(Read this in an annoying, infomercial guy with fake enthusiasm voice.)
Feeling like you fail at life because the supposedly inspirational black-and-white picture of a random stone you found outside looks ordinary now?
WELL ASSHOLES, WORRY NO MORE!
PREPARE YOURSELVES FOR ANOTHER AWESOMENESS!!!
From the makers of the Bloggenator pill, the MutantBerry, and the Fuct Tape, we bring you:
THE InstaWHOASHIT!
NOW YOU CAN RAPE ALL SOCIAL NETWORKS WITH PICTURES!!!
How is this different from InstaDAMN, you ask?
The InstaWHOASHIT is not just a photo sharing shit. It's a gadget! A GADGET!
InstaDamn is SO mainstream!
With the InstaWHOASHIT, you can edit your shit right from the camera and turn a boring and ordinary picture this:
Into a deep and inspirational picture like this:
YOU CAN TAKE A PICTURE OF YOURSELF ANYTIME!
Take your picture the moment you wake up...
When you're about to take a shower...
When you're about to go to bed...
Annoyed while waiting for someone's text? TAKE A PICTURE!!!
Annoyed while waiting for someone's text? TAKE A PICTURE!!!
Constipated? TAKE A PICTURE!!!
JUST TAKE A PICTURE WHENEVER YOU FEEL LIKE IT!!!
TAKE A PICTURE WHEN YOU'RE SAD!
WHEN YOU'RE BORED!
EVEN WHEN YOU'RE POSSESSED!!!
POSSESSED WITH AWESOMENESS!!!
With the InstaWHOASHIT, you can post 100 pictures in ONE MINUTE!!!
NOW PEOPLE WILL HAVE THE PRIVILEGE OF MEMORIZING YOUR FACE!
Not only that! Nuh-uh!
NOT. ONLY. THAT!
With the InstaWHOASHIT, everything turns into art!!!
EVEN THAT RANDOM DRIED LEAF YOU FOUND ON THE STREET WILL TURN INTO A WORK OF ART!
OR THAT FROG THAT YOU ALMOST DIDN'T CATCH BECAUSE IT WAS FAST!
YOU CAN TAKE A PICTURE OF YOUR TRASH CAN!
YOUR NEIGHBOR'S TRASH CAN!!!
TAKE A PICTURE OF EVERY GARBAGE THING YOU SEE!
With the InstaWHOASHIT, you can OVERUSE and MISUSE all the filters and effects and no one will care because you're automatically deep and artistic!
WHOA! Instant photographer!
Life is too short to learn photography!
With the InstaWHOASHIT, YOU DON'T NEED A PROFILE PICTURE LIKE THIS ANYMORE!
WHAT YOU NEED IS THIS:
OR BETTER YET, THIS!
AWESOME!!!
FOREVER ALONE?
FRET NO MORE.
With the InstaWHOASHIT, this will happen!!!
With the InstaWHOASHIT, this will happen!!!
ALL THESE AMAZINGNESS FOR...
$30,000.00
AN INTRODUCTORY OFFER OF
WHAT A HUGE DISCOUNT!
AN INTRODUCTORY OFFER OF
$29,999.99!
WHAT A HUGE DISCOUNT!
So what are you waiting for?
CALL 1-800-WHOAcalmdownwiththatSHIT NOW!
BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!
It's like the gods of technology finally did something right!!!
BUT WAIT!!! THERE'S MORE!!!
Be one of the first ten callers and you get...
.
.
.
nothing.
WHAT A GREAT DEAL!
CALL NOW!
Dude, I love you.
ReplyDeleteThat's all.
And some company should hire you to be their creative manager.
Haha! Love you too! Also, yes. I need a new job! :p
DeleteI must admit I am addicted with those filters in instagram as if they're making everything nice, but your InstaWHOASHIT is more awesome. Not to mention the extra uses when you're sick of it. LOL
ReplyDeleteBest features ever!
DeleteAwesome!!!! I just took a picture of this post and made it look all old western and uploaded it 100 times all over the web!!
ReplyDeleteLove it!!! This is hilarious!
Was I one of the first 10!!! Man I havent received "nothing" since last Christmas!! I hope I win!
OF COURSE! You will receive...
Delete.
.
.
.
.
nothing.
Hahahah what a waste of time! And yet...I'm strangely drawn to this product. Must...take....artsy....pictures...of....nothing.
ReplyDeleteYes! With the InstaWHOASHIT, even nothing becomes artsy!
DeleteThere's another gadget that everyone except me will get. But, be sure to hold some features back for instaWHOASHIT 2!!
ReplyDeleteJay
I have huge plans for InstaWHOASHIT 2! Like changing it's color from brown to light brown. Huge change, I know.
DeleteWow i think i need one Gnetch hahaha! I think you already knew whom i would throw it first ;)
ReplyDeleteGnetch, you're drawings are epic!
Thanks!! :)
DeleteOk. My son calls me Amish cuz I know very little about all this shit so.....all I have to say here is....Love you!
ReplyDeleteHaha! Love you too, MC!
DeleteIf my face wasn't so funny looking, I would buy it. Oh, and if I had good credit. Oh, and I knew how to use a camera.
ReplyDeleteBut with the InstaWHOASHIT, you don't have to know how to use a camera! :p
DeleteHooter! Absolute hooter. From the first word to the 'nothing'. Amazing. Why don't you make videos like KevJumba? You'd be (in the over excited voice) AS FAMOUS AND AS AWESOME AS THE INSTAWOAHSHIT!!
ReplyDeleteAnd oh, I want the Instawoahshit because it edits are AMAZING!
Haha! I don't have Kevin's superhuman video editing skills and infinite adorableness so that wouldn't work for me.
Deletehahahaahahahahahahahahahahaaahahahahahahahaah You, my friend, are possessed with Awesomeness! Did you buy the Instashit?
ReplyDeleteBahahaha! Thank you! I did not, because I created the InstaWHOASHIT! :P
DeleteHahahahahah
DeleteWell, you should sure as hell sell it! XD
hahahhaa! that is truly amazing! i'd like to have one and throw it at someone's shit face.
ReplyDeleteI knew you'd like that feature!
Deletelmao....................now thats awesome
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure I giggled through this entire post. Love it.
ReplyDeleteThank you!!
DeleteWoah! Shit! Needs.
ReplyDeleteI'm already hot, can you please just take a second to imagine what I would look like with this? YEP.
Best comment so far! Haha!
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWOAH !
ReplyDeleteI need one NOW !
Good job on the pics ... ya goof !
Those nasty typo's... got anything to fix that ?
;-)
Haha! Maxy!! I got what you meant the first time, even with the typo!!! Too bad Blogger doesn't allow us to edit comments! :)
DeleteOh, and thanks!
and fb goes on fire
ReplyDeletehahaha! these are great instagram drawings
ReplyDeleteThank you, Whitney!
DeleteThis is great!
ReplyDeleteAwesome! Now I can take pictures of my junk in Sepia tone!
ReplyDeleteFAVORITE. POST. EVER.
ReplyDelete"NOW YOU CAN RAPE ALL SOCIAL NETWORKS WITH PICTURES!!!" That line right there just made you my favorite blog read all fuckin week -- LOVE IT!
ReplyDeleteDamn, that's a deal! I just need the French girls and I'll be all set.
ReplyDelete"Constipated? TAKE A PICTURE!!!" - that line totally made my day :)
ReplyDeleteThis is so true though...Instagram is like the new hipster thingy... they feel so cool using it, and it almost makes them believe they're good photographers just because they can use that automatic shade crap. Ridiculous.
NIce One Thank you
ReplyDeleteAppartement à vendre casablanca