Saturday, January 30, 2010

I Think You Need A Mirror

I am really in a bad mood. Seriously.

I have these coworkers that are really, really, really getting to my nerves. Three of them to be exact. They are friends. They are just so unbelievably mean and insensitive. Or maybe it's a way for them to feel better about themselves. I don't know. But that's just childish. I mean, their physical flaws will always be there no matter how much they try to criticize others and rub in their faces how thin or how fat they are. Whatever. Get a mirror or something!

Okay, let me explain.

I am 5'1" and I weigh 102 pounds. So yes, I'm on the thin side. I never denied that because I'm very well aware of that, thank you. But these coworkers of mine, every time, and I mean every time, they get the chance, they will tell me that I'm way too thin. But not in a casual way. It's like in a mocking kinda way. Which, of course, makes me look at them and see their flaws even more.

To make it easier for you, I look like this:

And this is my closeup look (sorry, this picture is taken inside a bar) :

But they are trying to convince convince me and apparently themselves that I look like this:

How?

Here are some of the comments they made recently:

They did not exactly say these in English. I'll just translate them for you.

Girl 1: Hey, you're too thin already. You've got to stop dieting. (No one told her that I was dieting. She just assumed that my small frame is a product of self-starvation. Or something like that. Also, we are not close and we are not friends for her to know whether or not I am on a diet.)

This Girl 1 has really made a lot of comments about my frame in the past. Like she told me straight to my face that I refused to gain weight because I was afraid that my boyfriend might leave me. And I don't even have a boyfriend.
There's another night (I work night shifts), I was in the ladies' room, fixing my hair or something. And one of these girls came in, looked at me and commented:

Girl 2: You're getting thinner and thinner. (Apparently, Girl 1 has convinced her that I was on a diet. She (Girl 1) has this way of convincing every one that she knows what she's talking about so that was how she convinced Girl 2.


Anyway, I tried to answer Girl 2 that it's hard for me to gain weight. She totally misinterpreted what I said because she didn't let me finish. She was like, "Hard for you? That's hard? Compare your body to mine and tell me what's hard." I was shocked. Did she just blame me because she was fat?

Then there was Girl 3. (This is actually why I decided to post this. And this is why I'm not in a good mood today.) Last night, we had a little birthday celebration at work so there were food. During the first break, the person celebrating her birthday said we can all start eating. And because I didn't want to hear any comments again from those 3 apparently perfect girls, I did not hesitate to eat the things my doctor told me not to. (There are certain foods that are really REALLY bad for my health.) Good. I did not hear anything. Plus, I really miss normal food because I have been avoiding the "bad stuff" for a couple of months already.

Then the second break came. There were still food to eat. We had to eat again. But I was still full. So Girl 3 said, "Come on, eat again so you can gain weight."

I had my back turned when she said that. So I turned to face them and said, "Who said that? Did you really have to say that?" No one answered. But of course, knowing her for years now, I know her voice. I just thought I had to ask.

I hate to say this but they are overweight. At least Girls 2 and 3 are. Girl 1's weight, I think, is normal for her height. But if you ask me if I care about how they look, no. I don't.

Have I ever commented on them being fat? No.

Have I ever made them feel that they need to go on a diet so they would look better? No.

Did they ever hear me complain that I think I'm fat? No. Because I don't think I am. I KNOW I'M THIN AND IT HAS NEVER BEEN ANYONE'S PROBLEM.

And I never felt the need to insult them because I never cared. And I did not feel the need to comment on things that I know are not relevant.

So they're fat. So what?

So I'm thin. So what?

It just pisses me off that some people think they can feel better about themselves by making others feel miserable. Does calling me too, too-thin-make their fat ass look normal? Hell no! Rubbing it in my face only made me see the things I never cared to even notice before.

What I'm trying to say is that we all have flaws. Okay, I'm not the nicest person in the world. I can be tactless and think I'm being funny. I can throw a tantrum when things get out of hand. I'm not perfect! But rubbing salt to someone's wound is not my style. SO not!

I should end this hatefest here.

Sorry guys, no comedy today. But expect one tomorrow. That's a promise.

And also, do you have similar experiences with "perfect" people? Share your thoughts.

Love you all!!!!!!!!

PS: Just to prove a point, how come Girl 1 always tries to borrow clothes from me if I'm toooooo thin? What gives?

10 comments:

  1. helloooo. just passing through.. and wanted to say you look great. yes, you are thin, but not unhealthily so. i have a friend who has the same build as you and i always tell her she is thin too.. but in a jealous type way.. like "how the hell do you stay so slim!?!?!?" (she eats A LOT!!). some people just don't realise that thin people have feelings too. like no one would ever dare to go up to a fat girl and say "hey, you're fat" but they probably wouldn't hesitate to say "you're skinny" to a thin girl.. life's unfair like that.. but anyway, no matter what, being thin is always better than being fat (my personal opinion anyway), so don't let them get to you.

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  2. Argh... I'm sorry to hear you have to put up with that stuff. :( There's no reason to keep slinging such biting comments at you. Jealousy is a rough thing!

    I was really thin when I was in college and I worked for the activities department, and the head of the dept. was a HUMONGOUS guy... that at every meeting would ask me if I had eaten yet that day... *sigh* Yes, I have, and just because you're the size of the Titanic doesn't make it right to ask if I've had a well thought out breakfast, thanks! :P Sheesh.

    Found you through 20SB! Love your blog! :D

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  3. Gnetch, don't listen to them, you look great. In college, I was the only one of my friends who regularly worked out and they gave me crap for it every once in a while. But I know it was all just them covering up their own insecurities, and you know these girls are doing the same thing. It's a defense mechanism, it's what people do.

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  4. I think you're absolutely adorable, and you don't need to change anything about yourself. All you have to do is be confident with yourself, and say fuck the rest of them. Their opinions don't matter. That's what I think anyway...

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  5. It seems as though they're just jealous. You're thin, but NATURALLY thin and you look perfectly healthy! Don't listen to them, you look fantastic :)

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  6. My SIL has the same problem! She's very thin as well (she has problems with acid reflux, seems similar to you), and she says that when people make comments about how thin she is, it hurts the same as if she had been overweight and they called her fat. Sometimes people can just be so insensitive! I think you look gorgeous and HEALTHY so just brush it off! I'm sure you've heard it a hundred times, but they're just jealous!

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  7. Thanks guys! I really, really, really appreciate your comments. Really! And I totally agree with you all. About the denfense mechanism and stuff. I actually get more positive comments from other people but those 3 are just soooooo annoying already so I just needed to let it out. Thanks a million times!

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  8. Oh hell no! you looked perfectly fine. Screw them. I sissy (no pun intended) punched my friends when they say i'm thin and i look like a girl. I told them i'm 68kg (truth) and they said i'm a good liar. DAng!

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  9. I didn't know you were at the same stage like me. Yeah they are the most irritating people of all. Insecure people. I really hate it when they call me "buto-buto" grrr!!!
    Honestly, i could even strangle that girl with one hand because she is shorter than me and she's thin to me so i always tell her to look in the mirror.

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  10. LMAO!!!

    Fuck em hoe!!! They're just pissed because YOU are way HOTTER than they are!

    You can't take my kids to the bar... Stick them in the closet or something!

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