Sunday, October 10, 2010

*UPDATED* What? You want a piece of me? Trying to make my day, huh??

Don't you think I've had enough already? Like-- seriously? Huh, spammers??

And I'm not talking about the do-yourself-a-favor-by-following-my-blog spammers. (But you're included so you better listen).

I have been getting spams sent to my Gmail on a daily basis (well, almost). At first it was okay. Then the numbers started to grow. Larger and larger. Like Gremlins!

By the way, I used to want to have a pet Gremlin.

But I digress.

I have been getting spams more than I've been getting dandruff lately. Not that I prefer dandruff but you get my point.

Some want to share their inheritance with me.

Others talk to me in Chinese. I can't read Chinese!! (Uhm, Nino... Help?)

Some say I've won a huge amount of money.

Others invite me to join their site to increase traffic to my own site. The hell??

And one person offers me PENIS ENLARGEMENT.


There is this one lucky spammer that I replied to. I forgot which one but this is what I said: "GO FUCK YOURSELF."

I wrote that with feelings. Because I'm very passionate like that.

Anyway, I'd like to show you the spams I have been receiving because I'm really generous that I'd like to share this kind of shit with you.

You're welcome.

And to all of them, here's my message:
Now, I'm feeling better.

But if I get another spam, I will publish their e-mail addresses on this blog so they can get a taste of their own medicine.

Hey! That's like my most brilliant idea ever! *pats self in the back*

Anyway, in a totally unrelated note, I have been asked a lot of times where I get my ideas. Some even wonder if I'm really really really often that bored when I say "boredom makes me crazy."

I really don't know but I have a theory.

Obviously, some of the veins in my brain were not placed correctly. I must have bumped my head really bad when I was a baby.

I think when my mom popped me out of her vajayjay, this is what happened:


So as I said, if I get another spam after this post, I will publish their E-mail address. So far, I got 2 new spammers.

One is from, which of course, was in Chinese so I did not understand what the E-mail was about.

The second one is from

I don't have a clue what this E-mail was about but he made me want to crush his PURPLE MONKEY BALLS into tiny pieces.


  1. I've been getting alot of spam as well like I won the Lotto or some shit. If I really won the lotto, would I be living in the armpit of Anaheim? Anyway I feel you on this shit but just remain funny. BTW I think you're on to something RE: brain damage. Bloggers, in general, have racing minds. Does your mind wander in silence?... That's what I thought.

  2. You had an african american doctor?! I WANT ONE. (To make caramel chocolate babies with but that's another blog for a different post.) We need to create a spell that will send spammers STDs. I bet Mark Zuckerberg would totally know how to do that? I mean after all, he is god. Have you presented him with the whole being married to two asians at the same time bit? I mean I'm not all about monogamy. Are you? ---------- p.s. love the pictures :) <3

  3. Bahaha and ironically, I had tweeted earlier that I was seeing less spam. Guess they went after you instead!

  4. Ha. That's actually why I have multiple email accounts. One of them hasn't been discovered yet.

  5. What you don't want penis enlargment medication and you can't reand Chinese? And here I thought all Asians read Chinese, ate noodles, and know kung fu, I guess I learned something new today.

    On a serious note though I fucking hate spammers and I want to feed them into a wood chipper feet first.

  6. I've been getting a lot more spam too lately!!!!

    I loooove all your drawings bitch, they make my fucking day!

  7. Maybe just as bad as SPAMmers are hackers. I just found out that my AOL instant messenger account from like 8 years ago was hacked. I didn't even realize I still had an account until my husband notifies me today that he got an email from my old AIM address. How embarrassing. Now I'm THAT girl!

  8. OMG! I have the same problem with my gmail account, however it is hidden in the actual gmail but when I sync the account to my iPhone, you see all that crazy mess. Ugh.

    But unlike you, I'm not digressing.


  9. I don't think I've been getting more spam lately, but then again, I've had this e-mail for long enough that maybe GMail has managed to filter it all out. It's really, really rare that a spam message gets to my actual inbox, and except for CVS and Gamestop newsletters, most of my legit mail stays out of the spam filter.

  10. I've thought of forwarding the spam mail to the spammers.It'd be fun.I got a mail in Russian today, and in French the other day...
    Also, I loooove your drawings.Don't know if I've said that before.

