It's like I'm not giving you a choice. Just say YES.

So my friends at work and I have been looking for a new job. And no, this is not just an ordinary I-HATE-MY-COWORKERS-SO-I-NEED-A-NEW-JOB kind of looking. Okay. A little bit of that but aside from that, this is really serious. SO serious. (With occasional laughing and making fun of some of the job openings that we see on the Internet, of course. But still.) Serious. Really serious.

Like I'm-out-of-fucking-coffee-goddammit serious.

Because our company is about to close down.

A.K.A. Cease operation.

A.K.A...

Okay. You get it.

Anyway, what can I do? I mean, even though they are my friends, I have to keep one step ahead.

So I decided to post some of my skills on this blog. FOR THE WHOLE WORLD TO SEE!

And by for the whole world, I mean all 14 of you who still read my blog.

So, potential employers? Sit back and relax while I tell you how I can benefit your firm IF and only IF you *HIRE ME*.

1.  Do you need someone who can make really sweet greeting cards? I made a few samples months ago. Hallmark ignored it.Well, now is your great chance. Let Hallmark regret their decision of ignoring my undeniable sweetness and thoughtfulness.

Here's another sample.

I know, I'm really sweet.

Uhm, Starbucks, you can hire me too if you want.

2. Do you need a stylist? A designer? Do you need a costume for Halloween? I don't mean to brag but that's one of my many talents. I am very creative.
 

One of my very creative, original, fashion-forward creations. A female ghost costume. Wait 'til you see the male ghost.

Here.

I really should have auditioned for Project Runway. Dang!

3. Do you need someone who is positive and adorable? A PR Person maybe?

With my utmost charm, I can make people believe everything I say. Or buy anything I sell. Plus, I am very patient! What a bonus!

WHO DREW THAT? I DIDN'T DRAW THAT! SOMEONE'S OUT TO GET ME. I'M REALLY PATIENT. ASK MY MOM.


I promise, I will be the best employee ever. I'm a people person.

I am very VERY charming. I have the tendency to look NATURALLY angelic especially when I'm not smiling. It's like the default setting of my face. Friendly and pleasant. Very approachable.

Don't you think it's charming? But really, the person holding the camera should know how to count before clicking.

I didn't know I was in the picture and I didn't realize I was giving my friend that look. Don't judge.

So to my dear future super lucky employer? What are you waiting for? Hire me before anyone else gets the chance to steal me from you.