Monday, January 31, 2011

BLOBTHER

Warning: This post has crappy hand-drawn illustrations. You'll understand later. You're allowed to complain. I love you guys like that.

No. I'm kidding. You can't complain.

So.

My brother and I NEVER get along. We always find a way to argue about something. It's like our super powers clash all the time. He did not want to go to school. He doesn't have a job. He's been a bum since birth. And he's not willing to help with the chores too. So, now you know why.

He had a part-time job about 2 years ago but it wasn't because he wanted to help me with the expenses. OH GOD NO!! It was for him to save money to buy a desktop PC. He's addicted to online games and all that shit. After he bought his desktop, he started living the live of a sedentary blob. Yes. A. Fucking. Blob. Not that useful and NOT RECYCLABLE.

That's my sister's finger on the side. :)


Being the only one who's working (saving the world, punching douchebags, you know? The normal stuff?), it pisses the fuck out of me when the stupid evil in him comes out. Especially when my superpowers run out.


Despite the fact that he's lazy as hell (so, hell's lazy because I said so), he could be very bossy and demanding. He has no idea how to talk to everyone nicely and he acts as if he's the one who's feeding the family. Believe me.

You don't have a choice anyway.

Friday night, while I was having an FB chat with Sweta, using Blobther's PC of course, (well, surprise!! I'm using his PC when I blog), the monitor got possessed. Maybe it was him who possessed his monitor. Because suddenly? It started to go crazy. Like-- monster crazy!



It messed up with my eyes so bad that they started to bleed.

JUST KIDDING! But you really didn't buy that, did you?

Anyway, I turned off the PC and decided to sleep. Then Blobther came home at around 5AM, turned on his PC and found the monster monitor. Knowing that I was the one who used it last, he wanted me to pay for it. In the most annoying way possible.

The I-am-the-boss-who-can-threaten-you-because-I-don't-want-to-make-it-obvious-that-I'm-a-loser tactic

The I'll-follow-you-wherever-you-are-in-the-house-and-pretend-that-I'm-trying-to-figure-out-what's-wrong-with-the-monitor-in-front-of-you tactic. Or in short, the attention whore tactic.
So I was like:

And he was all:


What the fucking, fucking, fuck?? Is this like blackmail? Extortion? Death threat?

Okay. Not really death threat. But not being able to blog is kinda life-threatening. So technically, it was a death threat.

But THAT pissed me off BIGFUCKINGTIME!! I would be able to buy my own PC if and only if he has a job. But he doesn't. I hate to put it this way but I feed him. And I pay the electricity bills half of his Internet bills. Simply put, I am the breadwinner.


Oooops! Wrong illustration.

So anyway, Blobther is a pain in the ass. Like you haven't figured it out already. Ha! And he has the thickest skin in the face of the planet. I might have to invent a special lotion for him.

And now, I don't have a PC to use at home. I still read your blogs at work. (Don't tell my boss.)

Anyway, I'd like to thank my sister for helping me color my drawings and a friend who let me borrow her laptop.

This friend:
Go ahead. Say hi to her. Make her an internet sensation. Like my bruise!

Of course I have nice people around me too!

That's because I'm nice.

DO. NOT. ARGUE!

P.S. I had to draw the illustrations because using MS Paint and a mouse takes years. And I have to return this laptop right away. It's easier to draw and upload.


23 comments:

  1. If by crappy, you mean fucking awesome, then yes, they're crappy.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Seriously! Granted, I have zero drawing skills, so "m" birds and rainbows would impress me, but these were pretty cool.

    I had a blobsister for a while, because she quite her job. I paid for her bills and it was fine, until she started getting lazy and entitled. I'd come home from my 9 hour day to find her napping on my bed. FUCKING NAPPING. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE ALL DAY?? *heave*

    I'm sorry. I'm okay now. But I feel your pain.

