Sunday, January 9, 2011

The Biggest Fuck You of 2010. At least for me. But you know what I mean.

I've only been gone for like, what, 2 weeks? And I forgot how to start a paragraph.

That sucks.


Did you miss me? I missed you! No. I swear!

As I promised, I'm gonna tell you the cake thief's side of the story. On HOW THE CAKE ENDED UP INSIDE HER MOTHER-IN-LAW'S STOMACH.

Yes. You heard it right. She gave the cake to her mother-in-law. As a gift. Because that's what good daughters-in-law do.


This post is super long by the way. But please read. Thank you. I love you. Hahaha.

Well, this doesn't look like a Sansrival to me either but I'm too lazy to redraw.
Our company has an online grocery/bakeshop etc., where employees can log in and order stuff and the items will be delivered to our office and the amount will just be deducted from our salary. Which, I must say, is quite convenient.

So last month, I ordered a butter Sansrival for my cousin's 10th birthday. The thing is, since I was working night shifts (yes, was. I work AMs now), and there's no delivery scheduled at dawn, I had to have it delivered Friday, at 12 noon. My plan was for my friends at work to text me when the cake arrives and I will just have my brother pick it up there.

I waited the whole day for their text but they said my cake did not arrive. I WAS FURIOUS.

At 5pm, one of my coworkers texted me that my cake has not arrived and she was about to go home. She said only one cake was delivered and it was for [insert name of the cake thief here].

I was so mad. I was expecting my cake and it did not arrive! So I sent 3 angry emails to the bakeshop. I got no response.

According to that friend, she saw, (okay, let's name the thief Cakey), carrying a box of cake.

Cakey's explanation to her: "I'm glad this cake arrived today. This is scheduled for tomorrow. But I don't won't be here tomorrow."

Then, she continued her story. "I ordered butter Sansrival because I don't like the toffee flavor. I'm gonna give this to my mother-in-law as a gift."

When my friend was texting me their conversation, I thought why would the bakeshop deliver someone else's cake, which was scheduled to be delivered the next day? And why didn't they just deliver both mine and hers at the same time since we ordered THE SAME ITEM.

As I said, I got angry. I sent 3 E-mails to the bakeshop. I had one of my coworkers talk to them on the phone and I, too, called them. At 1 AM.

Then the revelation: The person who answered the phone said, "There was no delivery for Cakey today. She did not order anything."

Splendid. Fuck.

So the next day (mind you guys, I was sick during this time. This caused me too much trouble), I went to the bakeshop's office to confirm stuff. They showed me the duplicate of the delivery receipt. With MY NAME on it. So yes, the cake Cakey took home was MINE.

I decided to reported the incident to my manager. I could not confront Cakey about this because this is theft. I had to do what was right. I had to have my manager call the bakeshop so they can decide what had to be done. Also, Cakey and I? NOT FRIENDS. We don't even talk to each other. We don't even see each other because of our work schedule. And she's, let's say, crazy. Crazy as in making things up, telling stories about how rich she is, how her boyfriend's too scared to lose her, and all that bullshit.

So when Cakey found out that *I* found her out, she texted me.
Good AM, Gnetch. I was told that I *accidentally* took your cake? I don't understand because my name was on the receipt and I know I placed an order. Now, I checked [insert website of the bakeshop here], my order was deleted. I'm really confused I can't get the receipt anymore because I removed it from the box and threw it away. And I didn't bother to check the name because I know it was mine. I'll call [bakeshop website] later. But I doubt they will admit their mistake. I'm just annoyed because my name was on the receipt and I know I ordered a cake. You should have just told me. Would you like me to pay you? -- Cakey
First, she said it was her name that was on the receipt. Then second, she did not bother to check the receipt because she was expecting the cake that day. And then she repeated that it was her name on the receipt.

Also? You remember she said to my coworker who saw her that she was expecting her cake to arrive Saturday? SO HOW WOULD SHE EXPECT HER CAKE TO BE DELIVERED ON FRIDAY?

Can you see how stupid she is? She can't even get her story straight.

