Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Your Ugly Shoes Unleashed The Poet In Me

First, I'd like to say that I really loved your comments on my last post. Thanks everyone for standing by me on my throwing-a-fit day. And to those who did not bother to read it, well, read it now! :)

Second, I should do this:

Disclaimer: Writer of the poems below is not a professional poet. Yet. Should you want to hire her and make her professional, let her know. But you have to wear an awful pair of shoes to inspire her. Or else, hiring her would just be a waste of your time and money. You're just gonna regret hiring her. And you can't fire just like that because if you do that, she will die of hunger and it will stay in your conscience for the rest of your life.

Third, you might wanna have a very absorbent tissue or hanky or newspaper (?!) handy. Anything you can use to wipe your tears and sweat and all that stuff because this is gonna be a tearjerker and I really did put my whole circulatory system into these poems.

Fourth...

Uhm.. Can't think of any.

Anyway...

Let's do this thingy!

So I did not mention that the girls on my last post have no sense of fashion though they insinuate they do. Like, they talk about other people's taste in clothes and choice of music and stuff. So now I'm mentioning it because this is payback. No, I'm kidding. But if I'm not, who cares? I'm just trying to explain how my inner poet was brought out.

This happened last week at work. I was busy doing my job when someone walked behind me. But it was just Girl 1, going to talk to another coworker so I turned away instantly. Then, something awfully shiny, lust red to be exact, caught my eye so I turned to look again but only for a second. I saw it! She was wearing a pair of shiny, shimmery, aluminum foily, lust red flat shoes! With colorful socks on! So I turned away again, confused. Were my eyes playing tricks on me? Do I need to see a specialist? Then secretly, I took a peek again. There it was! The shoes! She really was wearing an awful pair of shiny, shimmery, aluminum foily, lust red* shoes! I was not seeing things! I really thought I was. Like the ghost of Dorothy of the Wizard of Oz came to haunt me.

* I actually Googled the shades of red for this. But I did not see any Christmassy red there and I think lust red is the nearest shade.

Was my explanation too long?

Okay, so after I confirmed what I saw, these poems came to mind.

Ready???


*actual shoes are much worse

UGLY RED SHOES I
By: Gnetch

When you walked by
I uttered "Oh my!"
You caught my attention like a bright light
Your ugly shoes abused my eyesight


Wait, wait, wait!! Here's another one:

UGLY RED SHOES II
By: Gnetch
When you walked by my office table
I looked down and it was unbelievable
To fathom I was just unable
Why you buy shoes that are horrible


Ha!

What do you guys think?

10 comments:

  1. you're definitely a poet... and you SO know it!

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  2. Very deep hun :D
    Love to see good, passionate, romantic poetry around here! ;)

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  3. egosyntonic literally stole the words out of my mouth. i want them back!

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  4. Those look like the shoes Dorothy from the Wizard Of Oz would wear if, you know, she was on crack...

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  5. I would wear those. I would wear those in public.

    But I would be very silly about it.

    Yay ugly shoes!

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  6. I pray that you are wrong... and they were not actually PURCHASED. If someone really spent hard-earned money on those, they should be shot.

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  7. Thanks so much for the recipe girl! And I will totally try it!

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  8. Oh geez, the only girls that are tolerable to wear something like that are kindergarten students.

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  9. I's love to study you for my exams day after.You're much more interesting! hmp! :P

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