Monday, August 18, 2014

How to Know If She's SO Obsessed Over You

Hi!!!

So, how do I do this blogging thing again? Is this thing working? Hello?

Anyway, the Ray of Fucking Sunshine is back!

Thanks for this awesome pic, JayMan!
So, okay. Time to celebrate! Let's all get drunk and wax our friends' chests like bad ass friend would!

Uh. Oh, not your thing. It's okay, though. You can choose other activities. It's your life. Hey!

Here's the thing: I have noticed that men have difficulty telling whether a girl is into them or not.

So guys? Read carefully.

Women are confusing creatures! Sometimes, we make you feel like we're just leading you on. Other times, we make you feel like we're already expecting more than what you are willing to give. Can't blame us, though. You're a fucking heartthrob and we're just... psychos!

How do you like my new hair?
I'm going to give you guys some signs so you can tell if a girl is already SO into you or if it's just in that sweeeeeeet little fucking head of yours.

1.You give her a compliment. She says, "Aw..." and compliments you back.

OHMYGOD dude, she's SO into you! Who cares if you've only spoken for, like, three days? That "aw" shit? That's a code for, "Let's have a relationship!"

I would know! I'm a girl!

2. You send her a message with a joke. She replies with, "Haha!"

What flirt! She totally likes you! Everyone knows "haha" is a code for, "Have babies with me!" I mean, duh?

3. You ask her out. She agrees and says you're probably fun to hang out with because your jokes are totally haha-worthy!

Dude. Open your eyes! She's obsessed! She is expecting more than you are willing to give! She's a psycho, so beware. Cut all connections immediately because she might ruin your heartthrob status! If you went out with her, she might drug your drink, or worse, use a horse tranquillizer to knock you out, and take you home to her parents. When you come to, she will introduce you to her parents as her fiancé and tell them you got her pregnant.

Creepy, I know. But every girl you hit on gets automatically attached to you, you hot, chick-magnet! Such a hard life, I'm sorry. Try punching yourself in the face, to at least minimize the sex appeal you got.

But having a black eye could still make you look like a bad ass, which is a turn on for some girls. There's no escaping us. I'm really sorry, you irresistible stud!

Can I touch your face?

*****

I want to explain my disappearance. Life happened. Terrible, terrible things.

I missed you guys! Aw, right? Sweet! (But this doesn't mean I'm SO into you already, okay?)

16 comments:

  1. Who is this Gnetch person? She seems familiar but I can't put my finger on it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Replies
    1. Hahaha!! (You know, this is a code.)

      Delete
  3. Welcome back! What kind of terrible things happened? Did you have a baby? JK. Maybe.

    ReplyDelete
  4. What a great idea this was. TOLD YOU.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Great to see you back. We live in totally different worlds but your posts make me laugh and laugh :O

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you!! I'm glad my post made you laugh! I'll be back from time to time to rant or something!! :P

      Delete
  6. I can't believe I ALMOST thought you were serious when you said..
    "Women are confusing creatures! Sometimes, we make you feel like we're just leading you on. Other times, we make you feel like we're already expecting more than what you are willing to give. Can't blame us, though. You're a fucking heartthrob and we're just... psychos!"

    haha!! :D

    This was totally HaHa-worthy!!

    better ruuuun !! I'm obsessed with you ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha! And I thought you know me well! Of course I wasn't being serious! :)

      Delete