The Undeniable Superhuman Strength

Confession: I have an incredible ninja/superhuman strength. I really do. Ask anyone! The thing is, I can't control it yet so I can't use it every time I need it.

My superhuman abilities seem to demonstrate itself at the wrong time, all the time.

There was this one time when I was using my friend's laptop.

So I'm a fast typist. YES. I am. Seriously. But it's not my bionic typing abilities we're talking about here. We're talking about SERIOUS superhuman strength. My fingers, when typing too fast, tend to hit the keyboard hard; the keys make loud sounds when I hit them. (I had to modify these two sentences many times so you won't have the chance to turn them into a TWSS joke. Pervs.)

Anyway, as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted by my own brain, I was using a friend's laptop once and he commented, "Hey it's a laptop, not a typewriter."

And then it hit me.

I have superhuman strength. Strength that I can't control.

Then I remembered a few instances in the past where I lost control of my superhuman strength.

Like this one time when I was on a vacation with my friends. We were in a hotel room and I woke up really early to take a shower. I always wake up the earliest when I'm with my friends because I don't like it when they knock on the bathroom door yelling, "HEY!!!! What's taking you so long?! We're leaving in 10 minutes!!!"

Seriously.

So anyway, I went in to the bathroom and there was a sliding glass door. Of course, in order to get in the shower, I had to slide the door open.

I broke the super heavy sliding glass door.

Undeniable SUPERHUMAN STRENGTH.

Another example: It happened when I was in college. I was with this guy that I was going out with at the time. The thing with this dude is that he loved to tickle when he's becoming boring we run out of things to talk about.

Okay, wait. Let me tell you this: It's not a good idea to surprise me with a tickle. NOT. A. GOOD. IDEA. Ever.

So we were sitting on a bench, things were quiet, I was people watching, looking at the trees and stuff and suddenly, he decided to tickle me! The stupid bastard.

Note: The actual situation happened in like 2 seconds. Like, TICKLE-SHOCK-HIT. I repeat: TICKLE-SHOCK-HIT.

AND THEN, WITHOUT THINKING, I HIT HIM.

I didn't intend to. My hand just flew and hit his thigh. It was just a tap, though. OR SO I THOUGHT. He had to have an above-the-knee amputation right after.

Well okay, not really. It wasn't THAT hard but still. It made a loud sound, like the one you hear in the movies. And my tiny hand left a red mark on his thigh. I felt guilty, of course. I felt like I Rihanna-ed him.

But he learned his lesson.

Another proof: I use a travel toothbrush all the time. I have one at home, I have one at work, I have one in my bag... So anyway, you know how travel toothbrushes are, right? The cover also serves as the handle. So I was one using one at home one night after I was done, I realized that I pushed the upper half of the toothbrush into the handle too hard because I couldn't pull it out.

I can't explain it. Watch this video and you'll see how an ordinary travel toothbrush kind CONFIRMED my suspicion that I have an incredible strength.

See?

Now, I need an awesome superhero name. Any suggestions?

Do you have a superhuman strength too? If you do, well I think we're the new Justice League. Or Power Rangers. Or X-Men.

Yeah, whatever.

In a somewhat related news, want to know my reaction when I was watching my own video?

No? I'll show you anyway.

Yup. This.

I'll try to do better next time. Worst and most awkward video blog ever, just for you.

You're welcome.