She texted me a lot of times to try to clear her name, saying how confused she is about the mistake, and putting the blame on the bakeshop. The bitch even told me that she didn't know if she should apologize to me or not because she did not do anything wrong.

I told her I have the duplicate of the receipt. With MY name on it.

Her excuse: "They can make a fake duplicate. You know how they are. They always make mistakes." Then went on texting me her horror stories about the bakeshop. Well, basically just to make it look like it was the bakeshop's mistake. And that the bakeshop sabotaged her to make her look like a thief.

And her excuse on how her order history was deleted? "They know our passwords." Very convenient.

Now, why would the bakeshop delete her order history? Why would they do that to her? She's not that important. No. Really. She's not.

She event updated her status on Facebook on how pissed off she with the bakeshop.

TRANSLATION: (1) is pistoff with [name of bakeshop]! hello???! I made the mistake? Are you sure???? (2) is pistoff with our bakeshop! hello????! I made the mistake? how many times have you messed up??!!

Well honey, there's no such word as pistoff. You're welcome.

So anyway, she went on and on and on for days about how the bakeshop messed up. And then the story turned into me TRYING to make her look like a thief.

And now she's the victim. I'm the bad guy. I know. Fucking awesome. She even texted me, giving me advise [sic] (believe me, that was how she spelled it) that the next time this happens, I should confront the person.

Well, no. Just. Fucking. No.

So she said she'll just pay me but I HAVE TO GO TO HER CUBICLE to get the money. I said no. Why would I go to her? She's the one who caused me trouble, she should come to me!



Well, I won. She came to me to pay for the cake she stole.

And you thought she's done now, did you? NO! Oh, no.

A few days later, she posted this on Facebook (AGAIN):
"Super tired last night.. xmas party @___ and [name of the restaurant] (was not able to eat because my stub was missing. who would take it? they have serial numbers) and ruins ___ until 10pm..."

The missing "stub" she was talking about was a gift certificate (to a restaurant) given by our CEO to us employees.

When she reported the missing GC (or stub, as she called it) to our manager, she said she did not get hers. That she heard it was distributed to the night shift employees. She was requesting the night shifts to be investigated.

Now, again... Why would she go to the restaurant if she hasn't received her GC?

Again, my dear. Get your story straight. If you weren't able to receive the GC, your GC, why would you go to that restaurant?

So as I said, she wanted the night shift employees investigated. Now, I think this was why she was insisting that I go to her cubicle to get her payment. SO SHE CAN CLAIM THAT I TOOK IT. Well, I'm glad I did not go to her. My pride saved me from being framed.

Oh God. She's so stupid. So I sort of edited her wanted poster.

Stupidity is a crime, bitch.


In a totally different note, may I remind everyone that we are gonna be having our Martini-Mud Mask party next week. Those who wants to attend, you may send me your pictures. Now!! ;)

I've sent the invitation on Facebook and emailed the others. If you're new to this blog, the online party looks like THIS but now, we have to be in facial masks and drinking a martini. But it doesn't really have to be a martini. We're not so strict here. EVERYONE'S INVITED!!

I'd like to thank my co-organizers, Sweta, Tyla (who designed the invitation) and Ria for this idea.


  1. Gnetchy...
    Can I punch her?
    I'll make it look like an accident.
    I promise! would she know about the stub if she didn't have one?I mean the details about the restaurant etc?
    Pfffffff for stupid people.
    And the photo will be in tomorrow.Paaaaaaaaaartaaaaay!!!


  2. Ria- Oh, I would so love for you to punch her. But her face is made of rubber! Haha.

    The stub was for a certain restaurant our CEO also owns. It was so stupid of her to go there if she hasn't received her GC. She wasn't even clear if she received it and it got stolen or she really did not get hers. She was probably too desperate to divert the attention to another issue and to blame me for something. We totally should ninja punch her.

