Tuesday, May 1, 2012

The InstaWHOASHIT

(Read this in an annoying, infomercial guy with fake enthusiasm voice.)

Feeling worthless because no one "likes" your DSLR profile picture anymore?

Feeling like you fail at life because the supposedly inspirational black-and-white picture of a random stone you found outside looks ordinary now?

WELL ASSHOLES, WORRY NO MORE!

PREPARE YOURSELVES FOR ANOTHER AWESOMENESS!!!

From the makers of the Bloggenator pill, the MutantBerry, and the Fuct Tape, we bring you:

THE InstaWHOASHIT!


NOW YOU CAN RAPE ALL SOCIAL NETWORKS WITH PICTURES!!!

How is this different from InstaDAMN, you ask?

The InstaWHOASHIT is not just a photo sharing shit. It's a gadget! A GADGET!


InstaDamn is SO mainstream!

With the InstaWHOASHIT, you can edit your shit right from the camera and turn a boring and ordinary picture this:


Into a deep and inspirational picture like this:



YOU CAN TAKE A PICTURE OF YOURSELF ANYTIME!

Take your picture the moment you wake up...
When you're about to take a shower...
When you're about to go to bed...

Annoyed while waiting for someone's text? TAKE A PICTURE!!!
Constipated? TAKE A PICTURE!!!
JUST TAKE A PICTURE WHENEVER YOU FEEL LIKE IT!!!

TAKE A PICTURE WHEN YOU'RE SAD!


WHEN YOU'RE BORED!


EVEN WHEN YOU'RE POSSESSED!!!


POSSESSED WITH AWESOMENESS!!!

With the InstaWHOASHIT, you can post 100 pictures in ONE MINUTE!!!
NOW PEOPLE WILL HAVE THE PRIVILEGE OF MEMORIZING YOUR FACE!

Not only that! Nuh-uh!

NOT. ONLY. THAT!

With the InstaWHOASHIT, everything turns into art!!!

EVEN THAT RANDOM DRIED LEAF YOU FOUND ON THE STREET WILL TURN INTO A WORK OF ART!


OR THAT FROG THAT YOU ALMOST DIDN'T CATCH BECAUSE IT WAS FAST!


YOU CAN TAKE A PICTURE OF YOUR TRASH CAN!


YOUR NEIGHBOR'S TRASH CAN!!!

TAKE A PICTURE OF EVERY GARBAGE THING YOU SEE!

With the InstaWHOASHIT, you can OVERUSE and MISUSE all the filters and effects and no one will care because you're automatically deep and artistic!

WHOA! Instant photographer!

Life is too short to learn photography!

With the InstaWHOASHIT, YOU DON'T NEED A PROFILE PICTURE LIKE THIS ANYMORE!


WHAT YOU NEED IS THIS:


OR BETTER YET, THIS!




AWESOME!!!

FOREVER ALONE?

FRET NO MORE.

With the InstaWHOASHIT, this will happen!!!


ALL THESE AMAZINGNESS FOR...

$30,000.00

 AN INTRODUCTORY OFFER OF
$29,999.99!

WHAT A HUGE DISCOUNT!

So what are you waiting for?
CALL 1-800-WHOAcalmdownwiththatSHIT NOW!

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!


 
Can YOU imagine?

It's like the gods of technology finally did something right!!!


BUT WAIT!!! THERE'S MORE!!!

Be one of the first ten callers and you get...
 .
.
.
nothing.


 WHAT A GREAT DEAL!

CALL NOW!

42 comments:

  1. Dude, I love you.
    That's all.
    And some company should hire you to be their creative manager.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha! Love you too! Also, yes. I need a new job! :p

      Delete
  2. I must admit I am addicted with those filters in instagram as if they're making everything nice, but your InstaWHOASHIT is more awesome. Not to mention the extra uses when you're sick of it. LOL

    ReplyDelete
  3. Awesome!!!! I just took a picture of this post and made it look all old western and uploaded it 100 times all over the web!!
    Love it!!! This is hilarious!
    Was I one of the first 10!!! Man I havent received "nothing" since last Christmas!! I hope I win!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OF COURSE! You will receive...
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .

      nothing.

      Delete
  4. Hahahah what a waste of time! And yet...I'm strangely drawn to this product. Must...take....artsy....pictures...of....nothing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes! With the InstaWHOASHIT, even nothing becomes artsy!

      Delete
  5. There's another gadget that everyone except me will get. But, be sure to hold some features back for instaWHOASHIT 2!!

    Jay

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have huge plans for InstaWHOASHIT 2! Like changing it's color from brown to light brown. Huge change, I know.

      Delete
  6. Wow i think i need one Gnetch hahaha! I think you already knew whom i would throw it first ;)

    Gnetch, you're drawings are epic!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ok. My son calls me Amish cuz I know very little about all this shit so.....all I have to say here is....Love you!

    ReplyDelete
  8. If my face wasn't so funny looking, I would buy it. Oh, and if I had good credit. Oh, and I knew how to use a camera.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But with the InstaWHOASHIT, you don't have to know how to use a camera! :p

      Delete
  9. Hooter! Absolute hooter. From the first word to the 'nothing'. Amazing. Why don't you make videos like KevJumba? You'd be (in the over excited voice) AS FAMOUS AND AS AWESOME AS THE INSTAWOAHSHIT!!

    And oh, I want the Instawoahshit because it edits are AMAZING!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha! I don't have Kevin's superhuman video editing skills and infinite adorableness so that wouldn't work for me.

      Delete
  10. hahahaahahahahahahahahahahaaahahahahahahahaah You, my friend, are possessed with Awesomeness! Did you buy the Instashit?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bahahaha! Thank you! I did not, because I created the InstaWHOASHIT! :P

      Delete
    2. Hahahahahah
      Well, you should sure as hell sell it! XD

      Delete
  11. hahahhaa! that is truly amazing! i'd like to have one and throw it at someone's shit face.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I knew you'd like that feature!

      Delete
  12. lmao....................now thats awesome

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm pretty sure I giggled through this entire post. Love it.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Woah! Shit! Needs.

    I'm already hot, can you please just take a second to imagine what I would look like with this? YEP.

    ReplyDelete
  15. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  16. WOAH !
    I need one NOW !

    Good job on the pics ... ya goof !

    Those nasty typo's... got anything to fix that ?
    ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha! Maxy!! I got what you meant the first time, even with the typo!!! Too bad Blogger doesn't allow us to edit comments! :)

      Oh, and thanks!

      Delete
  17. hahaha! these are great instagram drawings

    ReplyDelete
  18. Awesome! Now I can take pictures of my junk in Sepia tone!

    ReplyDelete
  19. "NOW YOU CAN RAPE ALL SOCIAL NETWORKS WITH PICTURES!!!" That line right there just made you my favorite blog read all fuckin week -- LOVE IT!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Damn, that's a deal! I just need the French girls and I'll be all set.

    ReplyDelete
  21. "Constipated? TAKE A PICTURE!!!" - that line totally made my day :)

    This is so true though...Instagram is like the new hipster thingy... they feel so cool using it, and it almost makes them believe they're good photographers just because they can use that automatic shade crap. Ridiculous.

    ReplyDelete