Wednesday, September 28, 2011

You're my favorite virtual friend. And we go way back. Remember when we got drunk?

Despite the not so many issues between my bestest Internet friend Blogger and I, they decided to make me today's Blog of Note. Which is awesome.

Which means they don't hold grudge. We are really the best of friends. We don't hate each other even when I send them hateful tweets and stuff like that.


Sometimes, I imagine that Blogger is human. And if it were, I'd have a drink with it.

And sometimes, I imagine it as a "he".

Okay. You have a dirty mind! NOT WHAT YOU'RE THINKING!

Because guy friends are sometimes cooler, that's why!

Me: Hey, Bloggidoodle, my favorite virtual friend!!! How are you?

Blogger: (Confused face.) We're not friends. Are we?

Me: (I playfully hit his arm. Very lightly. But Blogger is old and his knees are weak. He falls to the ground.) Ooops! You stupid! Haha! You don't take enough calcium! Your bones are weak! Haha!

B: .....

Me: Okay. Get up. We ARE friends. FRIENDS. F-R-I-E-N-D-S. Friends. You hear? (Blogger sometimes is slow to pick up.) We go way back. Remember?

B: (Thinks really really hard.) No...?

Me: (I hide my impatience.) Okay. Remember when we were drunk, we played Hang Snooki's Brother Upside Down and my friends and I hung you upside down because you look like Snooki? And I was in a superhero costume?

B: I don't remember that! And... Snooki's brother?

Me: Well...? You're orange!

B: ...

Me: Oh! I've seen you pee! In public, you disgusting person, you!!

B: I've never done that!

Me: Oh, really?

That's a statue, by the way. No, I SWEAR!
Me: Don't be embarrassed! That's okay. I accept you. I'm your friend. No ifs, ands, or buts.

B: Why do you keep mocking me?

Me: Mocking? You? No!!! That's called being close friends! Don't take it personally! Don't you think it's awesome that we are in that level of friendship where we can mock each other???

B: I never mocked you!!!

Me: Well...? You can start now.

B: (Blogger, again, is confused. He could really be an idiot sometimes. But don't tell him I said so.) You mean, I can make fun of you? Right now?

Me: That's what I said, you dope! Haha. (I add "haha" so Blogger won't be offended. He's really sensitive and shit.)

B: Okay...? You're short.

Me: Haha! That's cool!

B: Your feet are too small, they could be mistaken for keychains.

Me: (I look at my feet. I look back at Blogger and fake a smile.) That's okay. Haha! So. Is it my turn now?

B: (Nervous face.)

Me: Don't worry. I won't mock you. Not now. I love you, my friend. You just made me a Blog of Note. How can I make fun of you? You jump, I jump, remember?

B: I'm really doubting your sincerity. That line is from Titanic!

Me: Okay. You've seen Titanic. Fine. But really, I love you! (Makes a dramatic face.) If you're a bird, then I'm a bird.

B: That's from The Notebook!

Me: You watch too many movies!!!

B: People blog about movies! Of course I know a lot of movies.

Me: You have a point. But still. Why do you doubt me?

B: Okay. I know you. You want something. What do you want?

Me: I don't want anything! Just... Uhm... Maybe let me put Adsense on my blog?

B: You know that's not possible!

Me: (Okay. He's becoming a little smarter.) But I don't do most of those things anymore! Right? I've changed!

B: Can I mock you again?

Me: ...

B: SO????

Me: Look at you, you're being impatient! Haha!!

B: (Taps foot. I'm creating a monster.)

Me: Fine! Go!

B: You're old.

Me: Okay. I'll take it. 29 is old.

B: And you're short.

Me: (Fakes a smile.) You said that already! Haha! You forgot! You must be tired. You want to go rest now? It's past your bedtime.

B: You look 10.
Me: Touche, Blogger. Touche.

I did create a monster!


In my defense, that picture was taken LAST YEAR!

Okay, that didn't really help me.

I was only joking with that kiddie pose.


Dammit. Dammit. Dammit!


