The Biggest Fuck You of 2010. At least for me. But you know what I mean.

I've only been gone for like, what, 2 weeks? And I forgot how to start a paragraph.

That sucks.

But!

Did you miss me? I missed you! No. I swear!

As I promised, I'm gonna tell you the cake thief's side of the story. On HOW THE CAKE ENDED UP INSIDE HER MOTHER-IN-LAW'S STOMACH.

Yes. You heard it right. She gave the cake to her mother-in-law. As a gift. Because that's what good daughters-in-law do.

So.

This post is super long by the way. But please read. Thank you. I love you. Hahaha.

Well, this doesn't look like a Sansrival to me either but I'm too lazy to redraw.

Our company has an online grocery/bakeshop etc., where employees can log in and order stuff and the items will be delivered to our office and the amount will just be deducted from our salary. Which, I must say, is quite convenient.

So last month, I ordered a butter Sansrival for my cousin's 10th birthday. The thing is, since I was working night shifts (yes, was. I work AMs now), and there's no delivery scheduled at dawn, I had to have it delivered Friday, at 12 noon. My plan was for my friends at work to text me when the cake arrives and I will just have my brother pick it up there.

I waited the whole day for their text but they said my cake did not arrive. I WAS FURIOUS.

At 5pm, one of my coworkers texted me that my cake has not arrived and she was about to go home. She said only one cake was delivered and it was for [insert name of the cake thief here].

I was so mad. I was expecting my cake and it did not arrive! So I sent 3 angry emails to the bakeshop. I got no response.

According to that friend, she saw, (okay, let's name the thief Cakey), carrying a box of cake.

Cakey's explanation to her: "I'm glad this cake arrived today. This is scheduled for tomorrow. But I don't won't be here tomorrow."

Then, she continued her story. "I ordered butter Sansrival because I don't like the toffee flavor. I'm gonna give this to my mother-in-law as a gift."

When my friend was texting me their conversation, I thought why would the bakeshop deliver someone else's cake, which was scheduled to be delivered the next day? And why didn't they just deliver both mine and hers at the same time since we ordered THE SAME ITEM.

As I said, I got angry. I sent 3 E-mails to the bakeshop. I had one of my coworkers talk to them on the phone and I, too, called them. At 1 AM.

Then the revelation: The person who answered the phone said, "There was no delivery for Cakey today. She did not order anything."

Splendid. Fuck.

So the next day (mind you guys, I was sick during this time. This caused me too much trouble), I went to the bakeshop's office to confirm stuff. They showed me the duplicate of the delivery receipt. With MY NAME on it. So yes, the cake Cakey took home was MINE.

I decided to reported the incident to my manager. I could not confront Cakey about this because this is theft. I had to do what was right. I had to have my manager call the bakeshop so they can decide what had to be done. Also, Cakey and I? NOT FRIENDS. We don't even talk to each other. We don't even see each other because of our work schedule. And she's, let's say, crazy. Crazy as in making things up, telling stories about how rich she is, how her boyfriend's too scared to lose her, and all that bullshit.

So when Cakey found out that *I* found her out, she texted me.

Good AM, Gnetch. I was told that I *accidentally* took your cake? I don't understand because my name was on the receipt and I know I placed an order. Now, I checked [insert website of the bakeshop here], my order was deleted. I'm really confused I can't get the receipt anymore because I removed it from the box and threw it away. And I didn't bother to check the name because I know it was mine. I'll call [bakeshop website] later. But I doubt they will admit their mistake. I'm just annoyed because my name was on the receipt and I know I ordered a cake. You should have just told me. Would you like me to pay you? -- Cakey

First, she said it was her name that was on the receipt. Then second, she did not bother to check the receipt because she was expecting the cake that day. And then she repeated that it was her name on the receipt.

Also? You remember she said to my coworker who saw her that she was expecting her cake to arrive Saturday? SO HOW WOULD SHE EXPECT HER CAKE TO BE DELIVERED ON FRIDAY?

Can you see how stupid she is? She can't even get her story straight.

She texted me a lot of times to try to clear her name, saying how confused she is about the mistake, and putting the blame on the bakeshop. The bitch even told me that she didn't know if she should apologize to me or not because she did not do anything wrong.

I told her I have the duplicate of the receipt. With MY name on it.

Her excuse: "They can make a fake duplicate. You know how they are. They always make mistakes." Then went on texting me her horror stories about the bakeshop. Well, basically just to make it look like it was the bakeshop's mistake. And that the bakeshop sabotaged her to make her look like a thief.

And her excuse on how her order history was deleted? "They know our passwords." Very convenient.

Now, why would the bakeshop delete her order history? Why would they do that to her? She's not that important. No. Really. She's not.

She event updated her status on Facebook on how pissed off she with the bakeshop.

TRANSLATION: (1) is pistoff with [name of bakeshop]! hello???! I made the mistake? Are you sure???? (2) is pistoff with our bakeshop! hello????! I made the mistake? how many times have you messed up??!!

Well honey, there's no such word as pistoff. You're welcome.

So anyway, she went on and on and on for days about how the bakeshop messed up. And then the story turned into me TRYING to make her look like a thief.

And now she's the victim. I'm the bad guy. I know. Fucking awesome. She even texted me, giving me advise [sic] (believe me, that was how she spelled it) that the next time this happens, I should confront the person.

Well, no. Just. Fucking. No.

So she said she'll just pay me but I HAVE TO GO TO HER CUBICLE to get the money. I said no. Why would I go to her? She's the one who caused me trouble, she should come to me!

She said I WAS MAKING A BIG DEAL OUT OF NOTHING and that I WAS BEING IMMATURE.

REALLY BITCH?

Well, I won. She came to me to pay for the cake she stole.

And you thought she's done now, did you? NO! Oh, no.

A few days later, she posted this on Facebook (AGAIN):

"Super tired last night.. xmas party @___ and [name of the restaurant] (was not able to eat because my stub was missing. who would take it? they have serial numbers) and ruins ___ until 10pm..."

The missing "stub" she was talking about was a gift certificate (to a restaurant) given by our CEO to us employees.

When she reported the missing GC (or stub, as she called it) to our manager, she said she did not get hers. That she heard it was distributed to the night shift employees. She was requesting the night shifts to be investigated.

Now, again... Why would she go to the restaurant if she hasn't received her GC?

Again, my dear. Get your story straight. If you weren't able to receive the GC, your GC, why would you go to that restaurant?

So as I said, she wanted the night shift employees investigated. Now, I think this was why she was insisting that I go to her cubicle to get her payment. SO SHE CAN CLAIM THAT I TOOK IT. Well, I'm glad I did not go to her. My pride saved me from being framed.

Oh God. She's so stupid. So I sort of edited her wanted poster.

Stupidity is a crime, bitch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In a totally different note, may I remind everyone that we are gonna be having our Martini-Mud Mask party next week. Those who wants to attend, you may send me your pictures. Now!! ;)

I've sent the invitation on Facebook and emailed the others. If you're new to this blog, the online party looks like THIS but now, we have to be in facial masks and drinking a martini. But it doesn't really have to be a martini. We're not so strict here. EVERYONE'S INVITED!!

I'd like to thank my co-organizers, Sweta, Tyla (who designed the invitation) and Ria for this idea.