I Was Gonna Rant But I Changed My Mind Because You Guys Are Awesome

Warning: This is another "Is It Just Me" post.

But first things first.

Last night, while my bored brain was screaming for something to do, I saw that I got tagged twice. Twice guys! By my awesome blog friends.

Is this an indication of borderline celebrity status? No?

Fine.

Well, it's awesome. So, before I talk about my real topic, I'll participate on these memes.

First, the very awesome Kate from I Am The Worst Blogger gave me a Happy 101 Award! Thanks Kate!

Well, I've already listed the things that make me happy here. But I'd like to add that this past week, 20sb has been making me happy because of all your appreciation and also, I've been making new friends there. We even HAD this silly conversation about me taking over the world and 2 people were fighting over the group head position. I mean, those silly things MADE me laugh out really loud when we were carrying on like that as if it was true because I felt like we all knew each other that well even if we didn't and now I'm beginning to love those crazy people. Not the creepy love, of course.

The underlined sentence was a 47-word sentence. You don't care, do you?

Fuck.

Don't worry, Ashley. We are still the brain of this taking over the world thing. We don't need elections to be president and no one can argue with that. And you're right. I really AM the Blog Tagging Slut.

As for the tagging, I'm passing this award to NO ONE!!! Nah, just kidding.

I'm giving this to Mishieru, I'm No Miss, and Janjan. The rules here. Please tell me this I'm the first one to give you this.

Second, pretty Sami from Sami by the Sea tagged me so here is my...

"Me in 3s."

Three names I go by:

1. Jeanette - my real name.

2. Gnetch - of course, you know this already.

3. Jenny - my childhood nickname.

Three jobs I've had:

1. Medical transcriptionist - my present job.

2. Jewelry designer - my small business.

3. HR assistant - my very first job.

Three places I have lived:

Meh. I've been living in this house since I was born. Is that a suckass or what?

Three fave drinks:

1. Starbucks Honey Orange Mocha Frappe.

2. Milk tea.

3. Any vodka based drink.

Three TV shows I watch:

1. Glee.

2. Reruns of Friends.

3. Anything funny - It's not a TV show title. I just can't think of a third TV show so I said I like anything that's funny.

Three places I've been:

I travel a lot. I love to go on vacations. Though I've never been outside the country which is effing frustrating.

1. Puerto Galera

2. Baguio - I go there a lot because I like the weather there.

3. Vigan

I tried to remove 3 people from this photo so excuse the blurry background.

Three places I would like to visit:

1. South Korea

2. New Zealand - I'd like to see the shooting location of the Lord of the Rings.

3. Singapore - Only because I'd like to try G-max.


(Excuse me, I don't have suicidal tendencies. Thank you.)

Three favorite retro TV shows:
Like Sami, I don't get what retro means but whatever.
1. Charmed.
2. Doogie Howser, M.D.
3. Beverly Hills 90210

Three favorite dishes:
Nothing in particular. I eat anything.

Three things I'm looking forward to:
1. Getting a new job.
2. Me time where I can go on vacation out of the country just by myself and see how it's like.
3. Weekends.

Three people I'm tagging:
1. Zac
2. TbR
3. Sweta

Okay, I think this post is long enough. I'll post my another "Is It Just Me" after this. So maybe, if my brain and body permits, I'd be able to blog twice today.

Or maybe not.

I'm sleepy already.

Whatever.

Oh, guess what? I didn't say "anyway" here. Not even once. Man, I must be improving!

Anyway. Anyway. Anyway. Anyway. Anyway. Anyway. Anyway. Anyway. Anyway. Anyway. Anyway. Anyway. Anyway. Anyway. Anyway. Anyway.....

Or not.

UPDATE: My "Is it just me" post will be posted tomorrow. I'm really sleepy. Also, I added the G-max video so you can see what I'm talking about.

Another Great Idea To Make Life Easier For Lazy People

I didn't go to work today. I woke up 2 hours late and I was really lazy.

