You know what's annoying? When you know someone who's secretly a bitch but they don't know it because they think they're nicest person on earth but when you're talking to them, it's like they're not listening because they're too caught up with themselves but they don't even know that they're being self-centered and all you can do is imagine that you're punching them in the mouth to make them stop talking.
Also, when they want to hang out, they would ask you for suggestions but when you say what you want to do, they'd be like, "No. What I have in mind is... SPA!!!"
And you'd be like, "Oh. That."
And they'd be all, "I was at a spa last week and it was like OH MY GOD super fun... BLAH-BLAH-BLAH..."
It's not that you hate going to a spa but it's not really your idea of fun. But their decision is final.
Also, you are pissed because they don't listen to you when you teach them how to pronounce your name correctly and they stick to how they want to call you. And it's super lame.
Also when they keep insisting that you are just lazy that's why you don't hang out when in reality, you just have MORE important things to do (like a doctor's appointment and work?) and they know it. They're just a bad listener.
Also when they keep asking you for ideas just to brush them off because they have BETTER ideas.
Also when they ask you to go to the mall with them because they need to look for cute fashion accessories when they know that you design accessories and they keep saying that they also know how to make accessories (which brings out the question: Then why would you want to go to the mall to look for accessories if you know how to make them?)
So from there, an imaginary situation will take place. In your head. Because it's imaginary. Duh?
You both are at Starbucks and they are talking. You're fed up. You'd think about punching them but you don't want to ruin your manicure. So the best revenge would be to hammer some of their important stuff when they're not looking. Like their Blackberry. Because you don't want to get caught. Say, they go to the ladies' room. You will think: This. Is. My. Chance.
But you can't just do that. You need to make sure the phone breaks into tiny pieces, so tiny to be seen with the naked eye, that they won't even notice that it's there.
So you will measure your strength.
The thing is, you can't trust the strength calculator because the result is written in Comic Sans. Very unprofessional.
But still. Because this is imaginary, you will believe it and you will win.
But! You're not really the type of person who carries a hammer when you go out.
You will change that. Since you need something to defend yourself. Yes. Defend. Yourself. You don't want to listen anymore so that's all you can do.
And next time, you will know what to do.
Thank God for imaginations.
P.S. No. I will not bring a hammer. Don't worry.
(Remember, you *don't* hate them. You're just... uh... sayin'...?)