Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Sexy Time (May or may not involve flashing. Oh, and other sexy things.)

There's probably some weird rumor going on around the net about me. Like, I think people are saying I'm a dude.

No?

SO WHY DO I KEEP GETTING E-MAILS OFFERING ME PENIS ENLARGEMENT AND VIAGRA???

Oh, you want proof???

So I had to blur my other E-mail address because I use this one for professional things. I know, right?

I've also been getting spams from pimps asking me to learn about the "closed itches of my horny girlfriend" and "meet plennyy of ladiez."








Closed itches? Ew.
*****









*****







 *****
 
 *****
I can't even...

But thank you for making me feel less stupid about my typos, asshole.

FYI, spammers?

I'M A GIRL OKAY?!!!! Do I have to remind you every time???

So what? Should I dress like a guy now so it's not so weird for you? Because I'm totally thinking about your feelings here.

 
Do you like my moustache???
 

  
How about my Bieber hair???

Oh yeah, and that dude behind me is totally jealous.

Should I start dressing like this?
I look totally cute as a guy.
And do I have to get to know porn stars by name now?
 

I'm so hot when I'm angry. Those teeth! Dang!
See that censored picture? 

I. AM. A. GIRL.

Got it?

Also, Google (and other search engines) my blog is not a porn site, remember?

Stop leading people here when they are looking for porn sites!!!

The blue ones are from Google Analytics. The green ones are from StatCounter.

Okay. I take that back. I kind of love these search keywords. Honestly. That's why I keep reviewing them. I mean, is there any other blog that attracts a person who looks for nude frontal pictures of Danny Devito? None!!!

I'm kind of expecting more perverted keywords after this post.

So share your search keywords! Make everyone laugh.

So I'm not really THAT angry. I'm just, you know. Overdramatic. And bored. Soooo...
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© 2010 by Gnetch at 2:39 AM
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24 comments:

  1. RiaNovember 29, 2011 at 6:09 AM

    I swear the Megan Fox thing was not me. Also, I've thought of spamming the spammers back, and FWing stuff to them. But then I'm too bored to.
    *sigh*

    ps.My spammers send me things about Mormon dating, Christian dating, Maid services, Cleaning ladies, Cheap cruises, Nursing opportunities and the list can go on.

    ReplyDelete
  2. JessicaNovember 29, 2011 at 6:11 AM

    I have had an absurd amount of spam saying "Christmas is coming" as the subject and then being about discount viagra and cialis. On all three of my email accounts. Like 20 each. And I'm also a female. And why do spammers have such bad grammar and spelling? They're making themselves look bad, or worse, I guess.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm With StupidNovember 29, 2011 at 6:13 AM

    That Bieber hair is just too sexy for words. *right click - save*

    Oh yeah baby! ;-p

    Jay

    ReplyDelete
  4. GiaNovember 29, 2011 at 6:39 AM

    Hahahah. Spam thinks I'm a boy too. I figure either
    A. They assume everyone is a boy, cuz there's no girl equivalent to viagra or "finding sexxxy ladiez for gud timezz."

    B. You've looked at porn and/or naked ladies. Apparently ONLY men should look at those things. If you look at naked dudes, you'll probably get gay-man spam.

    These are my (baseless) theories.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ty ♥ KeLLsNovember 29, 2011 at 6:58 AM

    DON'T EVER GIVE YOURSELF BIEBER HAIR EVER AGAIN. I almost had a god damn heart attack. SERIOUSLY.

    And I agree with you, I feel liek a cheap whore sometimes when people google and find my blog. You remember the one search, "How do you feel when fucking a chubby?" ... But now a lot of people are finding my blog by googling about hermaphrodites and Lady Gaga. lesigh..

    Also, the one search, "Don't say no, no, no, no. Just say ye, ye, ye, ye." Even though yeah is spelled Y-E-A-H, I digress, I think they were actually searching for the Bruno Mars song Marry You. The only reason I know/think that is because I'm addicted to this song and have listened to it a total of 427.5 times since I purchased it on iTunes liek 3 months ago.

    Then again, after looking at all your other searches, it probably was a search for a porno film's 'screenplay'.

    "Give it to me daddy. Say ye, ye, ye, ye."

    And one more thing..

    DON'T EVER WEAR BIEBER HAIR EVER AGAIN.

    Love you :D
    I'll have to go on my timeline and compare googles.. Do you think it might have something to do with the fact that we're asian?

