Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Another Great Idea: The Halloween Special (Alternative Title: How To Be A Badass Ghost)

I'm pretty sure most bloggers are still trying to decide who they will be this Halloween. And I know most bloggers have written posts about what costumes they are gonna be wearing and what others should wear.

But since I'm different and *ahem* more advanced, I'm gonna tell you how to be the most awesome ghost ever.

Yes. Ghost.

Because we all are gonna go there at some point.


So let's begin.

1. Tombstone.

Avoid having your family put "R.I.P" or "In Loving Memory Of" on your tombstone. Seriously?? That is so 10 years ago. Dare to be different! Be bold! Have them carve, "Hell Yeah, Fuckers!" or "Wanna come with?"

Better yet, have them write BRB or Be Right Back on your tombstone. Aside from its undeniable badassness, you will also save your family from depression of losing you.

Of course, you have to make your tombstone glow in the dark. We're talking about LOUD badassness here!! Hello??!

2. Makeup.

It is important to always look awesome. Your makeup should be loud. Colorful. Extravagant. Lively!!! Obviously, I'm not talking about a do-it-yourself makeup. How can you do it yourself when you're dead?! Duh?? Get a makeup artist!

See the illustration below:

Model is wearing tan foundation with sunkissed blush. Blood red lipstick is a must, especially if your eyeshadow is deep purple and your eyeliner is gray. Don't forget the false eyelashes and the weave! They are important.

So when you turn into a ghost, you will look like this:


3. Keep the promise you made.

Of course, when you say BRB, you have to keep that promise. Visit your loved ones! Terrify your enemies!! And get back on those fuckers who broke your heart when you were alive by visiting them in their dreams and breaking their plates and lampshades and punching small holes into their unused condoms.

But again, don't be just another ordinary ghost like this:

You have to be the most glamorous ghost.

(I know it's a bit early. But as I said, I'm advanced so suck it up.)



  1. BRB on tombstone is fucking awesome! i'm sure those assholes who messed up with me will not get a single sleep.

    Happy Halloween!

  2. Good Job on the pics Gnetch.
    So will you be pretending to be
    ruler of the world on Halloween?
    Have a Happy One !

  3. LOL. Happy Halloween.... ooooooooohhh.....

  4. LMAO. Ya know, near my Mom's house, there is this graveyard that does have lighted or glowing letters on a few of the tombstones!

  5. LOL Glamorous!! Too funny, loved this!! :)

  6. Dear Halloween Decoration Companies: Please immediately start manufacturing tombstones with BRB on them. Somebody grab a piece of that market, stat.

  7. Freaking hilarious as always. BRB.

  8. Happy Halloween Gnetchy!
    I've decided to be a glow in the dark fluo pink ghost!And instead of plasma, I'll leave behind me glitter.
    Pics are amazing as aaaalways, and I'm jealous as always :p

  9. hahahaha!!! I saw a guy wearing a tshirt once that had a picture of Jesus on the cross and under it was "BRB" this reminded me of that, only your idea is way funnier ;)

    happy halloween!!! I'm so excited to get dressed up!!

  10. You know what's even more awesome about your ways to be a badass ghost? It can also apply to being a badass zombie, especially the tombstone bit. I mean "be right back"? Priceless.

  11. I love your graphics! It totally made the post!

  12. Deffinitly get a patent on the BRB tombstone idea, that smells of money

  13. Re: your comment on the Loaded Handbag; Phineas and Ferb is a permanent part of my Saturday morning ritual. That, and coffee.

  14. Hahaha... your posts are always so brilliant. How much does a person have to procrastinate to come up with such stuff? :P

    This is classic and you have to make part two on Halloween ;)

  15. That is so bad-ass. How do you plan on returning?

  16. Happy halloween, girly!

    I dressed as the dark lord the other day, I don't have costumes prepared so I just grabbed black clothes and my brother's mask :p

  17. That's fucking awesome. BRB on your tombstone... Love it.

  18. Not to sound racist or be stereotyping, (bahahaha!) but what's with black people and getting screen printed shirts made for loved ones they've lost and always writing R.I.P. above the picture? They couldn't think of anything more creative to say? What, that's the only thing that would fit on the screen?????

  19. I legitimately like that BRB idea. I don't know about glow in the dark, but if I died tomorrow, I'd want BRB on my tombstone

  20. I'm sorry it took me a week to reply and I'm sorry for not posting last weekend!! It's been a crazy week. Anyway, since I love you all...

    @Jan - Haha! I'm planning to do that too!!

    @Maxy - I did not pretend. I am the ruler of the world. :p

    @Ratz - Happy belated Halloween!!

    @Richard - Glowing letters? So people really have their tombstones glow in the dark? Haha.

    @Em - Thanks. Oh, feel better!!

    @Nicki - Yes, they should. And they have to give me a cut.

    @Ian - BRB!!

    @Ria - Glitter!! Of course. That's way better!!

    @Lacey - A guy I saw on Lamebook was wearing a BRB shirt. He inspired this post, I suppose. :)

    @Christina - Oh yeah! I didn't think about zombies!

    @Chicken - Thanks!

    @Wolfy - Yes. Money. I hope the manufacturers give me a cut. This is like the best idea ever!!

    @MKL - Dude. Thank you! I would make a part II but it's too late for Halloween.

    @Israel - A ghost always returns to visit.

    @Andhari - Ahhh.. I bet you had fun! Happy (belated) Halloween!

    @Dr. Heckle - Of course you do.

    @Los Schoenys - I don't understand it either but you know... ;p

    @David - But a glow-in-the dark tombstone with a BRB message is so attention grabbing. It's badass!!