This is the part where I am all serious and personal and shit. I just lost someone.

My grandmom passed away last night. I don't know what I'm feeling right now. Pretty much numb. All I know is that my relatives need me there.

Something caused me to wake up last night at around 12 a.m. then I saw a text message from my cousin, asking me to go to the hospital because my grandmom was no longer doing well. She sent it at 11 p.m.-- I was asleep. I texted back (which was an hour late) and asked which hospital grandmom was in. And I got no response. At that point, I somehow felt grandmom was gone. I just knew.

I had a hard time sleeping.

At 6a.m., I texted my aunt and asked again which hospital grandmom was in. Then I got the answer I was expecting. She's gone.

I wasn't shocked. She has been sick for as long as I can remember. I got up from bed and rushed to the shower then I woke my mom up and asked her to come with me.

I can only remember a few things about grandmom. That she cried every time we visit her. Which was only a few times. Since my dad passed away 20 years ago, we barely had time to visit my grandparents. We do visit them on holidays but that was it. Aside from the fact that I was busy with school then and now I am busy with work, it was hard to see her cry every time because we (my brother and I) reminded her so much of my father's death. We reminded her the fact that we were so young when he passed away. And HE was so young when he passed away. She loved us so much and for the past 20 years, she still felt sorry for us, growing up without Daddy.

So this morning, when my mom and I got to my grandparents' house, my aunt hugged me. She was crying. And my grandfather-- oh, how hard was it for me to see him cry. He is sick. He can barely walk. And I have NEVER seen him cry. He loved my grandmom so much. It is so hard to see that my grandfather is now not only physically weak, but emotionally as well. After I hugged him, I didn't know what else to do or say. I just stood there, looking at him. 

What touched my heart the most was that when their landlady arrived and told them not to worry about the month's rent. My aunt cried, thanking the nice woman. My dad's side of the family is not financially stable. And paying for my grandparents' medications for the past years, my grandmom's hospitalization this past week, and now for her funeral and burial, I can say that they are in their worst financial situation.

Having seen that brought me to the decision to shoulder the food for the funeral. I decided I should help. I am not well off. But that's all I can do. I know I don't have enough money to buy food enough for the whole week for all the visitors but I will do what I can. And I decided to visit my relatives everyday this week. I filed a leave from work.

I will be back to my regular posting soon. Don't leave. I will be back. This is still a humor blog but we all go through bad times. This is my bad time

Thanks for reading.