But hey, I had a busy day at work yesterday. I was tired. And sleep deprived.

Which brought me to an idea of another leave.

You remember the day when I had pimples and I didn't want to go to work so I thought there should be a Pimple Leave? Because Sick Leave didn't seem appropriate for pimples? Like, would you call in sick because you have pimples? No. Right? So there should be a Pimple Leave.

That got me nowhere.

But I have another GREAT idea!

A Lazy Leave. Sounds good?

I know. There are times when we feel heavy, disoriented, sleepy, uninterested in everything -- hey, we're just normal people. Let's face it. When we force ourselves to go to work even if we don't feel like it, we are not as productive as compared to when we are MOTIVATED to go to work.

When I feel like going to work, I'm very productive. And I can think straight.

Unlike when I'm lazy. I'm telling you. When I'm lazy, I do these at work:

♦Space out.

♦Read blogs.

♦Comment on blogs.

♦Join 20sb discussions (except when the questions require long answers).

♦Browse the Internet.

♦Stalk people on Twitter.

♦Stalk people on Facebook (and I have 2 Facebook accounts).

[photo credit]

♦Chat.

♦Stand up, go to the ladies' room, powder my nose (or pee. Whatever).

♦Make myself a cup of coffee even if I don't feel like drinking coffee.
 

♦Talk to a coworker.

♦Space out again.

♦Hate mutant boss. Oh, that's not part of my laziness. Sorry about that. It just came out.

So, you see? I'm just doing the company a favor. I love my job so much that I don't want my employers to waste money on unproductive people. And I don't want to waste the company's electricity because of me being there, doing nothing important.

[photo credit]

Right?

So Lazy Leave should be legalized.

I'm just making life easier for everyone.

But that's just PMS talking.

Note: If you're a coworker but not a friend and for some reason you found out that I blog and you're reading this now, this is just some sort of sick humor. So don't you dare use this against me. DON'T. EVEN. TRY. Bitch.

Is it just me or...

So I was Facebook chatting with a friend yesterday and I was ranting about how I desperate I was to get a new job, that I hated mutant boss, and that another super coworker friend has already resigned, and I wanted to do the same but I couldn't find the job that I want on the Internet... blah blah blah...

So this friend I was chatting with, for some reason, felt the need to end every sentence with this emoticon:

Well, our conversation was not entirely about my rants. We of course made jokes, made fun of each other... You know. The usual.

But that emoticon got on my nerves a little bit.

Hey, it's PMS season. You all know me when it's that time of the month.

So anyway, as I have said, this friend ended their sentences with that emoticon.

Like EVERY. FUCKING. SENTENCE.

Even "Hahaha... :/"

See how inappropriate that looked?

It's hard to really understand what they actually meant with that emoticon, you know?

Here are some examples of their sentences:

"Why don't you ask your friend in China? :/"

I interpreted it as: "Why don't you ask your friend in China? (Excuse me, I'm about to fart)."

"Stop working then. Find a boyfriend. :/"

I interpreted it as: "Stop working then. Find a boyfriend. (A monster bit my foot and I'm trying not to scream)."

"Hahaha... :/"

I interpreted it as: "Hahaha... (I suddenly had a stroke)."

"Oh, you're really crazy. Hahaha-haha... :/"

I interpreted it as: "Oh, you're really crazy. Hahaha-haha... (half of my face is now paralyzed)."

"Oh. Okay then. Bye. :/"

I interpreted it as: "Oh. Okay then. Bye. (The stroke was severe. I'm now dead)."

Is it just me?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In other news:

So there has been a rumor that Justin Bieber is a girl, right? Because he looks like a lesbian? So to prove you all wrong, here's a picture of Justin Bieber and the BOY who looks just like him.

Do yourself a favor. DO NOT click to enlarge.

Fine. Click to enlarge.

You're all so mean, guys. He IS a boy, okay?

Um yeah, that's all.

Please Don't Give Me A Dog On My Birthday

Because I know for sure that I won't be a good dog owner.