On a serious note, I'd like to thank Ratzy and Dr. Heckle for letting me know about this Blog of Note thing. And thanks for the awesome messages. Dammit, you guys! Why are you so awesome?


  1. Hi GG, First and foremost congrats again. This is way beyond awesome. And, with this post, i assume you have come out of your blogger's block is over. so keep going on this note.


  2. Hey GG, Congrats. Love your style. It's way out there and you don't pull any punches which is why I like you. I am now following this very good excuse for a blog. If you like chocolate which I know a person of your caliber does then please follow my blog @

  3. @Ratzy - Thanks sooooo much! And look, someone started calling me GG now!!! Noooooooo!!!! :D

    @Foodies - I love chocolates when I'm PMS-ing. Thanks so much!!! (Please don't call me GG *puppy-dog eyes*) :)

  4. Such a funny blog to wake up to this morning! Glad I stumbled here. "I'm really doubting your sincerity. That line is from Titanic." Fun stuff; too many blogs are poorly written these days.

  5. Congrats on the "Blog of Note" thing! That's freaking awesome. Great job Sunshine! ;-)

    - Jay

  6. Good stuff. Seriously made me giggle... although that pic with Blogger publicly urinating actually made me lol, but for real. Now back to my own blog! *wanders away* (^_^)

  7. Makes me wonder if my adsense is in order or if I'm in some sort of violation!

    Blogger dangling from a rope! That's great! Fun post!


    Blogger, man! I forgive you for all those times you crashed on me! Those times you ate my post and weirdly pixelated my images!

    Because you have grrrrrrrrreat taste in blogs, my friend!


    Now, let's stop the caps lock bullshit and GET OUR DRINK ON.

  9. OMG, Oh My, Congratulations!!! I am very happy for you. You're one of a kind!

  10. wow! u were made a blog of note?!!! that's so epic! u deserve it though :) *hugs*

  11. Omgeee. so funny, seriously made me giggleburp. well, maybe just giggle. my soda made me burp after. but you're funny. hearts!


  12. Hooray for the "I get carded at rated r movies!" club. Don't worry, we'll be laughing when all these other bitches are 60 and we look 30. BAM.


  13. Nice work, getting on to "Blog of Note!" Your relationship with Blogger reminds me of my own relationships: a combination of my friends and my husband. Only none of us are orange. (Although we have peed in public.)

    Haha! (<--That's so you and Blogger won't be offended.)

  14. Congratulations on being BoNed. It's how I found you and I'm glad I did. This post is really very very funny.

  15. @Jan - Thank you so much!!

    @Jay - Next step: World domination!

    @Shantelle - I know. He could be a little disgusting sometimes! :p

    @Danjor - Thanks! I never attempted to put Adsense on here because I have violated their terms lots of times already.

    @Nicki - Yes! Let's have a drink. Got Vodka? Also? THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!

    @Will - Thanks!!

    @Sey - Thank you!!!

    @Kitkat - Yes!!! Thank you!!!

    @A Daft - Thanks!!!

    @Jill - Hahahaha! Best comment ever!

    @Lor - I know!! That's a good way to look at it!

    @Anouchka - I'm glad you're not orange. Blogger might think you're related. :))

    @Miss Teacher - I just got BONed! My mom should be proud, right?? Thanks!!

  16. Heya
    Loved your post.
    its soo funny!

  17. Thank you Mr. Blogger Man for bringing this entertaining little ditty to my attention! I only deal in awesome....and this is indeed awesome!

  18. @Anna, Papatigga, and Emma: THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH!!!!! :)

    @ALL (Especially the new followers): Thank you! I'm preparing a picture-heavy post. I still need to finish a few drawings. But I'm not dead.

    Also? You guys are awesome!! Thank you, really!!! I will respond to your emails when I'm done drawing and writing the next post. Thanks all! You're making me fart rainbows like a badass unicorn!!

  19. You are hilarious. A friend of mine sent me the link to your blog. Made my day! That's some funny shit.

  20. wow,you're cool and funny, love you ;)