Thursday, August 2, 2012

Some Things Are Harder Than You Think

You know what sucks?

Life. Life sucks. Especially when you can't decide between what you want and what you need.

Deep, I know.

So here's my problem: I know it's normal for most girls to crave a lot of food when PMS-ing, but compared to the random mood swings and cramps and headaches and body pain and frustrations and that feeling where you just want to strangle everyone who says something stupid, food craving is probably the worst.

Shit is serious. SERIOUS, you hear?

I'm not using PMS as an excuse. That's just the way life is and we just have to roll with it.

Life is complicated. You gotta do what you gotta do. Like, uh, eat.

Sometimes, it's hard to determine if it's hunger that you're feeling or just boredom. I swear, it's the toughest thing in life to figure out.




And I'm not even preggo.

So that, my friends, is a challenge for me. It is a challenge whether to give in or not. So I made a pros and cons chart:


Clearly, depriving myself of my food cravings is a big joke. I'm a joke. At least that's what my brain thinks. Or my tummy thinks. I don't know anymore.

It's true. For example, when I was working the night shifts, there would be times where I would want a cake SO BAD but of course, with my schedule, it was very impossible for me to buy some because the bakeries that sell the awesomest cakes aren't open 24 hours.

And now that I'm working the days (day shift sucks guys. I hate people.), by the end of my shift, I'm usually tired (and I mean REALLY TIRED) to bother to buy.

The thing is, if I didn't get to eat what I'm craving, the thought of it would keep haunting me every day like a ghost of the past, which will make me sob on the inside because nobody loves me.

Wait.

Sorry. Weird flashback.

What the fuck.

So anyway, it's not just cake that does that to me. Sometimes, I crave burgers. HUGE burgers with juicy patties hot off the grill and OHHHHHHHHH... crispy French fries! And pizza! There are times that I even crave food at 4 A.M. On a weekend.

Not that food cravings wake me up. I'm not THAT weird. I stay up late on weekends because of you, Internet people

So when I go on Tumblr and/or Pinterest during these hours, there are always food posts and OH MY GOD...



It's a good thing that we can order fast food online!

But the bad thing? When you order online, you'll have to tell them how much money you're going to give the delivery guy so he can bring the exact change.

What's so bad about that, you ask? Doing that takes about eleventy million inconvenient steps!

Like first, I have to put my laptop down VERY carefully (but not on the bed because it will set my bed on fire).

So I have to think of a safe place to put the laptop.

And then decide to use a book that's big enough to support the laptop but not too big to give the laptop space to breathe fire. I swear, my laptop is a fucking dragon. (If there's not a book nearby, that's another freaking step.)

After that, I have to get the huge blanket off of me.

Then get out of bed.

But then I have to remember where I put my money, which is in my wallet, and my wallet is in my bag. But where the fuck is my bag?

So I have to turn the lights on to look for my bag.

And then space out. It's unavoidable.

Then focus on focusing.

And then I have to eventually find out that the money in my wallet is enough for me to live comfortably for the rest of my life (if I  die the next day).

After finding out that I'm poor, I have to change my mind about ordering food online because that shit is not practical and that I just have to lower my standards and eat whatever food is available in my house.

Then I have to do everything backwards to go back to bed.

After that, I have to fool myself into thinking that I don't want food that badly and remember that binge eating is really bad anyway.

And lastly, sulk and expect the Internet to amuse me.

All that trouble and what do I get? HEARTBREAK.


My life. It's harder than yours. But your milkshake probably brings all the boys to the yard. So yay for you.

I don't want to suffer alone so here are some pictures:


And these:

AND THESE:


I know what you're thinking.

You're welcome.

Can you see these notes? Because these are important but I had to make it small and gray because... I don't know. I just did.
*I found this post in my drafts folder, unfinished. I totally forgot about this.
*The food pics aren't mine. I got them from Tumblr, my home.

Holla if you see these notes because that means you're awesome. If not, you're still awesome.

29 comments:

  1. And then I have to eventually find out that the money in my wallet is enough for me to live comfortably for the rest of my life (if I die the next day). Ha! This had me laughing out loud because it's so true! And yes, I could see the little tiny gray comments at the end. Barely. You're lucky I scrutinize your blog to make sure I don't miss anything! :)

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    1. Haha!!! Thank you!!! Those tiny comments are kind of important but I think it will ruin the post so I made them reaaaaally tiny! :)

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  2. I totally read the tiny gray comments at the end. I thought maybe it was a secret message to me, but it wasn't. Now I'm sad. And, when I'm sad I have to have a great big juicy cheeseburger to make me happy. Sometimes pizza. Every once in a while chicken strips and potato wedges.