Not that I hate dogs. I don't. I find dogs cute. Other people's dogs. But not mine. Na-uh.

I really don't think I was born to be a dog owner. Guy friend made me realize it. Remember the Guy Friend I "ran over?" Yes. Him.

So we talked over the phone (because he lives waaaaaayyyy too far from me).

Our conversation SORT OF went like this:

Sort of because he said I made him sound like a douchebag-slash-loser on my PMS post.

So dude, I will TRY to make you sound AWESOME this time.

Okay.

Guy Friend: Your birthday is in 2 months! Dude, you're old!

Me: We're like the same age. If I'm old, then you're old too.

Guy Friend: (Note sarcasm) Too bad I can't be there in time for your birthday. I was gonna give you something. But you know. I have to work. My boss can't do it without me. You know I'm that smart.

Me: Right. You're smart. And we have FedEx. You didn't think of that?

Guy Friend: Do they deliver animals? I was gonna send you a puppy.

He wasn't serious guys, okay?

Me: It's worth a try. I'd name the dog after you.

Guy Friend: *Laughs* You're mean! Then I'd give you a girl puppy.

Me: I'd still name it after you.

Then a sudden AWESOME idea came to me.

Me: Wait. I'd name it Lisa!* Hahaha.

(*The hate texter/stalker/crazy girl who is obsessed over her foot boyfriend).

Guy Friend: You're really mean. That would be unfair.

Me: *Fakes guilt* Yeah. Unfair. To the dog.

Guy Friend: I've changed my mind. I'm just gonna give you a crocodile. If FedEx accepts that.

I TRIED to make you sound awesome, my friend. I really did. I just can't make miracles happen. I'm not David Blaine.

Anyway, after that conversation, you would have realized why I said I'm gonna be an awful dog owner.

Especially if I named it LISA.

Because let's face it. Lisa is weird. And SOME dogs do weird stuff. Stuff that I never bothered to understand.

They eat their own poop.

They refuse to take a bath.

They sniff and lick stuff.

Right?

To make it clear for you, here are my possible reactions to some possible scenarios:

The dog eats its poop. My reaction would be, "LIIIISSSSSSAAAAAAA!!!! You're eating your POOP again??? You're so disgusting!"

The dog refuses to take a bath. My reaction would be, "What? LISA, you smell horrible! Look at you! You look like a sad hooker dog! Go take a bath!"

The dog sniffs and licks somebody's foot. Now, you can all see where this is going, can't you?

"LISA??? What are you, crazy SMELLING and LICKING that foot? What's wrong with you?"

So now, would you all agree that I CANNOT be an awesome dog owner?

This dog's got class.
[got this picture here]

Is it just me or that picture is kinda disturbing?

Excuse Me, Is There Something Wrong With Your Eyes?

I'm not a celebrity.

But of course, you know that already. I just wanted to say it.

And since I'm not a celebrity, there are some things celebrities do that I don't understand.

Such as SQUINTING.

CONSTANT SQUINTING...

OVER-SQUINTING...

ANNOY-GNETCH-EVEN-MORE SQUINTING...

So why do some celebrities feel the NEED to squint?

I made a list of possible reasons.

1. Those squints are unintentional (Good enough. But that's a boring sentence).
2. They think it makes them cute.
3. They ate something really sour at the time the picture was taken.
4. They love sour foods so much that it became a horrible habit to make a sour face even if they're not eating such food.
5. They smelled something really awful at the time they got the picture taken.   

Well, number 5 is not very likely. I think. I mean, personally, when I smell something dreadfully poop-ish, my eyes would (normally) get watery and my nose would crinkle with disgust. And my lungs would probably file a Lung Abuse case against me because I allowed them to take in such a deadly odor.

Okay. That was a horrible thought.

What if my lungs decided to kill me?

Shit. I'll save that thought for my next post.

Anyway, here are some celebrities who squint a lot.

Renee Zellweger

    

Taylor Swift

Chad Michael Murray

David Caruso a.k.a. Horatio Caine (without the shades).