    I'll wait for your pic!! :)

  3. Wow, this woman is a total mess. How can she lie so much and pretend it's the truth? She's probably demented. Seriously.. She should be the patient. And put her in a room with drawings of cakes. She's totally immature, you're totally sane and normal. She'll always be the loser and you win, because you're smart and honest. You ma hero, 'Netch! ;)

  4. Hey girl! You want us to stomp Cakey's ass or just hold her down and stuff cupcakes in her mouth until she chokes?

  5. That's an awesome service right there. Too bad you didn't get it. Pie is better anyways.

  6. I hate shady people so much. The thing about thieves and just shady people in general is that they lie so much that they forget which lie tey told so they have to create another lie and the cycle repeats itself. You can't expect a straight answer from shady ass people. It's best to call them out and avoid them when possible. She had her cake and ate it too.

  7. WOW!!! That looks like a thing that will happen in movies... all goofed up!!

  8. Good job on the pics,and stop trying to get yourself framed .


    I wish we also have an online bakeshop. That's conveniently cool.

  10. Throw a cake on her face Gnetchy! She deserves that. Grrr!

  11. MKL- After that incident, a lot of stories about her emerged. I was told that she sometimes gets on and off a public vehicle without paying and thinks it's funny and cool. I was also told that in a department store, she would pretend she would buy a razor, ask the saleslady to try it on her eyebrows, but ends up not buying it. She just wants a free eyebrow reshaping service. And that too, she thinks is a badass thing to do, like it's something to be proud of.

    Middle Child- Oh yes, please!! I've been transferred to the AM shift and I see her every day. I'm trying my best not to pull her hair and mop the floor with her huge lips. Haha.

    Richard- But I looooove cake!! :)

    Israel- I agree. It's like a bad habit of hers. I researched about lying and I think she falls into the pathological liar category.

    Ratzy- Oh, yeah.

    Maxy- Why, thank you.

    Jan- She is! And yes, the online bakeshop is kinda cool.

    Mel- I almost did when she called me immature. I was glad I had a lot of support from my coworkers but, dang! She was annoying.

  12. This story has me so upset. What a bat shit crazy coworker. I don't even know where to begin in my comments.
    1. Your picture of the cake looks like a club sandwich, but I'd eat it anyway.
    2. If she is going to be a liar she should at least take classes on how to be good at it.
    3. I hate when people spell advice as advise. Two different meanings.
    4. How in the world do you understand those facebook updates, did you get a crazy ass lingo decoder in a cracker jacks box?
    5. If she hates the bakery that much and has "horror" stories about them, then why does she continue to order from them.
    6. I hope she gets fired, and you can celebrate with a slice of cake.

  13. Chicken- I super love you right now because you read the entire post!! :)
    1. Yes, I thought it looked like a sandwich too! Haha.
    2. I think she made herself believe that she was able to convince everyone. She's good at lying. To herself. What?
    3. Totally!
    4. Haha. We speak the same language. She just messed it up so much that it sounded stupid. Well, because she is.
    5. Good point.
    6. She wasn't fired. She just paid the cake and stuck to her story that it wasn't her mistake, yada yada yada... *sadder than sad face*

  14. I'm new here from the Loaded Handbag. I can't believe the desperation of her. To want cake so bad she would steal it from the place that she works!!! Craziness. Good for you for reporting her. There's no way that's a one-time incident.

  15. This entire situation is ridiculous. I just want to sack her with a rolled up newspaper and say "NO! WE DON'T STEAL CAKES!"

  16. I just want to tie her upside down from a tree and make her smell heated,dried chilly fumes.Verrrry EFFECTIVE.

  17. FreeFlying- Thank you! I know. I don't think it's about the cake though. I think it's just a bad habit of hers to take things and not pay for them? She thinks it makes her look like a "cool bad girl" or something. But still...

    Nicki- I hate her now more than ever. Haha.

    Sweta- That's the best torture idea I've ever heard of so far.

  18. woah, that was weird. I was reading this and all of a sudden there was tagalog written in it. I speak that language

  19. Dude, I'm a kill that bitch... first of all, you just don't steal cake. Second of all, YOU DON'T STEAL A BITCH'S CAKE! And the have the nerve... you know what, I don't have words for this. I'm in a glass case of emotion right now.

  20. lets get dat bithch! i m an expert in hatching murder plans, i can help.