And I'm not talking about the do-yourself-a-favor-by-following-my-blog spammers. (But you're included so you better listen).
I have been getting spams sent to my Gmail on a daily basis (well, almost). At first it was okay. Then the numbers started to grow. Larger and larger. Like Gremlins!
By the way, I used to want to have a pet Gremlin.
But I digress.
I have been getting spams more than I've been getting dandruff lately. Not that I prefer dandruff but you get my point.
Some want to share their inheritance with me.
Others talk to me in Chinese. I can't read Chinese!! (Uhm, Nino... Help?)
Some say I've won a huge amount of money.
Others invite me to join their site to increase traffic to my own site. The hell??
And one person offers me PENIS ENLARGEMENT.
OKAY! THAT WAS INSULTING! I'M A GIRL!!!!
There is this one lucky spammer that I replied to. I forgot which one but this is what I said: "GO FUCK YOURSELF."
I wrote that with feelings. Because I'm very passionate like that.
Anyway, I'd like to show you the spams I have been receiving because I'm really generous that I'd like to share this kind of shit with you.
And to all of them, here's my message:
|NOTE TO READERS BELOW 18 YEARS OF AGE: KIDS, THAT IS JUST A CACTUS I'M HOLDING. YES, THERE'S A SKIN-COLORED CACTUS IN THE ANGRY ASIAN UNIVERSE.|
But if I get another spam, I will publish their e-mail addresses on this blog so they can get a taste of their own medicine.
Hey! That's like my most brilliant idea ever! *pats self in the back*
Anyway, in a totally unrelated note, I have been asked a lot of times where I get my ideas. Some even wonder if I'm really really really often that bored when I say "boredom makes me crazy."
I really don't know but I have a theory.
Obviously, some of the veins in my brain were not placed correctly. I must have bumped my head really bad when I was a baby.
I think when my mom popped me out of her vajayjay, this is what happened:
So as I said, if I get another spam after this post, I will publish their E-mail address. So far, I got 2 new spammers.
One is from email@example.com, which of course, was in Chinese so I did not understand what the E-mail was about.
The second one is from firstname.lastname@example.org
I don't have a clue what this E-mail was about but he made me want to crush his PURPLE MONKEY BALLS into tiny pieces