Disclaimer: This post was written calmly. Believe me or I'll set you on fire. No. I mean, really. I waited a few days so I won't sound as angry and/or annoyed. And I tried to avoid sounding arrogant because I am not. I hope I succeeded. Also, this is going to be funny in the end so read on.
So the other day, while I was reading blogs, and I saw a very familiar comment to one of my blog friend's posts. It was MY comment, written by someone else. I would know. Wouldn't you know if a comment or a joke is yours? So I looked at this person's blog and saw that I commented that on one of her posts and she decided to use it when she gets the chance. Which was obviously annoying and of course, weird. I didn't know someone would SORT OF plagiarize comments.
Sort of, because the funny thing about this person is that she doesn't have the balls to say the word, "fuck." So instead, she used "crap" and "damn." Well, she is a good person and she might go to hell for using that horrid word.
Obviously not the actual comment.
Anyway, it was then I remembered that this girl has written something in the past that is so similar to one of my old posts. And by similar, I mean the topic, the format, the labels, AND the ranting style!! Which is too obvious because her writing is different from what I am used to and it is (or was) totally different from mine. I talked to her about it and she denied that she has read my post. And since I'm the nicest bitch in the planet, I let it go.
Her version is like a cheap imitation anyway.
Also? It's not like I'm the only one who can think of that same topic (although the format of that post was undeniably the same as mine) so what the hell.
You see? I'm all kinds of nice. (Please note that this sentence was written in a very sarcastic manner that I think the person I'm talking about will never be able to copy because she is in no way sarcastic.)
But a few of her latest posts are starting to sound like my blog voice!!!
What I'm trying to say is, if you try to sound like someone else on your blog, it would sound fake! You wouldn't want to sound as if you're trying too hard, would you? And do you even feel proud when your readers compliment you on your writing when you know it is somebody else's style that you just coldbloodedly copied?
So a note to my dear copycat. I want to let you know that you're not going to hell if you use the word fuck. So if you want to copy me, say it. Say fuck. It is spelled F-U-C-K. Fuck.
Not that I invented that word but you see, if you want to sound like me, you can sweetly say it.
Also, if you're still hesitant to say that word due to the fear that Satan will come after you, I just want to let you know that the words damn and crap are also forms of expletives. So if you think the word "fuck" could drag you to hell, damn and crap would do too. Oh! And also theft! So be prepared.
I'm that supportive.
Guys, if you ever were victimized by this kind of person, let me know. I have, as always, thought of another great idea on how to get rid of copycats.
By stamping "second-hand material" on their blogs.
Actually, it is Emily Jane's great idea. Not mine.
Reminder: I made this post very specific because I didn't want to cause you, my dear readers, to get all paranoid and think that I'm talking about you. So if you haven't done anything I just mentioned, then it means I love you because you are one original badass and I'm not talking about you.
To the person I'm talking about, it's not too late to bring back your own style. I'm just saying. And linking back won't kill you or give you STDs. Also, it won't cause your hair to fall off. If some posts reminded you of an experience and you decided to write about it, it wouldn't hurt to link back. But copying comments is really stupid so just stop it.
Also, to the person who got paranoid because of my tweets about imitation, it wasn't about you. Stop the E-mailing your blog friends about it, trying to have a pity party, and getting all defensive about your posts.
Yes, one of the people you e-mailed is my friend. So to calm you down, this is not about you and my tweets weren't about you. Stop Chris Browning yourself about this.
And by Chris Browning, I did not mean "physically assaulting" yourself. I meant, this kind of Chris Browning: