Some Things Are Harder Than You Think

You know what sucks?

Life. Life sucks. Especially when you can't decide between what you want and what you need.

Deep, I know.

So here's my problem: I know it's normal for most girls to crave a lot of food when PMS-ing, but compared to the random mood swings and cramps and headaches and body pain and frustrations and that feeling where you just want to strangle everyone who says something stupid, food craving is probably the worst.

Shit is serious. SERIOUS, you hear?

I'm not using PMS as an excuse. That's just the way life is and we just have to roll with it.

Life is complicated. You gotta do what you gotta do. Like, uh, eat.

Sometimes, it's hard to determine if it's hunger that you're feeling or just boredom. I swear, it's the toughest thing in life to figure out.

And I'm not even preggo.

So that, my friends, is a challenge for me. It is a challenge whether to give in or not. So I made a pros and cons chart:

Clearly, depriving myself of my food cravings is a big joke. I'm a joke. At least that's what my brain thinks. Or my tummy thinks. I don't know anymore.

It's true. For example, when I was working the night shifts, there would be times where I would want a cake SO BAD but of course, with my schedule, it was very impossible for me to buy some because the bakeries that sell the awesomest cakes aren't open 24 hours.

And now that I'm working the days (day shift sucks guys. I hate people.), by the end of my shift, I'm usually tired (and I mean REALLY TIRED) to bother to buy.

The thing is, if I didn't get to eat what I'm craving, the thought of it would keep haunting me every day like a ghost of the past, which will make me sob on the inside because nobody loves me.

Wait.

Sorry. Weird flashback.

What the fuck.

So anyway, it's not just cake that does that to me. Sometimes, I crave burgers. HUGE burgers with juicy patties hot off the grill and OHHHHHHHHH... crispy French fries! And pizza! There are times that I even crave food at 4 A.M. On a weekend.

Not that food cravings wake me up. I'm not THAT weird. I stay up late on weekends because of you, Internet people

So when I go on Tumblr and/or Pinterest during these hours, there are always food posts and OH MY GOD...

It's a good thing that we can order fast food online!

But the bad thing? When you order online, you'll have to tell them how much money you're going to give the delivery guy so he can bring the exact change.

What's so bad about that, you ask? Doing that takes about eleventy million inconvenient steps!

Like first, I have to put my laptop down VERY carefully (but not on the bed because it will set my bed on fire).

So I have to think of a safe place to put the laptop.

And then decide to use a book that's big enough to support the laptop but not too big to give the laptop space to breathe fire. I swear, my laptop is a fucking dragon. (If there's not a book nearby, that's another freaking step.)

After that, I have to get the huge blanket off of me.

Then get out of bed.

But then I have to remember where I put my money, which is in my wallet, and my wallet is in my bag. But where the fuck is my bag?

So I have to turn the lights on to look for my bag.

And then space out. It's unavoidable.

Then focus on focusing.

And then I have to eventually find out that the money in my wallet is enough for me to live comfortably for the rest of my life (if I  die the next day).

After finding out that I'm poor, I have to change my mind about ordering food online because that shit is not practical and that I just have to lower my standards and eat whatever food is available in my house.

Then I have to do everything backwards to go back to bed.

After that, I have to fool myself into thinking that I don't want food that badly and remember that binge eating is really bad anyway.

And lastly, sulk and expect the Internet to amuse me.

All that trouble and what do I get? HEARTBREAK.

My life. It's harder than yours. But your milkshake probably brings all the boys to the yard. So yay for you.

I don't want to suffer alone so here are some pictures:

And these:

AND THESE:

I know what you're thinking.

You're welcome.

Can you see these notes? Because these are important but I had to make it small and gray because... I don't know. I just did.

*I found this post in my drafts folder, unfinished. I totally forgot about this.

*The food pics aren't mine. I got them from Tumblr, my home.

Holla if you see these notes because that means you're awesome. If not, you're still awesome.