Sunday, January 16, 2011

This. This is why I REFUSE to learn how to drive.

No. I haven't killed did not kill anyone. Not yet.

This is the part where you will place your hand on your chest and let out a sigh of relief.

Thank you.

So a few friends have been asking me over and over again if I can drive (the answer is NO) and why I don't want to learn. Well, actually, it's a very stupid question when it's coming from a long-time friend BECAUSE it's a very known fact that *I* don't have a car and they SHOULD know that by now.

So what's the point in learning? Right?

But I have other reasons: (A) I'm not good at remembering places, and (B) I am VERY clumsy. I have the ability to run over people or bump into stuff even when I'm just walking.

No. Seriously.

I even hurt myself when I do that.

So there.

Want some photo evidence of my recent clumsiness?

Of course you do!

And I'll show it to you even if you don't want to see it.

And I won't hear you say, "No I don't!" anyway. So I'm showing it.

These photos may be disturbing to some amazingly sensitive people.
So take a deep breath and try not to be too sensitive. 
If you can't handle this kind of stuff, just continue reading and
it will be over soon.

You're getting pictures in 3 different camera settings. Even grayscale. Because I'm generous like that.

What really happened:

I bumped my leg to a tissue dispenser in our office bathroom when I raised my foot to flush my pee.

TMI, I know. But that's what happened.

And yes, I'm THAT clumsy.

I'm guessing I've pretty much convinced everyone that I should never ever try to drive?

You're welcome.

P.S. Our blogger party will be posted in a few days. Still waiting for 3 people to send their pictures. They promised. *ahem*


  1. There is hope! You could think about whether the clumsiness is more likely to be an issue of perception or one of structure. If it's muscular for example, you might be able to work on developing control of those muscles. If it's perception, you could do a similar kind of training with your mind, working on tests of observation and playing games that rely on vision and awareness.

  2. I am just as clumsy... and also not a very good driver, but that doesn't stop me.

  3. Oh, what a bummer. But I think clumsy girls are cute somehow. I'm sure the guy that'll get the honor to date you, will love to take care of all your bruises and I'm sure you'll reward him generously.

  4. we're the same on being 'clumsy', 'getting bruises all the time' and 'doesn't know how to drive'. but i can say that i'm pretty good in remembering directions. that's my secret talent hahaha!

  5. Ahem. I know. I know. I got to get that camera. My dad's taken it. Once I get it back to my vicinity, I will. I will.

    PS: Seriously! Tissue dispenser. Seriously. Those things are murderous.

  6. Lolz. I totally agree. I've recently started driving, a few months ago. And every morning I dread it. HATE. IT. Ugh. the worst part? I cannot park! :(

  7. I know I know I'n being a flake to your party :( I didn't know you were that clumsy. ADD?

  8. I love driving, but hate traffic. I would actually have no problem living in a place like NYC where I didn't need a car.

    As for being clumsy, my best moment was when I tried to plug in something, lost my balance and went head first into the wall. It was pretty impressive.

  9. I'm fairly certain that I've never killed anyone either... You know, not on purpose!!

  10. Dude. You bruise very easily. Maybe you shouldn't walk. Or drive. Or move at all. Lol.

  11. Yeah, but you don't get bruised in a car. I think that's a reason for you TO learn. Also, many people can't recall where places are; that's why we have GPS. Never learn anything, again!

  12. I agree with you, wholeheartedly.

    I too would be a liability if allowed behind the wheel of a car.

    Come, let us embrace being pedestrians for life. PFL. That's our new, elite, club.

  13. Oh dear!! I'm the same way... and I'm also terrified of everything outside the car and its ability to be run over by me, so I'm CERTAIN I'd be more of a hazard than a help if I ever learned to drive!!

  14. All through college I pretended I couldn't see at night so I would never have to be the designated driver. It's amazing what a bunch of overly educated people will believe.

    In other words, your decision makes sense to me.

  15. When are you going to really admit you got all those bruises when you were blogging ?
    LOL !

    You're outta control !

  16. I had such a big bruise on my thigh that I have noooo idea where I got it from! I woke up one day and my boyfried asked me what happened. I am convienced I was fighting crime in my sleep thats how bad this bruise was. The worse part was I had the stupid unknown bruise for three weeks and it was so unsightly!! Hopefully yours goes away faster than mine did

  17. @Porky - Haha. I'm just being silly. Thanks for your comment. ;)

    @M - WHEN I win the lottery, I will buy a car and drive. And run over people. Oh wait... :p

    @MKL - Haha. You find it cute? Dude. That's nice of you.

    @MD - Thus the name? Haha.

    @Jan - You should totally be my human GPS!!

    @Ratz - I know, right?

    @The Mad Fat Girl - I heard parking is the most evil part of driving.

    @Israel - You think it's ADD? Dang! Do I need to go see a doctor now?

    @Jay - Whoa! It is pretty impressive. I've never fallen head first on anything but I hit a lot of stuff when I'm walking.

    @CB - LMAO!! Of course you didn't do it on purpose. OF COURSE!! :/

    @Christina - Sadly, yes. Easy bruisability is another one of my *ahem* talents.

    @Matty - But I worry about the pedestrians. I might accidentally run over the people *cough* that I hate. *cough* :p

    @Tom - Oh yes! PFL for the win!!!

    @Em - Totally. We're probably doing the world a favor by not driving.

    @FreeFLying - I think I should try that. I don't know how many people are gonna buy it but it's worth a try.

    @Maxy - Oh dammit! Why did you have to say it out loud?? :p

    @Stephanie - I have a new one on my knee. I don't know how I got it either. Fighting crimes while sleeping makes sense to me, actually. It is likely.

  18. I'm pretty clumsy myself. Like walk into walls clumsy. Maybe it's more awkward than anything else. I still drive though because in South Florida there is no public transportation to speak of. So it's drive or be a hermit. I like too many pretty things to be a hermit.


  19. Don't let anyone give you shit for not driving. It's safe. It's eco-friendly. And you can't brutally maim or murder someone with your vehicle. Win? WIN.