    Also, it's possible that these food cravings are just a substitute for other cravings. Just sayin'. ;-p ;-p ;-p ;-p ;-p

    Jay

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    1. Pizza is awesome too!!! It's bad for me but I can't help it.

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  3. You, my dear, are a flower that are missing some sunshine of the day. Times are hard, but you know you will sure clean after yourself as a free and independent woman and be absolutely happy again.

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  4. Now I want a burger... Thanks buttface! ;P

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    1. Bahahaha! You're welcome assbag! :p

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  5. DAMN YOU for those pics at the end!!!

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  6. Whoa. That is total food porn. Is that legal??
    haha.
    I get cravings all the time. It's ridonkulous. If I'm not satisfied those cravings can last up to a week - at least!!
    Worst thing is when you give in and then the food you were craving doesn't even hit the spot or the people made it wrong or something.

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    1. Haha! It is legal!!

      Oh, and me too!!! OH MY GOODNESS! I even get kind of stabby sometimes when the food don't taste the way I think it should!

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  8. I am lazy too and my food cravings drive my family crazy! My mum says I act like a pregnant woman. :p
    Glad to know someone else shares their 'annoying' trait too!

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    1. I do act like a pregnant woman sometimes when I'm PMS-ing!! XD

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  9. Noooooooo now I want cheesecake and burgers !
    Cravings suck. I have a particular weak spot for crisps. I'll try to change my mind and be healthy and eat some lame snack instead to appease the craving. Sadly this tactic usually fails as I spend the next few hours after lame snack thinking about crisps and I eventually give in.

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    Replies
    1. I know. When food cravings strike, all you can do is just give in. Food wins. Every time.

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  10. I want that burger all over my face! All the time!!

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    1. It looks really delish, doesn't it???

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  11. Yup, can see the notes... and all those pictures? You make me hungry now! ughhh

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    1. Haha! Good!! My work is done here! :p

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  12. "You eventually give in. But thank you for trying...!"

    haha!! :D That totally made me rofl... you poor thing! Oh, woe for all us women! Which I totally feel your pain right now, because I am currently in that time of the month, if ya get my drift.. lol Talk about irony...right there at ya!! :))

    SOOOOOO glad you came back! I was just about to post on your FB page and annoy the heck outta you if you didn't post soon. But you got ahead of me and posted this, so I guess it was good for you. You might have ended up hating me. Or loving me, since me going to that elaborate length t get your attention HAS to be flattering. Right? Yes??

    p.s. Have a lovely weekend, doll! :)

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    Replies
    1. Oh, I will never hate you! You can bombard me with "are you dead" messages all the time, I'll just love more and more! Haha!

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  13. That is one good lookin' burger.

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  14. wow good job on the pringles can drawing. :)

    and don't let food break your heart! food's a jerk..

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  15. I freakin' LIVE to eat! I am not even joking. It is my favorite hobby of all time. I absolutely loved being pregnant cuz I could use it as an excuse for my cravings.

    Today I watched that indie documentary, "Jiro Dreams of Sushi" so of course after that movie, all I wanted was freakin' sushi...but I never got my hands on any. It's been all I could think about for the rest of the evening. I'm sure I'll wake up to pee in the middle of the night at 3am and in my half sleeping/half waking state I'll be haunted by the thought of sushi. If I don't get any tomorrow I just might combust. UGH! Sushi!! GET IN MY MOUTH!!!

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  16. Now I'm hungry. I fucking hate you. BTW nice blog. No for real it's awesome. I'll be back. Stalker. Peace.

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  17. I DO THE SAME THING! I can't tell if it's hunger or boredom! And that, ladies and gents, is why I'm a billion pounds overweight! I EAT FOR FUN! Also: if you think Pinterest is bad...try editing stories about food all. day. long. Your brain will explode. I started packing lunch AND dinner in my lunchbox.

    I'm not proud.

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  18. This is me holla-ing because I saw the notes. Also, I'm pretty sure that logically giving into your food cravings when you first have them is better for you than waiting and trying not to give in. Because if you give in after waiting days or even weeks, then you will eat massive amounts more of whatever it is you craved than if you just get it when you first crave it. That's the excuse I tell myself anyway :)

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  19. Nice article.This is very nice article and impressive home page
    Appartement à vendre casablanca

    ReplyDelete