Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Another Great Idea: The MutantBerry!!!

As you know, I am currently in search for an awesome cell phone that is not a touch screen (because I fucking hate those things), does not have a Qwerty keypad (because I use Dvorak and also Qwerty keypad takes some getting used to and I'm too lazy for that), but is still current and would make me look cool.

But apparently, all the new phones available are either a touch screen or a Qwerty. Which sucks for me.

And because of that, I thought, I'll make another commercial. You remember the one I made about the Bloggenator? Well, now you do.

So anyway, here it is.

The MutantBerry!!!

The commercial model:

Voice Over (In a morning-talk-show-host-with-fake-enthusiasm kind of voice):   Worry no more!!! Now there's an awesome phone just for you!

INTRODUCING: The MutantBerry!!!

It is multiple awesomeness in one cell phone!!! It has ALL the features of a cool cell phone including MP3, Wi-Fi, and GPS, but it also has changeable keypad setting, DVD player, free Ricky Martin ring tones, celebrity sex scandals, and MANY MORE!!!

You can also use it as a lighter!!! HELL YEAH, smokers out there!!!

It also has more awesome hi-tech stuff that no other cell phone can offer such as:

But wait!!! There's more!!!

Are people around you being a bitch?

Do they bother you so much you want to strangle them and hang them in the ceiling?

Do you want to run them over but you don't have a car???

Worry no more!!
The MutantBerry also has a



CALL 1-800-MUTANTBERRY and be the coolest asshole ever!!!

Call within the first 5 minutes and you will get an awesome nail polish remover!!!

Not related but still, IT'S FREE!!!



  1. Sign me up for one of those, but does it have an attachment for shooting down police helicopters? I could use that......not sure why but I think it could be handy.

  2. Hahahaha I love this! You are awesome!

  3. Gnetch, It looks great, but it would even be better if it had a stun gun,
    or switch blade capabilities.

  4. Buwahahahahahahahah!!! I. WANT. THAT. PHONE!!!!

  5. I want this phone so bad that I almost for real dialed the number....see if you can get this made....like seriously...I have to have it.

  6. Ahmm, Gnetch how much does it weigh? Hehehe, i am worried that due to it's so many features plus that samurai, it's heavy. Well i know you have thought of that earlier coz you're clever right? So if it will not make my bag weigh more than my closet (because it does now hehehe) i am calling right away to get one hahaha!

  7. Oh my God, a phone that can be used as a lighter. How has this not been invented yet.

    You, my friend, are a genius. A GENIUS.

  8. hahaha.. you're so funny xD

    I had to laugh when I saw toothpaste. That was like wtf? :P Hey, how about you are my samurai and protect me and I just use a normal phone?

  9. That's awesome! I want one too! I'm wondering how much would it cost.

  10. You had me at "multiple awesomeness."

  11. Sweet!
    I just got a new phone. I wanted the Qwerty keyboard, but not one with a data plan. There's like 3 options. Lame

  12. Wolf- Yes it does. It has everything everyone needs!!

    Eureka- Aw, thank you!

    Maxy- It does have a stun gun. It's a secret feature actually.

    Jan- Haha! Order now!

    Chicken- I actually want it too. Like totally!

    Mitch- Ahmm... Haha. It weighs a ton actually. Because it also serves as a weight lifting device for those who want their muscles toned. I told you-- multiple awesomeness.

    TbR- Haha! Thank you. I ask that question too. How come it hasn't been invented?

    MKL- Well, considering my height, I don't think I'd be enough to protect you despite my superpowers. Wait. I think it's enough. Okay then.

    Sey- It's *cough* expensive *cough* very affordable.

    Heckle- And I thought I'd have you at "free celebrity sex scandals." I was wrong.

    BKS- This phone has no data plan. I promise!!! Haha.

