Thursday, February 25, 2010

UPDATED: whoa, you're not human!

Have you been bothered at work or school lately? Like someone there might not be human?

He/she could probably be MUTANT.

I know!

Let me provide you with the list of symptoms:

The MEGATRONIC HIPS:
When his/her stone-ish hips keep bumping your chairs so strong when walking and you get paralyzed from the waist down or you get thrown over the window because of the impact, that person is not human.



The INTENSITY 10,000 VOICEPOWER:
This is if you can hear his/her voice so clearly from the other room or even when you're in different elevators. Some people may view this as "oh, he/she is probably just too lazy to walk and talk to me," but no.... that's not it. He/she might break the solid floor if she takes even a single step. And that's when the INTENSITY 10,000 VOICEPOWER comes in handy.


The SUPERDYNAMICENERGY NINJA POWER:
When his/her energy is too irritating to bear but the person does not seem to be under any illicit energy boosting medication, that is another sign.




UPDATE: Also included in this category:
  • "The bitch that writes all that nasty shit on the bathroom walls about people!" - reminded to me by cupcake. ;D

The POWERCOUGH:
When he/she coughs and it sounds like somewhere around the world, there will be an EXPLOSION. Especially when he/she starts with the super loud "AHEM!" and you feel like you wanna cry inside like, "Oh no, people are gonna die..." and then the POWERCOUGH will come and you will be like "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO......" on the inside.




11 comments:

  1. I could totally be this mutant person. Awesome... So I guess there's more reason to walk around in colorful spandex!

    Dust off your Converse and let's go save the universe, Gnetch!

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  2. hahaha!!! this is hilarious!!! reminds me of a few co-workers I know of...not gonna name any names though :-)

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  3. um, i just want to point out that the "word verification" to post that comment was "satan" and thats really really scary.

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  4. Great take on it, girl! Haha :D I'll be sharing this post with my BF. Seems all his coworkers are mutant!

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  5. Bahaha super cool that apparently I meet so many mutants in my life. Seriously dude, like so many people I know have that super voicepower. SO LOUD.

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  6. Dude, are you fucking kidding me?

    I can't even BELIEVE you left out the bitch that writes all that nasty shit on the bathroom walls about people!

    Oh... wait... shit, that's me! Nevermind!

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  7. Hahahahha! I guess that voicepower thing makes a mutant then? Seriously, my mouth is just unstoppable. And my laugh? SUPER loud! Do I really have to embarrass myself like that?

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  8. CHRISTINA: Yeah, i told you, spandex is a good idea.

    Oh, before we save the universe, can I put on make up first? ;D

    BLOGGIN IN PA: A co-worker actually inspired this post. Ssshhh...

    And about the word verification thing, THAT. WAS. SCARY.

    V: Show him and let me know what he thinks!

    ANDHARI: Like they've swallowed a whole megaphone? Yeah, i've met people like that. LOL

    CUPCAKE: I totally forgot that. Haha. I should edit this thing and add it on the SUPERDYNAMICENERGY NINJA POWER!

    JESSICA: You could use your INTENSITY 10,000 VOICEPOWER to fight evil. Like those who steal pens and stuff.

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  9. I think it's only appropriate, I mean really. I don't like being left out of the spot light okay? I think I'd prefer to have my own category, something like...

    Crazy Bitch with Nothing Better To Do

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  10. Ive been suspicious that my landlord is a mutant for some time. WIll have to follow him around with a notepad for awhile looking for these symptoms, but I'm pretty sure his coughs cause tidal waves.

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