Sunday, August 1, 2010

This is the part where I am all serious and personal and shit. I just lost someone.

My grandmom passed away last night. I don't know what I'm feeling right now. Pretty much numb. All I know is that my relatives need me there.

Something caused me to wake up last night at around 12 a.m. then I saw a text message from my cousin, asking me to go to the hospital because my grandmom was no longer doing well. She sent it at 11 p.m.-- I was asleep. I texted back (which was an hour late) and asked which hospital grandmom was in. And I got no response. At that point, I somehow felt grandmom was gone. I just knew.

I had a hard time sleeping.

At 6a.m., I texted my aunt and asked again which hospital grandmom was in. Then I got the answer I was expecting. She's gone.

I wasn't shocked. She has been sick for as long as I can remember. I got up from bed and rushed to the shower then I woke my mom up and asked her to come with me.

I can only remember a few things about grandmom. That she cried every time we visit her. Which was only a few times. Since my dad passed away 20 years ago, we barely had time to visit my grandparents. We do visit them on holidays but that was it. Aside from the fact that I was busy with school then and now I am busy with work, it was hard to see her cry every time because we (my brother and I) reminded her so much of my father's death. We reminded her the fact that we were so young when he passed away. And HE was so young when he passed away. She loved us so much and for the past 20 years, she still felt sorry for us, growing up without Daddy.

So this morning, when my mom and I got to my grandparents' house, my aunt hugged me. She was crying. And my grandfather-- oh, how hard was it for me to see him cry. He is sick. He can barely walk. And I have NEVER seen him cry. He loved my grandmom so much. It is so hard to see that my grandfather is now not only physically weak, but emotionally as well. After I hugged him, I didn't know what else to do or say. I just stood there, looking at him. 

What touched my heart the most was that when their landlady arrived and told them not to worry about the month's rent. My aunt cried, thanking the nice woman. My dad's side of the family is not financially stable. And paying for my grandparents' medications for the past years, my grandmom's hospitalization this past week, and now for her funeral and burial, I can say that they are in their worst financial situation.

Having seen that brought me to the decision to shoulder the food for the funeral. I decided I should help. I am not well off. But that's all I can do. I know I don't have enough money to buy food enough for the whole week for all the visitors but I will do what I can. And I decided to visit my relatives everyday this week. I filed a leave from work.

I will be back to my regular posting soon. Don't leave. I will be back. This is still a humor blog but we all go through bad times. This is my bad time

Thanks for reading.

32 comments:

  1. Oh Gnetchy Gnetch.... I am so sorry... Hugs to you dear girl.... HUgs.....

    And you have the right decision girl.. so proud of you... stay put.. we are with you..

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  2. That's really sad - I'm sorry for your loss and I hope the funeral goes well (or as well as funerals can go).

    Chin up :)

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  3. A big virtual hug for my Gnetchy!
    I'm sending you every good vibe and possitive thought I have to make you feel better!
    I'm so sorry this had to happen :(
    If you need anything tell us!We're all here for you!

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  4. I'm so sorry sweetie! I know you'll probably feel like you need to stay strong in the real world for a while so make sure you feel free to come here and let it all out when you need to! We'll be here <3

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  5. I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma, Gnetch, but I'm sure that wherever she is now, she's in a better place, and also happily reunited with your father. What you're doing for her funeral is very thoughtful and I'm sure she would've been super proud of you. xx

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  6. I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother's passing. I think you're decision to help out as best as you can with the funeral is awsome, and I think you're grandmother would be very proud of you.

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  7. Ugh, I'm so sorry... it's never easy to lose someone. And it hurts so much more to see older relatives so upset. Take care of yourself and your family, and we'll all be here when you get back. <3 <3 <3

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  8. I'm so sorry. I lost my grandmother a couple of months ago, and it was possibly the hardest thing ever. I was sort of expecting it, like you were, because she had been sick for so long, but that didn't make it any easier.

    Know that my thoughts are with you and your family.

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  9. Oh Gnetch, I'm so sorry for your loss :( There's never anything anyone can say to relieve the grief, but we're all thinking of you and your family and wishing the best. <3

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  10. Sorry to hear, blogs can always wait.
    I wish you,and your family the best
    in this trying time.

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  11. Gnetchy, don't apologize for this post, it's not like we need to be entertained by you. If you feel sad, we'll feel sad with you. If you laugh, we'll laugh with you. Most important is now, that you take some time for yourself. I wish you all the best. So sorry for your loss. I lost my granny few years ago and it was hard for me, too. So I can relate to you. A big hug from me. Be strong.

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  12. My condolences Gnetchy! I know you can handle this coz you are a strong woman. Hold on tight.

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  13. Gnetch I'm so sorry to hear that. My condolences to you and your family. Just hang in there, ok?! We luv yah..!

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  14. Naw babe Im so sorry. Losing someone is terrible and you are doing amazingly being there for your family.
    Be strong, we'll all be here when you're back :)

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  15. Naw babe Im so sorry. Losing someone is terrible and you are doing amazingly being there for your family.
    Be strong, we'll all be here when you're back :)

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  16. I am so sorry to hear about your grandmom!!! Condolence and be strong! We can be on rough roads sometime but hang in there. Everything happens for a reason!..

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  17. So sorry for your loss. I know I don't actually know you in real life but you're in my thoughts.

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  18. When a Jew dies, we do a thing called "sitting shiva," which literally translates as "sitting seven," which is where the family basically doesn't move for a week. Everybody in the community and extended family is supposed to chip in and make sure that they're taken care of while they mourn for the week. Things like bringing food to the funeral, or just bringing food in general. We like food.

    I'm sorry for your loss. Like you said, we all have hard times, this is yours, and here's to a speedy return to normalcy :)

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  19. I am so sorry. Thinking about you.

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  20. I've sent you an e-mail, read it when you have time <3

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  21. Oh sweetie I am so so sorry. Know that you and your family are in my thoughts <3

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  22. I'm sorry about your Grandma. I lost mine a couple years ago and it was tough...still is.

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  23. Wish I was there to comfort ya and help you get "better", always better to handle grief with someone who isn't going through it, as they can be there 100% instead of handling their own grief as well.

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  24. My heartfelt condolences Gnetch..

    xoxo

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  25. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Take care of yourself and love your family.
    Blessings,
    Jenny

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  26. I'm sorry sorry, girl. I know how hard it must be for you right now, and we're all here for you. I'd give you a hug, but, sadly, I'm not where you are. I wish I were right now, though. *virtual hug* It'll get better and things will be okay. I promise.

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  28. so sorry about ur loss.Please take care.

    Nice landlady...the world still has nice friendly people.

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  29. I am really sorry to hear about your grandma. Hang in there and take care. Hugs from all the guys.

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  30. Oh sugar! Damnit, I wish I'd known... Happened while I was in CA.... :(

    I'm so sorry.

    I love you chick.

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  31. Oh I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you are feeling better now. I have 3/4 grandparents left an the though of loosing them makes my stomach crawl.. I wish time could stand still sometimes. I hate death. I would give up having children and moving forward if everyone who is here now would stay...

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