Tuesday, February 15, 2011

New Holidays. Because there are things that matter more than THAT Valentine's Day Crap. And Holy Shit, I'm back!

I hate to disappoint you but this is NOT an anti-Valentine's day post.


I gotta say that I have heard enough bitter statements about Valentine's day yesterday so I decided to do something different. But only just a little bit.

Have you noticed that there are not enough special days to make every person in the world happy? I mean, come on! It's true. Valentine's day is for couples. What about those who are single? (Ahem).

What about those who are pissed off?

What about those who are lazy?

Don't we have a special day for them??

So again, here I am, trying to save the world by making it fair for everyone. I'm working on world domination peace, remember?

Because I'm awesome like that.

So I have come up with a few legendary Special Days that should make EVERYONE happy.

Not just couples.

Are you ready for this?

The Smell Like A Hobo Day.
This is the day when you are allowed to smell like hell and no one would judge you because everyone else smells the same. Stinky armpits, last night's dinner in your mouth, flies following you around like your some kind of Justin Bieber for the flies, etc. The smellier you are, the more famous you'll be. But just for one day.
PLEASE! Do not exceed. Or else, the next day should be Kill The People Who Smell Like A Hobo Day.

The Please Don't Let Taylor Swift Sing Ever Again Or I'll Get Kanye Day. (Or the I'ma Let You Finish Day).
I don't even have to explain this. The person who encouraged her to become a singer should be tickled in the nose with a dusty feather for 30 days straight.

Kick To Show You Care Day.
 This is the day when you can show the person you care about that you TOTALLY care by kicking them. It's super awesome. You will be able to test how strong and flexible your legs are and show your affection at the same time. There's nothing wrong with being affectionate, right?

Punch Random People Because I Feel Like Shit Day.
This day is for everyone as well. If you're a girl and you feel stabby because of PMS but you don't really feel like bringing a knife anywhere you go because it's not really that fashionable to bring a knife and also it might ruin your cutey pinky purse, just punch anyone. Random people! And if you're a guy and you're drunk and feeling violent, this day is perfect for you too. Not only will it make you feel better but also? It will make other people who get left out on other special days feel like they belong. It's for a good cause. See?

Lazy/Procrastinator's Day

Well, I haven't decided the exact dates we should celebrate these super awesome special days so you can celebrate anytime you want. Go ahead. Physically assault someone with wild abandonment.


  1. The last one... you had me at the last one... BWahaha...

  2. You're definitely back and YAY for that. I love the:

    1. Kick To Show You Care Day.and
    2. Lazy/Procrastinator's Day

    but really the last one made me LOL. HAHAHAHA!

  3. These are all awesome. And I love the illustrations!

    My favorite is Smell Like a Hobo Day. Mostly because I already dress like one most days. Which is why the cops always show up when I'm hanging out at the park.

    Now I'm going to go kick someone who is playing Taylor Swift songs to show I care.

  4. Punch people in the face day, why just a day? Gnetch that should be every Sunday. That's my thoughts on it though.

  5. Don't get me started with wearing green shit on St. Patrick's Day
    coming up . Who started this shit ?

    Good job on the pics :-)

  6. I'll go for the lazy/procrastinator's day. it should be on a weekly basis so that i'll have every excuse to clutter my stuff around and tell everyone "i'm going to tidy this up next week" and when next week comes, i'll recite that same excuse over again.

  7. I'm glad you're back. I so missed you.. :)

  8. Pretty sure I celebrated Smell Like a Hobo and/or Lazy Procrastinator Day. Who said it's inappropriate to sit on the couch in sweats eating M&M's all day long while ignoring my child's needs? If people were supposed to be productive, they wouldn't have invented Netflix.

  9. What, no "Spit in Justin Bieber's face day"? Disappointed that you didn't have any day about JB! :( Ok, I'm probably saying that, because I'm a smelly hobo today :P

  10. None them need preparations as much as Smell like a Hobo day.I don't need preparations!I'm awesome{or plain disgusting} like that!
    I'm glad you're back..SOOOOOOOOOO glad!yaay!

  11. @Ratzy: Hehe. Right?? :)

    @Sey: Yes!! I knew people can relate to that last one.

    @Jay: Kick Taylor Swift for me too. Like, maybe 10 times. Hahaha.

    @Wolfy: Oh you can totally do it every Sunday. Even everyday if you feel like it.

    @Maxy: Maybe we should have the "Kill People Who Wear Green Shirts On St. Patrick's Day" Day. That's too long a name for a holiday but people are gonna get used to it. :)

    @Jan: Haha! People are gonna love this holiday.

    @Ty: I missed you too!!!

    @Los Schoenys: You have a point there. They wouldn't even have invented Facebook if we weren't meant to procrastinate.

    @Nino: I decided to temporarily stop making fun of him and wait 'till he (or she?) is 18. Let's wait another year. Don't worry. It will come.

    @Sweta: Haha! Smell Like A Hobo should be celebrated once a week then!! And yes, I am really REALLY back!!! ♥

  12. I'm going to put my neck on the line and disagree with you. I don't mean to sound nasty, I had to sit next to a real live hobo today, and for the whole day I could smell him. I couldn't handle it if one day EVERYBODY did the same.

    Completely up for Punch Randoms Day though.

    Bang. That was me punching a random.

  13. The punch random people day should be celebrated at anytime, by anyone.
    And for the lazy day, someone should find a date, because those who want to celebrate it are lazy.
    We should also celebrate the "say like a lot" day.Like, now.Like, everyday.Like...duh!
    And the I have a cold and I'll sneeze on you because I can day should be included in the non-Valentine's celebrations.
    ps.YAAAAAAAAAAAY YOU'RE BAAAAAAACK(and I still have exams and a cold and a fever.but yay!)

  14. i love d last one as well as d Punch ramdom ppl day. lets decide a day. i think 1st january wud b bst 4 d punch random ppl day as most guys wud stil b drunk den :P

  15. I smell like a hobo today. Am I celebrating it too early?

  16. I love these Holidays. I already celebrate smell like a hobo day before I even knew it was a holiday. I'm glad you put a time limit on smelling.

  17. Awesome.
    Can we add Sweatpants, Couch, & Chicken Wing day please?

  18. @Tom: Cuz? How dare you disagree with me??? HOW. DARE. YOU??? :P

    @Ria: I love your suggestions. Especially the Say Like A Lot Day! I mean, like, I'm like a total, like, a fan of like, uh, like!!

    @Nabanita: Haha. That would be good. But you can totally punch people whenever you want. And then blame it on PMS.

    @Chicken: No. Of course not!! Any day is perfect. :)

    @Israel: Well, yeah. Smelly people could make others violent too, you know??

    @Ryan: Yes. Totally!!!

  19. OMG You're fucking awesome!

    I came across your blog through Sweta's (The Red Door) blog and mannnn i juts can't get enough! I'm almost through with reading each and evry post of yours..all in a day's work...when I actually should've been working my ass off. Damn you Gnetch!

  20. First of all, whoa there's someone else named Jay! O.O And since that's not actually my real name but my internet codename, I feel bad for being a name thief. Anyway, I'm following your blog now because you're pretty awesome. I love your new holidays! Well most of them. I wouldn't be able to celebrate Kick someone because you care day, but I could definitely get behind the punch people you don't know day. I definitely have days where I feel like that. Well, I think that this comment is long enough now. You should check out my blog and maybe follow me.