Which means they don't hold grudge. We are really the best of friends. We don't hate each other even when I send them hateful tweets and stuff like that.
Sometimes, I imagine that Blogger is human. And if it were, I'd have a drink with it.
And sometimes, I imagine it as a "he".
Okay. You have a dirty mind! NOT WHAT YOU'RE THINKING!
Because guy friends are sometimes cooler, that's why!
Me: Hey, Bloggidoodle, my favorite virtual friend!!! How are you?
Blogger: (Confused face.) We're not friends. Are we?
Me: (I playfully hit his arm. Very lightly. But Blogger is old and his knees are weak. He falls to the ground.) Ooops! You stupid! Haha! You don't take enough calcium! Your bones are weak! Haha!
Me: Okay. Get up. We ARE friends. FRIENDS. F-R-I-E-N-D-S. Friends. You hear? (Blogger sometimes is slow to pick up.) We go way back. Remember?
B: (Thinks really really hard.) No...?
Me: (I hide my impatience.) Okay. Remember when we were drunk, we played Hang Snooki's Brother Upside Down and my friends and I hung you upside down because you look like Snooki? And I was in a superhero costume?
B: I don't remember that! And... Snooki's brother?
Me: Well...? You're orange!
Me: Oh! I've seen you pee! In public, you disgusting person, you!!
B: I've never done that!
Me: Oh, really?
|That's a statue, by the way. No, I SWEAR!|
B: Why do you keep mocking me?
Me: Mocking? You? No!!! That's called being close friends! Don't take it personally! Don't you think it's awesome that we are in that level of friendship where we can mock each other???
B: I never mocked you!!!
Me: Well...? You can start now.
B: (Blogger, again, is confused. He could really be an idiot sometimes. But don't tell him I said so.) You mean, I can make fun of you? Right now?
Me: That's what I said, you dope! Haha. (I add "haha" so Blogger won't be offended. He's really sensitive and shit.)
B: Okay...? You're short.
Me: Haha! That's cool!
B: Your feet are too small, they could be mistaken for keychains.
Me: (I look at my feet. I look back at Blogger and fake a smile.) That's okay. Haha! So. Is it my turn now?
B: (Nervous face.)
Me: Don't worry. I won't mock you. Not now. I love you, my friend. You just made me a Blog of Note. How can I make fun of you? You jump, I jump, remember?
B: I'm really doubting your sincerity. That line is from Titanic!
Me: Okay. You've seen Titanic. Fine. But really, I love you! (Makes a dramatic face.) If you're a bird, then I'm a bird.
B: That's from The Notebook!
Me: You watch too many movies!!!
B: People blog about movies! Of course I know a lot of movies.
Me: You have a point. But still. Why do you doubt me?
B: Okay. I know you. You want something. What do you want?
Me: I don't want anything! Just... Uhm... Maybe let me put Adsense on my blog?
B: You know that's not possible!
Me: (Okay. He's becoming a little smarter.) But I don't do most of those things anymore! Right? I've changed!
B: Can I mock you again?
Me: Look at you, you're being impatient! Haha!!
B: (Taps foot. I'm creating a monster.)
Me: Fine! Go!
B: You're old.
Me: Okay. I'll take it. 29 is old.
B: And you're short.
Me: (Fakes a smile.) You said that already! Haha! You forgot! You must be tired. You want to go rest now? It's past your bedtime.
B: You look 10.
I did create a monster!
In my defense, that picture was taken LAST YEAR!
Okay, that didn't really help me.
I was only joking with that kiddie pose.
Dammit. Dammit. Dammit!
On a serious note, I'd like to thank Ratzy and Dr. Heckle for letting me know about this Blog of Note thing. And thanks for the awesome messages. Dammit, you guys! Why are you so awesome?