    ReplyDelete
  6. The VoxNovember 29, 2011 at 7:52 AM

    Wow I am so sorry people come to your website for creepy purposes and send you really weird/random emails. I get those once in a while too. People are that bored?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sub Radar (Mike)November 29, 2011 at 7:57 AM

    Sup dude, nice post bro. Haha... it's just the way of the internet. For every nice girl there are a trillion horny mouth breathers who want to look up something dirty and offer you penis pills.

    ReplyDelete
  8. RathiNovember 29, 2011 at 4:16 PM

    Actually G, i was thinking about the very same thing.. i have been getting spams saying and i quote "Christmas is going... time to get Viagra...." and i am like... what the f!! what the heck has Christmas to do with Viagra!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. ISRAEL CARRASCONovember 29, 2011 at 5:50 PM

    see what happens when u flood your computer with porn.

    ReplyDelete
  10. hateschildrenNovember 30, 2011 at 5:11 AM

    hahah nice mustache, this post is hilarious!

    http://ifuckinghatechildren.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. UnknownNovember 30, 2011 at 7:19 AM

    Did you scalp Bieber ?
    Did ya ?
    Because if you did ...
    I say, excellent job !

    ReplyDelete
  12. Steve BaileyNovember 30, 2011 at 11:26 AM

    I have full frontal pics of Danny Devito for sale...... but you gotta google search for my website if you want em. If I was you I might try " Creepydudeoutsidedevitosbathroom.com
    That might find me?

    ReplyDelete
  13. A guy named LuluNovember 30, 2011 at 2:51 PM

    :D really! i can see that :) *in a dumbly good way*

    ReplyDelete
  14. RichardDecember 1, 2011 at 8:26 AM

    No slutes here? Darn? LOL

    ReplyDelete
  15. NickiDecember 1, 2011 at 10:59 AM

    Slutes? Itches? ye ye ye? What the hell kind of porn are these kids WATCHING?

    ReplyDelete
  16. TGDecember 2, 2011 at 10:26 PM

    You should take these keywords (those as questions) and draw the answer for them. Would definitely be funny :P

    ReplyDelete
  17. MynameisEarlDecember 4, 2011 at 12:04 AM

    Haters gon' hate...

    Maybe you should stop giving your email address to different websites that want them. Oh, I don't know... forums, online game sites, social networking sites to name a few? Lol.
    But don't worry, I feel your pain bro (I mean sis), I got 47 of those things in one day! Love the drawings btw, so much lulz, reminds me of my bored MSPaint days as a kid :L

    P.S. You're a Filipina aye? :/

    ReplyDelete
  18. Dr. HeckleDecember 6, 2011 at 1:21 PM

    What the hell is "toshio porn?" ...and how did that lead to your site?

    Maybe I need to dig through your archives, hrm? ;P

    ReplyDelete
  19. LorraineDecember 7, 2011 at 2:12 AM

    Damn. Totally sexy as a boy. Also, does this mean you have open itches? Just wondering.

    Lor

    ReplyDelete
  20. William December 8, 2011 at 8:27 AM

    I don't know, I think you looked good with the Beiber hair.... loved it... made me laugh.

    But look at the bright side - the key words brings you visitors?

    ReplyDelete
  21. Master SifuDecember 9, 2011 at 6:29 AM

    Tears from laughter and all the way down, even in reading the the comments.. oh boy.. I need more tisu.

    I came to this page from a recipe image from the blog of note

    I dont search for porn they come to me by them self.. especially the funny ones bwahahaha!~

    @blogger tweeted Blog of note design is mine, landed on blog of note, browsed around.. found recipe png.. click on link OMG here is Hilarious!~

    Keep the good ones comming and thank God xD

    forgot to intro myself... I am Asian, newbie blogger... I only have 2 post on my blog and the Adsense application got disaproved LOL's

    back to school in Help Forum.

    rule #1 read read read

    I need Authors that can contribute to my blog. english material

    thanks in advance!

    ReplyDelete
  22. janjanDecember 17, 2011 at 9:40 PM

    haha! well, maybe, 'thank goodness for the good ones' sounds like a porn site to them??? i don't think so.

    i used to receive those kind of spams in my e-mail before. good thing they're gone now coz i hate spams! (except the canned one.)

    ReplyDelete
  23. zacharyDecember 24, 2011 at 4:36 PM

    hahaha! I get spams all the time!
    Always on drugs prescriptions...

    ReplyDelete
  24. busana muslimJanuary 31, 2012 at 4:39 AM

    hello thanks you for the helpful information

    ReplyDelete

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