  11. OMG I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME!!! They came out of now where! It's nothing but ladies that hit me up asking for dates...I'm always like DUDE I'M STRICKLY DICKLY! What the hell! Some are even trying to get me to view cam! I fell for it once...I thought it was a friend of mine I hadn't heard from because they were talking to me like they knew me...Then when I turned on the cam...

    well....I saw things that would mess my head up if I wasn't already insane!!!

    *my poor eyes*

  12. Spammers sucks really!!! I do get some too from time to time but luckily i am not as famous as you are so it's not that too many like yours.

    The word "compaq presario laptops" made you angry too? Hmmm, glad i haven't told you before mine is a compaq presario.

  13. LOL@:

    Gnetch: And I'm not talking about the do-yourself-a-favor-by-following-my-blog spammers. (But you're included so you better listen).

    A Commenter: OMG! I have the same problem [...] that crazy mess. Ugh.

    But unlike you, I'm not digressing.



    >_< Or?

  14. one more week and I could memorize the content of the spam letters. haha. I would push you to publish the email addresses. that would be fun plus we could make a matching game if our spammers are same as yours and you can do the final verdict on what we could do with those assholes. What do you think? I know a beeter idea is popping on your mind now, on what to do next.

  15. LOL too funny!! I get an absolute tonne of spam too but never in Chinese. Lots of penis enlargements, and people that want to immediately wire $15 million dollars to my bank account...

  16. You are the greatest ever. That is all. Keep up the great work or else.

  17. I get similar emails. Particularly for penis enlargement and viagra. While I understand it's insulting for you, I think it's even worse for me - because it implies things. Ahem.

    I once got so angry (and I had a few drinks) that I emailed loads of them back. My responses varied from "Who are you? Why would you give me money?" and "NEVER EMAIL ME AGAIN." None of them replied, but I think they must have passed my email address to their annoying spam-friends. Rage.

  18. thank God i don't get any of those. i have 2 email accounts and it must be very annoying if I get those stuff everyday.

  19. hahahahahaha, I love the censored baby!!! and I loved gremlins!


    I don’t understand the point of spammers!! Like seriously?! Are they getting money? Do they really think a person is gonna see a email about penis enlargement and then they are gonna be like OH Wow and read it and get hacked into. Someone hacked into my AIM this year. I signed on once in the last 3 years first of all. Second of all, no one uses aim. Third, they Imed everyone on my buddylist asking them if they wanted to buy ringtones. I wanted to punch the person in the faceeee whoever it was!!

  21. I agree. The SPAM bots have been very busy lately. We should get a geek around to hack into every spammers systems and eradicate them from existence. And by that I mean give them a computer virus that also kills the person themselves.

  22. Israel, Tyla, Richard, Steve, CB & Ria- I replied to you through e-mail! Woohoo!

    Ashton- I have 4 email accounts. Only Gmail receives spams.

    Wolfy- We should really do something about these spammers.

    Los Schoenys- I don't know what they get from doing these stuff. These spambots should be punished!

    TOAR- Yes, they are in the spambox but you know... I just need to complain.

    Maxy- You mean the food? I hate it! Haha.

    Fallen- They did come out of nowhere. You mean they showed you some.... stuff...?

    Mitch- Oh. Uhm... Okay. (Huh?)

    Nino- Dude, I should forward you the spams so you can have it translated. I mean... just for fun. You know??

    Sey- I will publish the email addresses. And a matching game would be a good idea.

    Em- Whatever gave them the idea that we need penis enlargements? Right?

    Ian- Aw dude! Thank you!

    TbR- I think I could use your rage (when you're drunk) for my non-violent ideas. And yes, I understand why you're insulted. But they're implying that I look like a dude! :p

    Jan- You don't? Oh girl, lucky you!!!

    Lace- I censored my baby picture because I don't want other people getting a view of my baby lady parts. Haha.

    Stephanie- I don't understand them either. And you're the 2nd person I've heard that got victimized by AIM hackers. How do they even do this??

    Christina- They are working their asses off, sending e-mails everywhere! We should give them virtual AIDS!

  23. I'm at work and anyone looking at me must be thinking that I've gone crazy. I'm pissing me arse with laughter here! Girl, I love you!


  24. Hahaha! I'd remember that skin-colored cactus :D wow, missed reading your posts. Gave me a good laugh:D

    moving on to the next now..:)