Oh wait.

Go back up.

Just a little bit.

Don't you think Chad Michael Murray and David Caruso look alike?

Not in the separated-at-birth kinda thing. More like when Chad grows old, he'd look like H himself!

Look at their pictures. Go! Don't be scared shy.

See?

And look. Even Google agrees!

[photo credit]

I just ruined someone's fantasy, didn't I?

My Hate Texter: The (almost) Whole Story

You remember my hate texter? That crazy girl who has a foot for a boyfriend? Yes? So you wanna hear how it all started?

No?

Damn!

Okay then, bye!

Kidding. I'll tell you anyway.

This is an update. Sort of.

I'd like to share some of the texts she has sent me. Read them C-A-R-E-F-U-L-L-Y.

First, let's call her by the name Lisa*.

You can imagine her looking like this:

[clipart]

"Hey, had a nice time chatting with Jerry yesterday?"

• I ignored this text because I thought she sent it to me by mistake. And who the fuck was Jerry? At that time, I didn't know that foot-looking guy had a name. Wait. Let me correct that. Of course he had a name. He IS human! How could I forget little details like that! Okay. At that time, I didn't know the guy's name. There. Sounds better.

"What, Jeanette? (ohnoyoudidn'tjustcallmethat!) Did you two have a fun time? I'm actually glad that you are hitting it off. I like it when MY BOYFRIEND gets along with my friends."

• Now this made me realize that this girl - Lisa - is in fact, crazy. Because we are not friends! No, I'm just kidding. I realized she was crazy because I didn't even look at Foot Guy. Not even a GLANCE. And what's up with the MY BOYFRIEND in all caps?

"Nice pictures, huh."

• I was like, "What pictures?" This made me call our common friend. I asked her what Lisa's problem was. She said she'd ask. Then she called me back and told me that Lisa thought I was flirting with Foot Guy when I sang "Underneath Your Clothes" on karaoke (I know. Shut up.). And the GROUP pictures we didn't even know Foot Guy took made her hate me even more. Apparently, that song was HER song for HIM when their relationship was just starting (and I just threw up in my mouth). Damn! I should've asked for her permission first. My mistake!

And that made me decide to blog it.

So anyway, want more text messages from her?

"Are you stupid that you don't even know how to text?"

• Because I wasn't texting her back.

"I knew you were faking it when you said it was nice to see me again."

• Well, I did actually say that to her. But it was more like, "It's so nice of you to come," or something. I didn't want her to feel awkward because aside from Foot Guy and our common friend, I was the only person she knew at that party. But that was the only thing I said to her. I think.

Damn! These text messages sound less intense when translated to English! Oh well. I got more crazy texts from this Lisa girl but I've deleted them already. But it came to a point that I almost wanted to follow Ashley's advice: Next time she msgs you remind her that her boyfriends thinking about you when he's banging her!

Hmmm... I still think that this IS a good idea. And I know you're all gonna say, "That girl is crazy!" But honestly, I feel sorry for Lisa. She has issues. And she's young. Yes, she's like 19 or so. I actually want to give her a gift to let her know that I'm a NICE person. And she has stopped texting me so I don't need to, you know, get back on her. That's like CHILDISH. (Right.)

Now, I need you guys to help me pick out a gift for her. Lisa is slender and maybe 3 inches taller than me. I think this jacket would look good on her:

A straitjacket. What do you guys think?

*REAL NAME! Hahaha! (so much for the "no need to get back at her.")

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WAIT!

I just need to do this.

I'd like to say thanks to Andhari! You really, really surprised me, I got nauseous! No. Just kidding. But THANK YOU!

And to the two others who voted - *whispers* your checks will arrive tomorrow. Shhh...

OKAY! I'm Forgetful. Sue Me! (updated)

I admit it. I'm forgetful. Just a little bit but still...

...

Damn! I just forgot what I was about to say.

Okay. No post today. I forgot my topic.

JUST KIDDING!