    Lorraine

    ReplyDelete
  3. I get it. I get it Gnetchy Gnetch. Siblings can become annoying. They are cute till they suck their thumbs and sleep and eat and then go back to sleep. The truth hits your face when they grow up and TALK. Bear Hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Tell your Blobther I said to get a job!

    There. That should take care of that problem. Especially since I'm an internet badass and all.

    I love your awesome drawings.

    And Hola! To you your friend who let you use her laptop. That was very nice of her.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Not okay! You should sell all of his stuff (if he ever leaves the house) and use the proceeds to purchase your own PC. Worst case scenario: he gets mad and moves out.

    ReplyDelete
  6. As annoyed as this post made me, we'll laugh about it in a few months' time, when we're rich and you've bought Johnny Depp.

    We'll be able to build whole houses out of PC monitors (and only let hard-working people use them).

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm sure one day you will have a SUPER COMPUTER, and your bro's will
    probably breakdown,and he will be begging you to use yours.
    Very good job on the drawings.

    ReplyDelete
  8. your brother and my brother should meet coz i'm pretty sure they'd get along. my brother's a bum too. didn't like school. i put him through school for 3yrs but he ended up a dropout so i gave up. i might as well spend my money on something worthwhile than send a bum to school who doesn't even think how you worked hard for that money. sorry i'm ranting hehehe. i was surprised to learn that we have similar issues with our sibling. i really wanted to kick him out of the house but i can't do that coz he's my only sibling. :(

    anyways, i looovvvee your drawings. man, i wish i can draw like that.

    and oh! my brother can draw too. i think that's the only consolation he's got.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I swear you are the most patient sister in the whole wide world...with all that stuff, you're so kind to your brother and he should be thankful for that! Let me know if you need a helping hand. I'm not that far...(just kidding)

    Thanks to your friend and to your sister for helping you out.

    ReplyDelete
  10. LOL awesome. Loving the illustrations, they go along so well with your story(or rather, short memoirs). Fight the Blob, let him know you will not stand there and get slimed by him(in a completely brotherly plutonic way).

    ReplyDelete
  11. Gnetch if I was there I would go drill seargent on the blob for you. I have a special talent of making grown men cry. In an hour he would be begging to clean the house for you.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I knew you are nice. I mean, every time I look at some of your pics, you look cute and innocent. But if I see your drawings, I feel: Who is this? What happened? Haha.. well, it's good to have a creative outlet. I love the blobther :P

    ReplyDelete
  13. You should find the shitties monitor around on Craigslist or something for free and bring it home and say, "Here you go Brother, I bought a new monitor all by myself, now YOU can pay the electric bill and rent and grocery bill otherwise I won't let you use it".

    ReplyDelete
  14. dont buy him a new monitor, buy urself a new monitor n use it wen u want to blog otherwise keep it locked in ur family safe!

    PS: loved ur crappy illustrations!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I love that a.) you hand-drew all of these fab illustrations and b.) you watermarked them. LIKE A PRO.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I feel like you can outlast him without the internet. If he's really that into gaming, he'll need it back eventually. Stay strong!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I love the illustrations. Seriously they are awesome. We have to work on some type of blogging project (Once u get a comp) because you are too funny, Post more, you have interesting stories.

    ReplyDelete
  18. the illustrations are awesome!So meticulously coloured :D
    Tell your brother that your friend from India is gifting a you a Cobra.It's treat?Lazy asses.
    no,seriously!He'll cave,don't worry.
    And Yaay to the friend :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Dude!We should send our brothers somewhere together.Then they'd fight and leave us alone!
    Also...Drawings are aaawesome.Not that you didn't know.
    <3

    ReplyDelete
  20. I think your drawings are pretty good, actually. Funny blog, I'm gonna follow.

    ShanimalCrackers.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hmm. Sounds like my bro-in-law living at my mom's house with my sister and their 3 kids. If he makes it through this month at work without being laid off, then it'll be fine come March if he's laid off cuz he'll then be eligible to collect unemployment and won't have to look for another job for 6 months. What in the WHAT?!?!?!

    ReplyDelete