    Midnight Driver- Thanks. :)

  13. The nail polish remover is such a great plus haha! I think that's a really catchy freebie LOL

  14. A Swiss Army PHONE? I think you're onto something... something will get you sued! Uh oh.

  15. LOL, now get onto patenting this already :)

    Touch screens are the downfall of modern day telecommunication!!

  16. LOL, now get onto patenting this already :)

    Touch screens are the downfall of modern day telecommunication!!

  17. LOL, now get onto patenting this already :)

    Touch screens are the downfall of modern day telecommunication!!

  18. I would totally buy it for the samurai feature. But I think when it upgrades, it should just upgrade to the Chuck Norris feature, that way nothing could ever trump the MutantBerry... ever. Because Chuck Norris is the shiz.

  19. Hate Blackberries but I want a mutant berry soo bad!

  20. ha ha ha ha... ultimate... i sud get one of those....:P

  21. lol sometimes I wonder if you're often really, really, REALLY bored! lol no offense! hahahaha

  22. LOL FUNNY! You're so creative ate G :D haha. Useful ha. xx

  23. Lol hell yeah I want one but only if it also comes with a free internet plan, that would be the most unbelievable feature yet.
    Really liking the way you do blog-siness. You're hired...err, followed!
    Thanks for stopping by my blog, appreciate it.

  24. hahaha :)) Samurai phone? that was too good :)

  25. Love it! If it makes you feel better I have a POS Motorola Rival that I can't even access the internet from. My stupid ass husband didn't want to pay the extra $30 a month for my media plan, so he bought me a crappy phone with a full keyboard. Jerkface!

  26. AWW it should def come with Ricky Martin ringtones!! That would make me the life of any party with a lil living la vida loca haha!! I hate how the phones out these days are so nuts. I refuse to get an Iphone or a crackberry just because I do not want to become dependant on technology. Sometimes I wish that I could go even one day without a cell phone but its like impossible!! My bf has an iphone and its like all he does now. He is always checking scores for sports or playing games. What happened to just texting and calling. I dunno technology bothers me lately.

  27. A Mutantberry! I'd love one!! Where can I get one? Right now I'm using a Nokia phone. I want the toothpaste and lighter features!! ;p

  28. LMAO!
    I love it!
    Back when camera phones came out I was complaining that a phone is not a camera! (It isn't)I told someone that if they wanted a useful phone it should come with a guitar tuner.
    The one I have does have a guitar tuner. It sucks, but it's still funny. A samurai sword would be awsome!

  29. I'm No Miss- Of course!! LOL

    BigShow- It's not gonna get me sued. I rule the world.

    Em- I don't understand why some people like touch screens. :)

    Christina- Oh yes. And you can totally upgrade it!

    Sadako- I don't like BlackBerries too.

    Sid- Totally!

    Carina- Well, girl... Yes. Haha!

    Deb- Little sister of the blogosphere! Haha. Thanks. And I should start getting used to calling you Deb now instead of Princess V!! :)

    Mike- Thanks. It does have an internet plan. It has all the awesomeness you'll ever look for.

    Evanescentthoughts- I knew people would like the samurai feature.

    Jayme- You can try to convince him to buy you a new phone. Tell him you want the one with a samurai feature! :D

    Stephanie- Technology bothers me too, lately. It's like it hates me for something I did in my past life! What? :O

    Johana- The toothpaste and lighter features are the most useful, i think!

    Jenny- A guitar tuner. Oh, my friend's Sony Ericsson and it has a guitar tutorial thingy. :)

  30. haha, i think i would buy that just for the gadgets. i wish my phone has that kinda stuff

  31. Gnetch ,my love,this is pure gold.GOLD.LOL

  32. i stumbled upon your page....and it's just AWESOME!!!! my side ached from laughing so much!!!! :D keep it up! :)

  33. Wonderful blog! I found it while searching on Yahoo News. Do you have any tips on how to get listed in Yahoo News? I’ve been trying for a while but I never sbobet
    seem to get there! Many thanks.