But I'd like to ask, ARE YOU FORGETFUL?

Because I am.

I said that already. I know.

Anyway, I just forgot a friend's birthday the other day and I was totally embarrassed!

*Update: What makes this matter worse is that she texted me 2 weeks before her birthday to invite me to her party. I said I wasn't sure if I'd be able to and she was like, "Okay. Just tell me if you can come."*

Some friend you are.

I can hear you, jerk!

Okay. I have never actually forgotten birthdays before. I use the calendar on my phone to remind me. And I always give something. If you're a super friend -- someone who ALWAYS gives me birthday presents  -- (haha!), I'd give YOU a gift. If you're just a kinda friend (a coworker maybe), I'd at least send a text message or write on your Facebook wall.

Unless I really never knew your birthday, or you're someone I know but never really had a conversation with. Then don't expect any birthday greetings from me. That would be really stupid!

Anyway, here's my excuse: I WORK NIGHT SHIFTS. So what's daytime to my friends is nighttime to me. You know? I sleep before noon! It's like were in different time zones. So usually, when my brain-abusive cellphone's alarm goes off to remind me of something, I am sound asleep. (Actually, for some reason, her birthday is not on my calendar. But don't tell her that). But seriously, since I've been on night shift, dates have been kind of confusing to me. Because for example, tonight, April 3rd, I woke up at around 10 p.m. and then I had dinner, watched a little TV, and suddenly, TADAAAAA! It's April 4th! That's why I kinda suck at keeping track with dates right now. So I don't even try anymore.

So you understand my predicament?

Yes. Lately, I've been calendarly impaired.

But I'm gonna text her.

Now, let me just try to remember where I put my cellphone.

Maybe This Will Make You Shut Up... I Hope

Honestly, I'm not a big fan of self-centered, conceited, people or those who have this inflated idea of their worth. But of course, who is?

 [clipart]

I know someone like this. I'm assuming you do, too. So I would like to share with you a few tips on how to make this kind of person stop telling you stories about their importance.

Let's call this person Narcy (for narcissistic).

Let's say, Narcy is a girl. But she can be a boy too. Whatever suits you.

Conversation I:

Narcy doesn't have a job and tries to put you down because you are actually employed and she needs to do this to make herself feel better.

Narcy: Those people working their asses off are crazy. They are stupid. They wouldn't be rich just by being employed. They SHOULD put up a business. Not get a job. 

You: (Ask innocently, like you really want to know) You have a business? No? You have a job? No?

***************

Conversation II:

Narcy considers herself a photographer just because she has an SLR camera and she loves taking pictures.
You and Narcy looking at an amateur model's picture.

Narcy: She shouldn't be a model. Models should have that X-Factor. I won't take her picture.

You: (In an as-a-matter-of-fact kinda way) Yeah. I heard only photographers take a model's picture.

***************

Conversation III:

In a coffee shop, out of nowhere, brings this up:

Narcy: (In a very proud manner) Someone has been sending me a message on Facebook, asking me if I want to become a model. I already said no but he keeps on asking.

You: (Of course, you would know if this is true or not, especially if Narcy is just 4'11" and not at all modelesque) Someone has been e-mailing me, asking me to become president of the country.

***************

Okay, I can only give you 3 tips for now because my mind is not working properly. I'm sick. Seriously. I'm not feeling well. But I'm not on crack. Although I accuse almost everyone of you being on crack. Or everyone you talk about on your posts. For some reason. I don't know.

Anyway, how did I turn this post into about cracks??

Going back to my topic, am I the only one irritated by this kind of person? How arrogant can people get just to feel better about themselves? Do they really have to brag? Or to make up stories? Do you know someone like this? Can you share some situations that I can add to this list?

Thank you.

Oh! I just remembered something. If Narcy says -- and by says, I mean brags -- something and you cannot think of a good answer for her/him to shut up, you can just say, in your most disgusted facial expression,

"Fuck! Did someone just fart?"

Let's see if THAT don't shut her/him up.

My related post HERE.