry about that. So! How can we get back on Twitter?! Don't just stand there!!! We have to do something!!!

    Jessica: Douchcanoe!!! That's an awesome word. And it did in fact fit! Can I steal that word? Would you mind?

    Wolf: Everyone says Twitter is fucking evil. And I couldn't agree more!!

  19. ...tweet on your phone or using some kind of tweeting app? rather than the website. much easier.

  20. Oh Gnetchy, always scrapping with somebody. You should be proud that Twitter hates you. It means you're on its radar - it's afraid. Next step world domination. Mwa ha ha.

  21. Max taps Gnetch on the shoulder...
    BOO !

    I scared ya didn't I ?

    Be afraid very afraid !
    I'm not sure what I am going to do...
    but I will do something.
    For now I rest !
    I'm lazy like that.

  22. Hahaha! You are really mad at twitter but i think they will thank you for your very bright Gnetchy idea hahaha! You're right, those birds can't pull that big whale up. Thumbs up girl!

  23. this loverguy sounds liek he had a lobotomy and it went TOTALLY wrong.

  24. It's a good thing you had the link where you got that photo of the muscle man. I was really gonna ask. Cause ewww his muscles were like balloons that will pop at needlepoint.

    Another brilliant idea Gnetch!

  25. oh you have another stalker..tsk, tsk.. i think he's totally insane. does any normal, functioning individual say/write things like that? block him up.

  26. ROFL. How do you know he's not the man of your "driemes?"

  27. I just laughed so hard that my spleen exploded. :P

  28. Working on the site ,and yep deleted the old posts .
    I am going to post your button in a few moments again.

  29. Katrina Kay: Thanks. :)

    TbR: Actually, world domination is my goal. But how did you know that???


    Mitch: Haha. Birds are too tiny to carry that whale!!!

    Tyla: That's what I thought!!! Great minds....

    Im No Miss: Oh too much muscle disgust me too!!! And thanks.

    Jan: Haha. No need. He has stopped. :)

    Dr. Heckle: He's probably the man of my neitmeyrsss.

    Oh wait.

    Christina: Aww, thank you.

    Max Evel: Why, Maxy. Whyyyyyy.....

  30. Gnetch!!! I'm blushing! thanks for the shout out :) and congrats on the awards. you look awesome up on stage, even with the bad lighting!

  31. HA! Love that dude's twitter. He's just anonymously and creepily hitting on anything he thinks might be a girl. probably also shows his dick on chatroulette