My superhuman abilities seem to demonstrate itself at the wrong time, all the time.
There was this one time when I was using my friend's laptop.
So I'm a fast typist. YES. I am. Seriously. But it's not my bionic typing abilities we're talking about here. We're talking about SERIOUS superhuman strength. My fingers, when typing too fast, tend to hit the keyboard hard; the keys make loud sounds when I hit them. (I had to modify these two sentences many times so you won't have the chance to turn them into a TWSS joke. Pervs.)
Anyway, as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted by my own brain, I was using a friend's laptop once and he commented, "Hey it's a laptop, not a typewriter."
And then it hit me.
I have superhuman strength. Strength that I can't control.
Then I remembered a few instances in the past where I lost control of my superhuman strength.
Like this one time when I was on a vacation with my friends. We were in a hotel room and I woke up really early to take a shower. I always wake up the earliest when I'm with my friends because I don't like it when they knock on the bathroom door yelling, "HEY!!!! What's taking you so long?! We're leaving in 10 minutes!!!"
So anyway, I went in to the bathroom and there was a sliding glass door. Of course, in order to get in the shower, I had to slide the door open.
I broke the super heavy sliding glass door.
Undeniable SUPERHUMAN STRENGTH.
Another example: It happened when I was in college. I was with this guy that I was going out with at the time. The thing with this dude is that he loved to tickle when
Okay, wait. Let me tell you this: It's not a good idea to surprise me with a tickle. NOT. A. GOOD. IDEA. Ever.
So we were sitting on a bench, things were quiet, I was people watching, looking at the trees and stuff and suddenly, he decided to tickle me! The stupid bastard.
Note: The actual situation happened in like 2 seconds. Like, TICKLE-SHOCK-HIT. I repeat: TICKLE-SHOCK-HIT.
AND THEN, WITHOUT THINKING, I HIT HIM.
I didn't intend to. My hand just flew and hit his thigh. It was just a tap, though. OR SO I THOUGHT. He had to have an above-the-knee amputation right after.
Well okay, not really. It wasn't THAT hard but still. It made a loud sound, like the one you hear in the movies. And my tiny hand left a red mark on his thigh. I felt guilty, of course. I felt like I Rihanna-ed him.
But he learned his lesson.
Another proof: I use a travel toothbrush all the time. I have one at home, I have one at work, I have one in my bag... So anyway, you know how travel toothbrushes are, right? The cover also serves as the handle. So I was one using one at home one night after I was done, I realized that I pushed the upper half of the toothbrush into the handle too hard because I couldn't pull it out.
I can't explain it. Watch this video and you'll see how an ordinary travel toothbrush kind CONFIRMED my suspicion that I have an incredible strength.
Now, I need an awesome superhero name. Any suggestions?
Do you have a superhuman strength too? If you do, well I think we're the new Justice League. Or Power Rangers. Or X-Men.
In a somewhat related news, want to know my reaction when I was watching my own video?
No? I'll show you anyway.